Attitudes towards women

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by A1exV, Jan 21, 2018.

  1. A1exV

    A1exV Fapstronaut

    Hi, new here and curious to explore the NoFap culture. I have thought that porn was great in the past, teaching me all kinds of sex moves and so on, without really questioning what it was implicitly teaching me about women, what all this rough sex was really saying about the role of women in relationships.

    A big reason for me giving up porn, and then masturbation, was the kind of neediness it encourages. For example, I am not feeling great in this moment, so, instead of working through that feeling, meditating perhaps or going for a run, I need pornographic images of women to give me that hit, like a junky, leaving me feeling empty afterwards.

    Women are widely presented as sexual objects in the media, from advertisements to films, without pornography reinforcing that message. I don't think this helps create fulfilling relationships. For us to treat women as sex objects it is the same as when a gold digging woman treats a man as a 'success object', it is a hollow relationship.

    So, there are other health related reasons why I am NoFap, but I am also hoping to encourage in myself a healthier way to relate to women and the female form!
  2. Hey A1exV,
    Welcome to the NoFap community!
    Congratulations on 6 days so far.
    If you haven't already, take a look at this information on rebooting. I've found it helpful in knowing what to expect.
    Feel free to message me or anyone else here if you have questions or want to talk.
    Best of luck during your reboot.
    Again, Welcome!
    Trappist likes this.
  3. Hi welcome. You're right about being surrounded by sexualized images. Odds are really stacked against us.
    Good luck with nofap
    Trappist likes this.
  4. A1exV

    A1exV Fapstronaut

    I hear what you're saying man. Although, if you look back in history, there's lots to suggest that how men look at women has been a challenge in our experience. A few thousand years ago even, in Islam there has been the practice of averting one's gaze away from the opposite sex and Buddhists monks, male and female, would practice completely separately from one another to avoid what they referred to back then as forms of craving...
    Trappist and ClearAsMud(Al) like this.
  5. Hi
    Glad to meet you here. And very welcome to join us in our journey to a healthy, fulfilling life without any self harming habits.

    It's a safe place here. We all are in the same boat, so there is no single space for judgement here.
    Maybe it's a good idea to keep a journal. Sharing your struggles, thoughts and feelings may help you to understand the underlying issues.

    Keep coming back and get the most effort out of nofap!
    You don't need to do it alone!

    Maybe the video here can help you a bit further.

    Let's go to work!
    A1exV likes this.
  6. A1exV

    A1exV Fapstronaut

    Thanks dude, what have been the best things about nofap for you so far? What got you started?
    I am keeping track of my day's achievements for weight training, intermittent fasting, meditation and now nofap too!
  7. Hey @A1exV ,

    I'm just a normal ordinary member. No moderator super powers and no special insite. I share my ESH (Experience, Strength and Hope) of what works for me.

    Just another warm welcome and a heart felt hello. This community has helped me so much.

    What worked for me was "working" it. It took hard work for me to complete a hard reboot (No pmo) for 120 days, then move into a Sex Positive mode.

    First, reading the literature published by NoFap itself along with reading journals.

    Then, doing the work. Writing in my journal and replying to introductions and other's journals.

    Finally, but not least, getting involved with the fellowship. I found it on the forums, but also in people's profiles. The forums tend to be longer posts, where the profiles tend to be more "conversational".

    That is what has worked for me. I like to remind myself that this community was here waiting for me with the lights on when I arrived. Now, I have to do my best to be there when someone comes to the community.

    * L

    PS: Say Hello to a few members. Just open their profile and say "hi" and introduce yourself. You'll find a great community. This is only a short list. There are many many more great people on here.

    @GeeWhizz Journals at:
    @julianstone Journals at
    @PatrickR Journals at:
    @HerculesStop Journals at:
    @zakes Journals at:
    @DavidGibson Journals at:
    Deleted Account and Trappist like this.
  8. A1exV

    A1exV Fapstronaut

    Hey thanks for the support. I'm curious, what does a 'sex positive mode' mean?
    Trappist likes this.
  9. Hey @A1exV ,

    After I completed a hard reboot, I wanted to find a "Sex Positive" life as expressed on the NoFap homepage:

    "NoFap® is a comprehensive sexual health platform.
    We’re here to help you quit porn, improve your relationships, and reach your sexual health goals. Science-based, secular, and sex-positive."

    After 120 days, I changed modes and reset my counter. Some only reset their counter when the relapse, I felt I wanted a way to keep track of my new goals. Here is the link to my 120 day hard reboot post that explains it:

    * L
  10. Protagoras

    Protagoras Fapstronaut

    Good description of how porn causes us to view women as objects. Glad you are here. HERE are some things helping me.

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