BABY STEPS. Better to quit PORN before quitting MASTERBATION?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by boyrose, Oct 12, 2021.

  1. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    Baby steps.

    How does this sound? Starting In the next few days and going until January 1st (so 100 days or so) I will no longer use porn,etc, but I can keep on masterbating with my imagination. So first step, I’ll be getting better control over no more porn.

    And then come January 1st, NEXT STEP, I also have to start slowly limiting how much I masterbate. Maybe for the first month (january), I masterbate every other day, then February, I masterbate every 3rd day, etc. And maybe come spring, thats when I attempt no PMO period.

    This is just a basic blueprint, but what do you think? Is this the right idea?
     
  2. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
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    This part is the major problem with your plan IMO. Obviously, for years you have used porn videos to make your orgasms as pleasurable as possible. So, stopping porn is good. However, if you masturbate using your imagination, what will you generate in your mind? Basically, porn-like scenarios.

    If you go with this plan, consider not using your imagination when you masturbate. Get naked, and focus on the body sensations you feel. Obviously, your penis will have pleasure you will feel strongly. But find out which other parts of your body get you horny.
     
    Beekind likes this.
  3. MindfulWarrior

    MindfulWarrior Fapstronaut

    That's good, porn is the main issue in this addiction, and depending on the degree of use you've had in the past I think it can definitely be a good idea to taper off.

    You gotta be careful of not slowly going back to porn though, like "Oh I'll just use a picture" etc. Then you find yourself on porn again. So stick to the plan to a tee. And I agree with @IGY to some extent, although it's already so much better to use imagination instead of porn, if you can focus on bodily sensation, not only you'll have a very different experience, more grounded, but also the ties to porn are weakened even more.

    Good luck!
     
  4. its not good bro but i appreciate your efforts . first the frequency doesn't matter only what matter is you are still using that neural pathway. So complete avoidance is necessary for the rewire
     
    Beekind likes this.
  5. Masturbation is a cope just like porn, but it is easier to take or leave. It can also help you reclaim your ability to fantasize, something porn blots out. Scheduling it the way you describe doesn’t make any sense to me, but giving up porn is more important than giving up both porn and masturbation. Unless you are interested in total celibacy or you have regular access to women (and maybe not even then) giving up masturbation doesn’t make any sense to me.
     
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  6. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
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    How you organize your recovery is your choice, of course. I would encourage you to masturbate much less frequently than what you have described here. Whatever you do, you have to understand that the addiction is to flooding your brain with dopamine from sexual stimuli. It is not porn or masturbation per se. that makes this an addiction. It is your brain craving releases of dopamine from sexual cues. So, masturbation is part of the addictive cycle you are stuck in right now.
     
  7. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
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    Good point, well made. :)
     
  8. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    It's better than nothing or to PMO. Just like the heroin recovery addict replaces it with methadone, it's still an opiod but it's not heroin
     
  9. ElderStatesman

    ElderStatesman Fapstronaut

    Well, others may disagree (and this may be seen as a strange statement to make on a forum called NoFap) but masturbation isn’t a problem, at least not in the frequency you’re describing.

    The problem is porn addiction. Focus on that. Sounds like you’re on the right track.
     
    icebreaker polarstern likes this.
  10. WelcomeToReality

    WelcomeToReality Fapstronaut

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    Well technically yes. But who masturbates without using imaginations. If you flash in memory anything from porn , then you arouse same neurons that needed to be desensitized.
    If you truly can masturbate without any imagination related to porn. Then it might be not related to porn addiction.

    Anyway while porn is a big problem, masturbation either not giving any positive outcome. Don't masturbate , rather find pussy and stick it here while holding her ass and kissing her lips in a loving way. After masturbation you lose drive for sex and for love, so by telling I want mastrubate it's like telling I don't want pussy, and I don't want kiss and love woman.
     
  11. approachingrelevance

    approachingrelevance Fapstronaut

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    If you want to start with masturbation, just know you're going to later have to stop full pmo to fully flush the system. Starting with something before then cutting off the full cycle sounds like a good plan. What seems important is that you flush your brain off the whole pathways. Maybe do this and then if you feel up to it, do a full pmo fast for good measure.
     
  12. MindPrograms

    MindPrograms Fapstronaut

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    It's like going in water at a beach, you can take it slowly, feel the consistent cold inch by inch, or you can jump in at once freeze for a short amount of time but then get used to your new reality. Keep in mind if you get out of the sea, dry and try to re-enter, the same process starts, however, this time you may consciously make better decisions from your previous experience to jump in all at once be over with it quickly.
     
  13. Addictus

    Addictus Fapstronaut

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    Both or nothing. Based on experience.
     
  14. Beekind

    Beekind Fapstronaut

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    It doesn't work.
    You have to suffer. There is no way around it.
    Cutting it completely will strengthen your core.
    You will become truly self reliant. No need for pleasure to regulate your emotions.
    Pleasure is the icing on the cake, not the cake.

    The only approach that works is to start on no pmo and fail and fail and fail and then fail some more.... and one day , you will be able to claim freedom.
     
    Buddhism Is True likes this.
  15. JoeinUSA

    JoeinUSA Fapstronaut

    Because P and MO are so strongly associated, I imagine it might be difficult, but like others have said, it's better to make some progress if you can than nothing at all. However, it also seems like your plan is too far stretched out in advance before you could even start to make any headway of no-PMO, if that is your ultimate goal. What happens if you relapse with P one or more times before New Years, and/or later MO with too much frequently, does you whole 5- or 6-month forecasted plan get skewed? Do you keep pushing the dates forward? Does it all become one general mess? Do you ever really get a chance to recover and live PMO free? That's my concern. By working so gradually to get rid of P and MO, when do you ever come to really abhor these addictions, which is often the force needed to overcome these behaviors and replace them with something better.
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  16. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    Is it a fair statement to say that before any progress can really be made, have have to understand most of my triggers to the point where I can write them down?
     
  17. GodWithin

    GodWithin Fapstronaut

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    Good luck. You won't last long like that.
     
  18. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    Alright. I know you guys are right. Going full swing into pmo.
     
  19. MindfulWarrior

    MindfulWarrior Fapstronaut

    The reason I was telling you this was a good idea is because I understood from what you wrote that the frequency at which you were using was high, so if you were to go all in, you might end up relapsing forever and bingeing every time you do, to the point where it becomes frustrating and dis-empowering. There are people who made it by cutting porn only (not me). Going full PMO if you make it will give you better results faster though and it might work so try it, but whatever you do, try not listening to people too much, because most people haven't solved the problem themselves, you have to make your own choices and learn your own lessons so you can adjust the way you attack your own personal problem. Anyway, try hard and don't stop trying until you find the write key! :)
     

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