Attractiveness and Loneliness

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Kai101, Oct 20, 2018.

  1. Kai101

    Kai101 Fapstronaut

    I'm writing this to vent to someone. I've never had a girlfriend and Im 17. I've never kissed a girl, nothing. I've been told SO many times that I am super attractive etc. People are always surprised to find out I'm not some stud with the ladies. Yet I have never had anything close to a girlfriend.

    Almost every guy I meet is envious of me. They immediately put me down when I first meet them and I haven't even said a word. They don't let me near their girlfriends. I'm the butt of every joke. Yet girls always come to me and tell me I'm super cute or something. Then why do I feel like no one likes me?! All the gay guys adore me if that counts for something haha.

    I think it's because my self esteem is at rock bottom. I have depression as well as social anxiety. And I know everyone says that nowadays, so now I just feel like a "woe is me" type of person. I just got done texting this girl I really like, but she seems uninterested. She gave me her number, but never texted me and only gives short responses like she isnt interested. I asked her out over the summer, and she said "maybe", (never happened).

    I'm so tired of this loneliness. I've never had a best friend. I've never had a person i felt like i could trust. I've been backstabbed by people too many times to count. My "friends" are hanging out right now and conveniently left me out. Like always.

    I'm sorry if this seems like a pity party. I'm just sick and tired of this loneliness. I want someone who I can talk. I want to know that someone trusts me enough to reach out to me.
  2. tdotLotLJ

    tdotLotLJ Fapstronaut

    You are right -- loneliness is Difficult. But winners make the best of all situations.

    I'm confused -- social anxiety at 283 days of no pmo ?
    That would seem impossible -- you would be bulletproof & laugh at danger.
    Or maybe you are flatlining with no pmo -- which would be good.

    1. Okay, so give up on that one girl who gives you short answers. You actually have Millions of options for what you want: one special woman. Women are very human (poop, pee, have Bad breath, mucous discharge, b.o., etc.)
    2. Avoid "friends" who stab you in the back -- find healthier friends (with similar hobbies; integrity levels, etc.)
    3. This is a GOOD ONE -- PURSUE hobbies & interests you reeeaaaalllllyyy enjoy! (If they are expensive, then put photos around your room; if it's NASCAR..... volunteer as a pit crew member. You want to get into that positive, atmosphere that you were designed to enjoy ! Do what you can with what you have.
    4. During your normal everyday life............. if you come across a hygienic woman you may be interested in.....
    and who is checking you out too.....go say Hi... get phone number or email address ........ or possible hang-out asap...... and go on a fun Mini-date (5-15 minutes -- based on both of your schedules).
    5. Don't think I kissed a girl until I was 21 or 22 -- no biggee.

    So work on being a Good you....... Enjoy your hobbies....... Do no pmo (= daily increasing self-confidence [no shame]
    and quickly, lessening social anxiety -- or Quickly Increasing Confidence) ... and check out lassies as opportunities become available. You'll be fine.
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2018
  3. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

    If you can't respect yourself and treat yourself well, how can you expect some cutie to do that? This is something you can't fake obviously as they can smell desperation from miles away.
    Deleted Account and Kai101 like this.
  4. Hi bro, stop being hard on yourself. What you feel other people feel as well. If your cup is filled with nervousness, depression, anxiety, fear, shame etc nobody is going to want to drink from it. Good news is that you and I and everyone else here can change that. Reboot, reboot, reboot. No pmo let someone put in blockers in all your devices and pc and a lot of self improvement. Am rooting for you bro and am also in this journey of getting myself out pmo and into the best version of myself. From experience I know that once you stick to a life of self control you will gain that edge that will propel you to go and get what you want. All the best man. Keep fighting
    Frank201$ and Kai101 like this.
  5. CH3RRY

    CH3RRY Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    Wow, your life is pretty similar to mine. Just lately I've been getting a lot of attention from everywhere. Even a female teacher gave me a funny look when I took a glance at her. I have also noticed that guys sometimes take a look at me, but I don't want to think of it as them being jealous. I'm 18, and I don't have any experience yet either. I've came a long way from being a socially awkward, unattractive lowlife. Only thing holding me back from living my life currently is my size and mass. At the moment my life is only focused on me eating a shit ton of food and training hard. I'm not comfortable with my size and it makes me self conscious, finally I'm working hard to get rid of all this shit that has limited me from being who I really am.
    InvestingGuy and Kai101 like this.
  6. Andreid

    Andreid Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    Hey man, first of all, consider yourself that you are not going to use your attractive side to get a girl. You need confidence first of all, despite being good looking or ugly. I don't know you, but I see that you have some potential having 280+ days of no pmo.

    I suggest you looking for some videos about picking girls, but not in a douchy way. You can check How To Beast channel on YouTube because you will see a lot of quality advice about getting girls. This channel inspired me a lot.

    Don't worry though, you are just 17 so it's not a big deal. You have plenty of time man to improve a lot of aspects about yourself. But you need to change your attitude a little. Don't expect great results at the very beginning. That is the best thing about progress, because it takes a lot to be achieved.

    So work on yourself, get rid of that negative attitude and people will perceive you as a winner. Good luck!
    Kai101 likes this.
  7. AUTiger7222

    AUTiger7222 Fapstronaut

    Not all social anxiety is caused by porn use. Lots of people that have never watched porn have it.
    Kai101 likes this.
  8. AUTiger7222

    AUTiger7222 Fapstronaut

    Fake it until you make it. That is what my best friend is always saying and it works for her.
    Kai101 and Ra's Al Ghul like this.
  9. InvestingGuy

    InvestingGuy Fapstronaut

    Bro you are still young. My advice is set a goal to do better for your post secondary school. Start working out and gradually lift heavy weights to get a good physique. Go to malls and talk with random girls. Get a job and meet people there. Take up a hobby. Learn how to make money. I created a youtube channel on how to make money, check it out,it's called investing education.
    Andreid, Ra's Al Ghul and Kai101 like this.
  10. InvestingGuy

    InvestingGuy Fapstronaut

    Bro once you start consistently hitting the gym you will build a lean physique. Look at being big as an opportunity to build a bodybuilding physique. I'm a skinny guy and no matter how hard I try to put on size it doesn't work. I remember eating a large box of pizza in one meal for 2 days and staying the same weight. Just lift weights bro.
    Kai101 likes this.
  11. Kai101

    Kai101 Fapstronaut

    I do. I have a decent physique and some girls like my muscles

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