Avoid even the SMALLEST of TRIGGERS!!!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Conor101, Jan 6, 2017.

  1. Conor101

    Conor101 Fapstronaut

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    I was on day 7. I was going good. Hadn't fapped in 2017. God it felt amazing! And I wasn't even that horny. Nothing can go wrong now, right? WRONG!!!
    CAUTION FELLOW FAPSTRONAUTS!!!
    You must avoid even the SMALLEST of TRIGGERS!!!
    All I did was watch the video of 'Call on me' by Eric Prydz. Boom later I went looking for more and more. Though I didn't venture into porn per se, I went far enough to relapse.
    Feeling terrible. Trying not to lose heart, telling myself that I can still start over. Once I get to 2-3 days, I start feeling good enough to gain some momentum to go further. So I gotta somehow get to that mark. But even after, I must avoid even the SMALLEST of TRIGGERS!!!
     
  2. jdilla97

    jdilla97 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah man, i feel You. It's like snowball, bigger and bigger
     
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  3. danny_boy

    danny_boy Fapstronaut

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    I'm only on day 7 myself, but I know what you're saying totally. It's very difficult avoiding the little triggers like that. Let us know how you get on with your reboot, keep pushing to a personal best!
     
    Conor101 likes this.
  4. warriorforchrist

    warriorforchrist Fapstronaut

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    Yup that's sound advice to make sure all triggers are avoided and your posting will help many I expect as a warning. It's so easy just to get complacent and be caught off guard. You will get back on track and I guess another lesson along the way which we all seem to have to do. Keep going man and don't loose
    Heart
     
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  5. Conor101

    Conor101 Fapstronaut

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    You're right. I'm spending way too much time online. And I gotta cut it down significantly because my exams start in 2 days, while I'm here wasting time online. I think it has got more to do with self-sabotage and running away from the fact that I've so much to study, than the enticing internet itself. But yeah I must cut down on internet big time in the first place to actually face the problems at hand.
     
  6. warriorforchrist

    warriorforchrist Fapstronaut

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    I wonder if the porn temptations would be greatly reduced if many of us had more on line discipline. It is so easy to get triggered online by accident. If online activity was replaced by healthy activity such as exercise, being outside, reading a book, study, hobby etc then many people would be helped instantly. I've definitely reduced my browsing but can still sometimes catch myself just wasting time. Social media may be amongst the worst. Never mind PMO, so many people are simply addicted to being online.
     
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  7. danny_boy

    danny_boy Fapstronaut

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    It's so true man, part of this whole thing for me is replacing time wasted on Facebook, Instagram, etc. (as well as porn obviously) with much more worthwhile things!
     
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  8. warriorforchrist

    warriorforchrist Fapstronaut

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    Yup thats great. I do think too that there is a price to pay for progress in the battle against PMO and that might mean starving self of online activity even just for a season. Whatever it takes...
     
  9. Ad4gio

    Ad4gio Fapstronaut

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    Doing what you can to minimize triggers is helpful in the beginning, but you can't do it forever. You have to live your life - and with that life the triggers are going to come at the least expected times.

    Living in fear of your triggers is exactly that - fear - it is running away - it is avoidance, which is a vicious cycle. Eventually you will have to be able to face your triggers boldly - to be able to step back, take a deep breath, and be rational about it - say to yourself out loud (or "out loud" in your head) exactly what's going on . . . why your default response is unhealthy . . . what your true values are . . . and what you want your new response to be.

    You are not powerless in the face of your triggers, big or small.
     
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  10. warriorforchrist

    warriorforchrist Fapstronaut

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    Yup, this is true, which I why I suggested measures like limited computer use, for a season. Trying to do this, using blockers etc worked for me and has enabled me to stand free from P addiction and even temptation to go there. In the meantime its important to strengthen your defences, will and ability to make good choices. In our home we have an upstairs and this is dangerous for a small child. We have a stair gate to use when a small child is in the house. It is a boundary to keep the child safe. As the child gets understanding and can exercise choice through this understanding it can keep itself out of danger and the gate is not necessary and can be removed. Having said that, I see no sense in removing my blockers, ever, and it provides me safety and still think this provides an opportunity for massive permanent lifestyle change i.e.: less wasted time on line. However we are all different and need to find what works for us
     
  11. F50C137YZ

    F50C137YZ Fapstronaut

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    I made it to 61 days recently and relapsed. Ad4gio is 100% correct IMO. Avoidance is not the answer. Triggers are everywhere.

    If you try with all of your might to avoid triggers, you will never learn how to deal with yourself when they come up. You have to learn that anything other than stimulus from another human being that wants to have sex with you is false arousal. You have to create thoughts in your mind that stop the arousal.

    For instance, when I become aroused by something online, I say, "I'm just a guy, sitting alone on his computer. This is not real, there is no woman sitting in front of me with sexy eyes right now." Then proceed to purposefully close said tab or web page.

    This is what Ad4gio means. You have to actually THINK. Send the blood to your brain when you get into false arousal mode. If you are by yourself, talking out loud is even better than just thinking it.

    Every time that you want to go look at a Porn site, substitute something in it's place. I tend to either make my way here or read a book or watch a movie or go out to the local coffee shop or something. Try not to revert to the exact same thing every time, as Nofap forum could be down or you could have finished your book, or the coffee shop could be closed. Always have other things to do.

    If you constantly run away, you will never build up will power. If you see a sex scene in a movie, you won't be prepared for it. It will catch you off guard and you will most likely relapse. I'm not saying to seek anything out. I'm saying that the avoidance mentality will actually do you more harm than good.
     
  12. Gee1

    Gee1 Fapstronaut

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    I read your thread , was stupid enough to watch that video , and relapsed
     
  13. Conor101

    Conor101 Fapstronaut

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    OMG! I'm sorry but this cracked me me up. But hey I did mention I myself relapsed due to that video, and the title of the post says avoid all triggers. Sorry again.
    How long was your streak?
    Stay strong okay. Don't beat yourself up. And don't go ahead and watch more P. Get out, breathe some fresh air or talk to friends or watch a movie or even better sleep it off if you can. That gives me a sense of fresh start.
    Good luck
     
  14. Fork2323

    Fork2323 Fapstronaut

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    My porn blocker also has internet time constraints and I set it to turn off all internet access at 10pm to 9am so i can get up and pray and meditate instead of wasting time. At night is when im the most vonerable to slip with porn-subs.. youtube, instagram, etc. So all social media aps automaticly get shut down on my phone too at 10pm. I still have access to check my email on my phone the nofap.com i put in safe mode. I also keep up driving aps, calculater, etc.. but no internet browsing, news, social media aps at all.. too slippery late at night when my defenses are down..
     
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  15. Fork2323

    Fork2323 Fapstronaut

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    A positive lust clearing practice ive learned to incorporate really helps me out.. Once or twice a week I write down in blue ink in a blue notebook every sexy lustful image ive seen, no matter how small. That scene in a movie or tv show, cute girl walking across street, that sexy billboard, etc, and all my scetchy actions too. All these images are no big deal, but after a week they all snowball together to lus full Get Some attitude. So i take them all out of my head and onto a sheet of paper, then I say a prayer and ask my Higher Power to remove them, take them away from me and replace them with what he wants for me instead. I sit and meditate and give them all away. Then i write this prayer out too and what i think he would have me do or focus on instead.. This really Works!

    Ive found that just as i need to take a shower, or after a few days I start to stink, or if i dont brush my teeth, i get bad breath.. i need to regularly clean out my head of all the lust hits or i will MO. I need mental hygene too!
     
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  16. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    Small triggers are very hard to avoid... especially when a real female your attracted to is walking down the street in front of you . You have to "fight" the urge in your mind... it can be done .
     
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  17. Jarin

    Jarin Fapstronaut

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    Yeah man, that video is quiet possibly the most erotic thing I have ever seen. Stay away.
     
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  18. Jarin

    Jarin Fapstronaut

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    Often times when I am triggered it feels almost like I am on fire. Like my whole body wants to relapse. For years and years I immediately gave in to that feeling. I never even tried to learn to control it. So right now I am not going out of my way to avoid triggers but I am trying to be an adult and fight those urges when they arrive.
     
  19. danny_boy

    danny_boy Fapstronaut

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    What helps me is thinking about the pride and satisfaction I feel when I manage to fight them :)
     
    Conor101 likes this.
  20. warriorforchrist

    warriorforchrist Fapstronaut

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    Yup. Victory is sweet, and so encouraging.
     

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