Baby #2 on the way!

Currently got a 2yo, who is due to be a big brother next April - all going well.

We weren't really trying seriously. We knew we wanted a second child, but not sure when. We just were enjoying sex and seeing what happened. Not like last time, when sex sometimes was just plain exhausting.

I feel like this shows two things:

• The renewed intimacy we've had since I've been working on this since June. Yes, I've had resets and relapses but overall we have been much closer.
• The actual sex is better - erections even when I've not felt horny, sometimes with orgasm and sometimes without, but always lasting longer than before.

But I need to be really really careful now...

Unfortunately I relapsed last week. Started dreaming of clothes, looked some up, saved items on marketplace and then watched porn late at night. I then PMO'd the next morning, which was rhe first time since late April.

I was basically feeling sorry for myself and looking for some attention.

Long story short, I now have really long days between looking after my wife, toddler and doing my postgrad. This means we naturally lose intimacy and I start feeling lonely and exhausted.

And it's really early days. It's going to be months before we meet baby #2, and then another few months before she will even contemplate sex.

So i think my journey has now shifted...

From just kinda doing my best to see what happens and how it effects me and her, to a more determined sacrificial waiting game with no end in sight! Bit scared if I'm honest.

I'll be learning about self control for reasons other than the immediate "sex is better". And I will be learning about other ways of dealing with temptations and desires, and feelings of exhaustion and loneliness. I'll not be orgasming for a long long time, so that will be new. I've just been doing no porn and no masturbation.

It's a long journey ahead.

But bring. It. On.

But because I'm a scaredy-cat, I'll probably just take one day at a time!
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