Back after 5 years

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by fapachino, Jul 30, 2020.

  1. Hi guys.

    Well I had a really successful reboot 5 years ago (see here https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...eclaration-of-independence.35288/#post-218664) but old habits slipped back in the and I've got myself in a bad way again with anxiety and depression. I'm now 7 days nofap bad feeling rough, tired, on the edge, sweaty, shivery and while I'm not suicidal (today at least) getting hit by a bus would be a relief at the moment.

    Just wanted to drop back in the again, say hi and ask for a bit of support and encouragement to get through these tough days. I know you that better times are ahead but damn it's hard at the moment! Reading what I wrote after 90 days nofap in that link I put above gives me hope but doesn't change the fact I feel like death warmed up at the moment. What a fucking idiots for getting in this state again.

    Anyway, cheers lads
     
    engelman, Candun and OUO like this.
  2. OUO

    OUO Fapstronaut

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    Welcome back!
     
    fapachino likes this.
  3. Thanks. Would rather not be back but there you go! At least I'm doing something about it again. Hoping I can have as much much or even more success than I had last time.

    It's a funny thing, you think you can handle it but man does it come back and fucking bite you hard in the ass! PMO is never a friend no matter what it whispered in your ear!
     
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  4. Timecop

    Timecop Fapstronaut

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    I have the same story has you. I had my best streak 5 years ago ( from May to early August ) at 83 days and relapsed for various reasons.

    I haven't used this account in 5 years until recently. I realized that it does help to speak with others.

    Welcome back.
     
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  5. kuijkuij

    kuijkuij Fapstronaut

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    Just restart from building healthy lifestyle. It may make you feel better. Come on! We can do this!
     
    fapachino likes this.
  6. Kazuhira_Miller

    Kazuhira_Miller New Fapstronaut

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    Welcome back! I also just restarted my recovery after being gone from Nofap for awhile.
     
  7. Thanks guys, appreciate the support. That's me at 8 days now and not really had any urges. Still feel terrible in terms of my mental health and feel like I have have mild flu, shakes, shivering, headache, tired etc but maybe not as bad as a few days ago. I tend to find I'm worse in the morning and feel a bit better in the evening.
     
  8. Guys I feel so hopeless! Day 8 today and feel like I'll never be happy again, I'd happily fall asleep and never wake up again. Need some encouragement that this will be OK and won't take too long
     
  9. Candun

    Candun Fapstronaut

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    I'm sure you felt this way before and thought you couldn't do it and before you knew it, BAM 90 days. You can do it again.
     
    fapachino likes this.
  10. Yeah I sort of know that's the case but am struggling at the moment to feel it. At the end of the day I just need to exist through each day at the moment and it will hopefully improve soon.
     
    Candun likes this.
  11. Been doing a bit more reading and research about withdrawal symptoms and came across this page https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/reb...oes-withdrawal-from-porn-addiction-look-like/

    Some very good information on it and there is a video that is very helpful. Parts of the video just completely describe what I'm going through at the moment. It's good to hear others describe what I'm experiencing as a pretty standard part of the process. I also want to encourage other guys who have these intense withdrawals that it sounds pretty standard. Currently I am dog tired, have a headache a lot of the day and feel depressed and anxious. I vaguely remember the start of my successful reboot 5 years ago was brutal but as the brain tends to do I have to think I've kind of blocked out the worst memories.

    That's another reason I'm putting things down here. So that (God forbid!) I ever get myself back into this situation I can have something to look back on and help me to know that the pain is part of the process. That is a really fundamental point I think. The pain could be viewed as a penance for the abuse that I have committed against my brain or it could be viewed as sort of like pain of a rebirth. Regardless if I, and possibly others, want to get through and to the better other side it's just a case of taking one day at a time and putting up with the withdrawals.

    I'll try and write details here as days go on as to how things develop and change (improve hopefully!) and feel free to ask any questions if you'd like to know anything.
     
    Candun likes this.
  12. kuijkuij

    kuijkuij Fapstronaut

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    Usually they (those diseases) work like this. You could try go to bed early and get up early. I sleep at 10 p.m. and wake up at 6 a.m. these day. It takes days to become effective but it works very well. My headache got worse at the first day but now I feel much better and energetic. My headache and rhinitis almost disappear after 9 a.m. now. Before it I suffered from them the whole day.
     
    fapachino likes this.
  13. engelman

    engelman Fapstronaut

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    5 years ago I was able to make it up to more than 5 months without PMO. Now I'm about to achieve 8 f*** months!!! (with a minor 5min slip in the middle).

    Welcome back. You're not at square one. Read and refresh everything you already learned years ago ... and read new material about the topic. Keep a positive mindset and you will end up doing better!
     
    Freeddom_Taker and fapachino like this.
  14. Thanks guys. I felt not too bad when I woke up this morning but feel terrible now. Not energy, just want to lay on the couch and dose, shakes, sweats, headache, brains fog. On day 9 at the moment, not sure how much longer I can handle this
     
  15. Day 10 today and feeling rough this morning. Had some minor urges in bed this morning for relief but didn't, and won't, follow through on it. Anxiety is high but it's like that a lot of the time and especially in the morning at the moment. Really want to feel a little better, this is so tiring. I'm going away with my kids to see my sister for a few days tomorrow so hopefully a change of scene and other people about will lift me. Still feel like I'm coming off crack though!
     
  16. Depressed&Out

    Depressed&Out Fapstronaut

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    I recently relapsed after 3 years no PMO. Following the ejaculation, I instantly felt sick and suicidal plus other few symptoms. I was psychologically fucked as PMO is now linked with a severe negative in our minds. Not necessarily because PMO itself causes you to be suicidal and sick. It's simply the memory by association that is at work here.

    Anyway, how was you sex life/erection quality during those 5 years? Did you have much sex before you did NoFAP?
     
  17. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

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    It's ridiculous isn't it? Most "normal" people would think we're crazy to say porn could do this to someone but I was going through the same things before I knew that withdrawals were even a thing. Sometimes I just have to lie down and do nothing, not sleep, literally just lie there for upwards of an hour when it's really bad just to regain some form of control.
     
    fapachino likes this.
  18. How long did you feel like that for? Not sure how much longer I can handle it!
     
  19. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

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    I've only made it through that stage once and it lasted 2-3 weeks, it always starts at around day 7-10 for me. Longest streak I had was two months but I didn't really feel better than before I started, just kind of meh but hopefully I'll make it as long as you did and the positive feelings will kick in later on.
     
    fapachino likes this.
  20. Thanks. I'm hoping it doesn't last too much longer for me. I felt a bit more positive earlier this morning but I'm feeling like crap again!
     

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