Attracting women 10 years older or younger.

Branchman

Branchman

Fapstronaut
Hi, I would like to read your opinions about this issue, since my dad has been distant and indifferent from me lately (my mother and dad divorced about 14 years ago, and I´ve been living with my mother and sister since then).

The issue is that I am having more connections with women around 10 years older and younger than me. I practice dance (in couple mode) wich implies physical contact and sometimes leads to the strengthen of relationships. And a woman came and I am dancing with her, she is nice (physically and as a person), I can say I have a good relationship with her as a friend, (but not intimate friend) and she is a single mother. I feel attracted to her while practicing dance, but my teachers tell me not to worry because we are just dancing, but while we are in classes she behaves too playful, or too affective as if we were close friends, and that confuses me, because I feel like seduced, the way she touches my hands, arms or the way she hugs me (she has even touched and held my face at least two times with her hands), of course I answer as she communicates with me, of course I enjoy it and also because I don´t want to be harsh with her. But I don´t want to get involved with her or bonded because she won´t get with me (and because I don´t want to have a romantic relationship or commitment with a women 10 years older than me and that has a kid), but her behaviour or while we are in classes makes me to feel a connection with her, confident with her (as she is with me), attracted to her (even excited). I don´t want to stop dancing, but I would rather dance with somebody of my age.

And I say I am having more connections with older and younger because most of the girls of my age feel (I am 27 years old) unreachable, they feel too empowered, or that they do not need men, so finding a worhty girl is difficult. Furthermore, I don´t even see so many girls my age as I used to when I was an student, now it seems they have disappeared or moved somewhere else.

So, what are your insights in this issue. Some friends have told me to take advantage of the situation but I am more traditional man.
 
Are you looking for a serious relationship? You are still young, you still have time to find the one. Men today get married in their thirties and there is no problem with that. If you are not looking for a relationship with a single mum who is 10y older then you just do not move further with her, if possible.

I would not date woman who is ten years older than me and has a kid, if you want my honest answer. That is a big age gap to make it work long term. Ten years younger is a different story, that might work. Men generally mature later than women, so younger girls are mentally closer to us than older women.

Are these dancing classes the only place where you meet women? How about school or workplace?
 
No, I am not actively looking for a serious relationship (less if she is that old), unless I get to know somebody around my age who is a candidate, I mean if the things fall in place then I might consider having a serious relationship, but I am not forcing the things to happen.

I know that a younger woman has more chance, but still ten years, I think it is too much difference.

I am not a student anymore (at least not for now), and in my workplace almost all are men (20), there are just 3 women, but no single young women.

There are other places (including dance related) in wich I sometimes find a girl of my age, but I haven´t established later communication with them, because I have preferred to keep dancing than hanging out with them. And I know, that those places (except church) it is just to have a good time in those moments, so that is why I usually don´t give or ask for contact information. And even in church it is difficult to find a girl of my age XD. My church has about 3,000 members and the young ladies that usually go to the meetings of the older young men, are just like 5 or 6.
 
I've been told that I can come across as a bit too direct when I write, so I apologize in advance if I seem insincere.

My advice is to focus on your financial goals, and the right person will come along. Also, don't feel limited—there are plenty of other churches and venues out there. I suggest looking for venues that emphasize helping others.

The world is full of possibilities, so keep being creative!
 
Thanks.

An update.

This woman, that was beeing too close and affective got engaged in a relationship with an older man (jaja XD) about 4 weeks ago. Wich she got it, through the "dance environment", I mean in that place. And they began going to the dance school that I go (of course, because she began going to that school because of me, she asked the teacher if she could dance with me). At least, I got free from her.

To be honest for the next few days or to weeks I felt uncomfortable beeing in the same place with her, and I think that was because we had kind of a relation (at least during class XD), I also felt used, I think she (I remind you that she is 10 years older than me) just "warmed me up". But fortunately, I never kissed her nor hanged out with her. Although I invited her to hang out one day, but thankfully she ignored and evaded that topic.
 
Branchman said:
Hi, I would like to read your opinions about this issue, since my dad has been distant and indifferent from me lately (my mother and dad divorced about 14 years ago, and I´ve been living with my mother and sister since then).

The issue is that I am having more connections with women around 10 years older and younger than me. I practice dance (in couple mode) wich implies physical contact and sometimes leads to the strengthen of relationships. And a woman came and I am dancing with her, she is nice (physically and as a person), I can say I have a good relationship with her as a friend, (but not intimate friend) and she is a single mother. I feel attracted to her while practicing dance, but my teachers tell me not to worry because we are just dancing, but while we are in classes she behaves too playful, or too affective as if we were close friends, and that confuses me, because I feel like seduced, the way she touches my hands, arms or the way she hugs me (she has even touched and held my face at least two times with her hands), of course I answer as she communicates with me, of course I enjoy it and also because I don´t want to be harsh with her. But I don´t want to get involved with her or bonded because she won´t get with me (and because I don´t want to have a romantic relationship or commitment with a women 10 years older than me and that has a kid), but her behaviour or while we are in classes makes me to feel a connection with her, confident with her (as she is with me), attracted to her (even excited). I don´t want to stop dancing, but I would rather dance with somebody of my age.

And I say I am having more connections with older and younger because most of the girls of my age feel (I am 27 years old) unreachable, they feel too empowered, or that they do not need men, so finding a worhty girl is difficult. Furthermore, I don´t even see so many girls my age as I used to when I was an student, now it seems they have disappeared or moved somewhere else.

So, what are your insights in this issue. Some friends have told me to take advantage of the situation but I am more traditional man.
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To be honest, it sounds to me like she was into you but that you were to timid or shy to do anything about it. If you ever feel confused in the future, assume attraction. Make some moves. Women want you to make moves on them. They will stop you if you go too far. Dont overthink. Open yourself up and prioritize having a good time. If she rejects you, you should be relieved because that saves you a ton of time. If she accept you, thats also a good outcome. You wont get stuck in a relationship. You enter the relationship open minded and set boundaries later.
 
Thanks.

I know that, as a man, I can move on, and if a woman doesn´t wants to go forward she is going to stop me, but I hadn´t realized that this also applies in this cases (thanks again). I´ve have done this, but in other cases panoramas.

Maybe she was into me, but I didn´t wanted (and still don´t want) a relationship with her.
 
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