Baby Steps to a better life !! ( A journal )

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Hey guys, 23 y'o fapstranaut (Male) here,

ugh, kinda shamed to find out that i am addicted to porn. i thought i could handle it but then qurantine hit me and realised it has a dark side to it. been watching porn since i was 14 years never bothered me much, TBH i enjoyed it.

but recently only thing i do is go online and jerk off to Holly Michaels on my bed. ohh god that's so sick, such a big loser i am. never had a girlfriend, had opportunities but none of them were my type, i guess that's why i got this habit, for being picky.

well the problem now is, once i masturbate i'm not satisfied with the feeling, sometimes i have to org*sm upto 4 to 5 times to get the same kick. i didn't know if that was even possible, before this, i would orgasm once and that was it, but now it's never ending. Anyways, feels like i am damaging myself physically and mentally a lot lately and i hope i get rid of this sickness.

i am experiencing brain fog, low confidence, procrastinating. i used to be physically fit but now i feel low and weak all the time.

Starting 90 day HARD MODE, Wish me luck and sorry if i bored you.

Have a Good Day.
 
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Welcome to NoFap! It's great that you've identified your problem and decided to take action.
SaintShadow said:
kinda shamed to find out that i am addicted to porn
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Don't be. A lot of people are addicted but they don't want to accept it.
SaintShadow said:
never had a girlfriend, had opportunities but none of them were my type, i guess that's why i got this habit, for being picky.
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It's OK to be a bit picky but don't have unrealistic expectations cuz that's only gonna make you feel terrible. Maybe it's the other way around. Maybe the habit gave you these unrealistic expectations.
SaintShadow said:
Starting 90 day HARD MODE, Wish me luck and sorry if i bored you.
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Good luck my friend. Just one thing. Never doubt the decision you made. Never give up. Your condition will get better slowly but surely.
 
Okay guys, the sun has set and the night has begun, got some urges in my day today but i knocked them out of the park by distracting my mind and also observing those thoughts and then realizing that it's not good to act upon them.

Thoughts certainly did fade away, it was very uncomfortable for a moment but when i observed them, they were gone.

i hope i don't get any urges tonight because it's obviously hard to control when everyone is asleep and you are alone in your room in silence with full high speed internet and access to all kinds of digital devices,

Not gonna put my devices into another room though because i think i can handle it, slightly scared but i am also pretty ambitious to complete my 90 day hard mode and experience all the good things that are on my way in the long run.

Wish me luck, and thank you very much for being here.
 
Hello fapstraunauts, last night was scary, i had a dream that i broke my streak watching porn. which is very weird.

Not just that, the dream was actually very dramatic, i felt that i was in no control of my body and was being forced to masturbate by my own self, To be honest i felt that, that person in the dream was extremely selfish and will never suceed in life. He will always run from work and responsibilities and I S e r i o u s l y never in my life wanna be that guy.

ohh my g.. i was so glad when i woke up and it was just a dream

anyways three days now, feeling good already and slightly motivated.

hey also, you guys are welcome to share in this thread, i would be honored.

Thank you.
 
okay it's been 4 days since i started hard mode, and the urges to masturbate are getting stronger, i am remembering provocative sexual scenes from Porn videos i have watched in the past, the scenes are coming back to me in my imagination, this is making me want to go back;

yesterday was amazing, i was feeling good but today i think the urges are slightly stronger. i am still observing them and reading them and not giving them any power to grow on me, but today they are more frequent.

I need to push.

Thank you !
 
Ohh Daily log...

Urges are definitely getting stronger, i randomly get flashed with these images in my head which are extremely arousing, sometimes it's very attractive, but i know that it is not real and in order to get that i am going to need to work on myself and grow as a person, watching porn will not provide me that and it will just be a quick gratification which is no good.

i know by not giving into these temptations i am doing good for myself in the long run,

i have noticed that my willpower has been better these days, i mean i can get stuff done more effortlessly, i don't procrastinate as much... last night i started catching up with my meditation course which i was ignoring for a long time now.

all and all things are good.

*cheers* To my future.

if you are reading this, hang in there and don't give in, good things are waiting for you.

if you are more experienced than me, please give me advises and tips, i would be very thankful to you.
 
Bilal Jaleel0321 said:
Keep it up man
i know it is really hard to resist from urges and I am also in this phase myself
but if we resist now it will be easier for us later on in life
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Thank you very much !!
Bilal Jaleel0321 said:
i know it is really hard to resist from urges
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likewise
Bilal Jaleel0321 said:
but if we resist now it will be easier for us later on in life
Click to expand...
Welcome to my journal buddy, you are welcome to share here and thank you again.
 
ohhkay; let's talk about me now,

so i own a sportsbike and i am a rider in my real life, today i was washing it..

what happend is after cleaning i took it inside the garage and parked it on the paddock stand, which is separate from the bike,
as i polished and buffed it-it started getting dark and i thought i should take it outside and wax it in the light so i could see better;

now at that moment i fucked up; i forgot to engage the side stand of my bike and simply took off the paddock stand and it- F E L L -straight on the ground; it was painful man it was simply painful; i remember there was screaming in my head; my entire day is ruined due to this, the gear shift lever was bent, i fixed it with a wrench so i could shift gears but it's not new anymore; the handle bar also took a hit and i am afraid of any hairline fractures into the handle bar;

anyways this is almost it, my entire day was going good, but this kinda ruined it a bit.

Umm, very less urges today because i woke up and decided to catch up with my psychology lessons today, don't know how, it just came to me. then i watched a movie (and before you say it, nope it wasn't PORN), i watched "The Outpost" awesome movie, and then i was washing my bike, So that's how i didn't get much urges.

i am so thankful to myself that i have started this Nofap thing and it is just doing good and good with me, i hope i achieve my goals and stay determined towards them.

Thank you very much,
 
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Hello guys, wow today was a busy day...

I took lectures of my psychology lessons which was good, after that i studied about linkedin and realised that it would be a good platform for me so i made an account and personalised it. I also enrolled myself into a new course which would be very beneficial for me and my future. i am hoping to complete it day by day.

Apart from my career i took initiative to build a New Shower/bathroom in my house, the one we use now is pretty fucked up and very small; like extremely small, i am good in DIY so i thought to myself let's sort out this problem, broke down a wall today, damn it takes muscle to do that, felt like MAN after a long time now, it was awesome, had so much fun smashing down that wall.

ohh Speaking of career, I GOT a JOB today, that call was probably the best thing happened to me in a long time, i was so frustrated with this pandemic bullshit, today they called me and i was like, hell yeah i wanna join, Ohh my god probably the best day i've ever had.

Absolutely NO urges today, No images of S*X in my head, No temptations, Nothing, Nada, About to be a Week of NoFap and i have only achieved good.

Last couple days have been productive, Proud of myself and you guys for supporting me.

Thank you very MUCH !!
 
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