Attraction & Motivation - 2 week streak of SR

Hi guys, after almost an year gap, I got a streak of 2 weeks and relapsed in last couple of days. "Relapsed" is a wrong word, I literally binged more than 5 times. I feel very shitty about myself right now.

I want to share stuff about this brief SR experience.

Attraction
It was last year when I was on 3 week streak of SR, some guys in 40s commented saying that I (25 yo) look great (Guys who are happily married with kids and appreciating me in "bro"-ish-way).

After that 1-year-old experience, around 7 day mark in my latest streak, a girl asked me to be her boyfriend. She was cute and all but I said no. wtf. Never in my life had such experience at all. Reason is I am from a very conservative background and I will 100% get married in traditional way. No loves or dating stuff.

Two days later, she asked for my number (indirectly asking me out) and I sensed what she was doing and politely gave dumb answer, the girl beside her opened up and told me straight that "hey! you do realize that she is asking for your NUMBER, you know what that means, right??" and I told her yes I know and once again politely told her to get my number from whatsapp group which we were in. She immediately said that I had two different numbers on whatsapp. I said I am active on both. Her friend was shocked because this girl already knew that I had two numbers but still asking my number. She felt completely weird. She actually teased that girl about the whole situation which made it less awkward.

Couple of days back, when all friends were there, this girl openly told everyone that I rejected her and I told everyone that I would have done the same for anyone as I want to be single and not interested in love or dating.

Motivation
I observed something amazing. Whenever I stay away from PMO, my productivity jumps. It happens more from 4-5 days mark. In 2 weeks of my streak, I spent more than 10 hours in library which never ever happened before. I actually enjoyed reading books and studying which is rare. I was also able to articulate things with a flow more easily.

Recent streak once again proved me that SR is the key to my career success. Although I have many goals and dreams, I always procrastinated and wasted my potential but on streak, I tend to waste less time and focus more on my productivity. One more thing I felt is while on streak, I am less restless. I can sit calm and patiently listen to anything and everything.

Brain fog started to lift around 5th day and I started being happier from 4th day onwards.