I wrote this down awhile back and I think it still accurately describes how I perceive my existence. I used to not really like the term Atheist because I felt it had a negative connotation, however it is the term that most accurately describes by beliefs. I am certainly an atheist even as opposed to being agnostic. However I have come to terms with this stance and have tried to see what many would consider a pessimistic view through a hopeful lens. Any responses are welcome: I am firm with my beliefs but am not easily offended and always keep an open mind. I wrote this about a year ago deep 100+ days into a nofap streak and was just thinking about my life and its trajectory. I was asked to write an essay about my religious views in which I took a more traditional Atheist view, however it was not until I later watched a film in the same class that indirectly caused me to see my beliefs in a newfound light: Reccently finished watching "Waking Life" this was an incredibly interesting film that evoked deep thought in me in regards to what happens after death. The movie proposed a scenario that was particularly enthralling: essentially after death, you continue living in a dream state unable to awaken. I like this idea, and it gives me a new perspective however my thoughts on the matter remain the same. I believe our conscious minds cease to exist completely after death because the neurological processes that allow us to dream will quit working. There is no afterlife and we cease to think after death. However there were two other concepts proposed in the film: this seemingly flawed world is actually perfection, and we cant understand and live life simultaneously. The idea that we face a grim fate is actually beautiful in my eyes. The way we are brought into the world randomly and spontaneously for an extremely brief time is absolutely amazing. I am ecstatic to be able to experience it even if its only once and for a very short time. To me this is perfection. I wouldn't have it any other way. I accept my fate and would rather know the truth than live a life devoted to false hope. I accept, nay, look forward to life. There will be good times and bad, but its the way of life. I will see those dear to me perish, and witness the fervor of youth I now firmly grasp slowly fade. But alas! how great my life is going to be. I will continue to see my intellect grow. I will graduate from school, own my own house, make new friends, have a wife I love very much and grow old with, have kids who I will love no matter what, I will be fulfilled in my life. And when the time comes for me to die... I will look fondly on my life and feel great having lived. I will embrace the eternal darkness that will envelope me and not feel sorrow when my time has come. I wouldn't want it any other way. This is my destiny and I couldn't be happier or more mystified by the beauty of life and nature. Life is worth living, and these imperfections are what make the world perfect.