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Back at square one

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by cud, Dec 5, 2016.

  1. Dec 5, 2016 #1
    cud

    cud Fapstronaut

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    My dear friends,

    it has been while since I was here last time. And as I have been desperate lately, I need to confess and share my story, I feel this could help me.

    Since October 2015 I started (seriously first time in my life with NOFAP - previously I had some good steaks but no longer than few weeks) and had more like half a year. Then on a wedding of my friend in August I get drunk and the other day I had hangover as shit... so I went for PMO. From that time I am not able to make any good number of days without it.

    It wouldnt be bad but I it gets worse and worse and lately I cannot go more than 2days or so. And it wouldnt bother me at all if there were no consequences. And those are huge.

    I again fall down to depresses, my whole time schedule and life goals dissapeared and I am kind of not able to hop back on the wagon. I had nightmares again, at 3am I woke up and think about my life, how I screwed up, how my ex (it has been almost 2 years) was cheating on me, then I fall asleep at 6am and not able to wake up again - cause everything seems useless for me.

    I recognize I go for PMO when I have hangover. Then I go for it and afterwards the feel of shame comes in and other few days suck.

    In nuttshell - obviously I know how to overcome this thing, i have done it once - but It is back and I cannot hop back in the track. I told you, few months ago, I had strict schedule of my life, i saw my goals pretty clear and everything went just fine - but now, i dont see any of those and feel like my life is a misery again.

    Any thoughts?
     
    cud, Dec 5, 2016
    cud, Dec 5, 2016
    #1
  2. Dec 5, 2016 #2
    recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    Dont know what to advice as i havent been on a big streak myself. but i've been on a big streak of exercise with is a month now.
    what helps is thoughts. like i just think to do exercise and let it pester me. then thoughts become words and words become actions.

    n if i get bored when doing exercise i play some music and work out.
     
    recoome, Dec 5, 2016
    recoome, Dec 5, 2016
    #2
  3. Dec 5, 2016 #3
    JayD19

    JayD19 Fapstronaut

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    First of all, you made it to half a year that's a big achievement. Nofap is quite tough. I've had so many failed streaks and finally I'm on Day 104. Even today, it feels like I'll fail. I've now become okay with the uncertainty.

    One thing that helps is averaging:
    If you do not have two many long streaks, have you measured how many times you've PMO'ed. If you can't make it to say 30 days, PMOing 4 times in 30 days is not bad either. It's better than PMO'ed every day.

    You'll feel like a lot of progress is made if you've averaged less than 4 times in 30 days. Try doing a count of that- you'll feel better.
     
    JayD19, Dec 5, 2016
    JayD19, Dec 5, 2016
    #3
    cud likes this.
  4. Dec 5, 2016 #4
    tattleen7

    tattleen7 Guest

    It Happens I Relapsed On The Verge Of My 30 Day Streak Just 2 hours were left for me to hit that mark but ...

    What You Gotta Do Is Change Your Way Of Thinking.Practice Positive Thoughts.Work On Yourself,Make Some Friends,Do Some Exercise And Take Up A New Hobby.Whenever You Feel The Urge To PMO Drink A Glass Of Water And Go For A Walk,Start Listening To Songs,Turn On The Tv,Perform Some Pushups.Slowly You Will Get Used To Pushing The Urges Down.First Week Is Hard (First 4 Days Even More) If You Cross The 3 Day Barrier Then You Can Make That Streak As Long As Your Will Power Goes Trust Me.Just Keep Yourself Busy You Can Get Out of This Hell Just Gotta Believe In Yourself
     
    tattleen7, Dec 5, 2016
    tattleen7, Dec 5, 2016
    #4
    cud likes this.
  5. Dec 5, 2016 #5
    cud

    cud Fapstronaut

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    Man the thing is, it is not the number that brings me down - although when I go for PMO in a day I do it more than twice..

    the thing is that I literally have less energy, i am lethargic, in agony...just lying in my bed, having fear going outside...while not long ago I was walking beast. Looking at girls eyes on the street with no feel of shame...and these days I wish I wouldnt exist. I also played guitar and these days it seems useless, but in the end of the day PMO seems like only thing that can help feel a little bit better. I lost hope, lost faith..well hopefully it is just a epizode of life...

    I kind of know what to do but I have been doing it for long time with no evidence of progress..or at least that is what i feel.
     
    cud, Dec 5, 2016
    cud, Dec 5, 2016
    #5
  6. Dec 5, 2016 #6
    JayD19

    JayD19 Fapstronaut

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    I agree it does seem pointless at times. I just keep myself busy - I'm writing a lot and making money off it part-time. You need some kind of a hobby to keep you busy.
     
    JayD19, Dec 5, 2016
    JayD19, Dec 5, 2016
    #6
  7. Dec 7, 2016 #7
    tattleen7

    tattleen7 Guest

    The Solution is NoFap after a week you feel to have more energy girls start to flirt with you you get glow on your face but you gotta do it clean no touching no porn no edging no hot videos etc when you do it for a quite long time like streaks of 10+ days 2 times in a row you will feel the difference yourself
     
    tattleen7, Dec 7, 2016
    tattleen7, Dec 7, 2016
    #7
  8. Dec 7, 2016 #8
    Mike20177

    Mike20177 New Fapstronaut

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    There is a doctor who is supporting the NoFap. Check it out:



     
    Mike20177, Dec 7, 2016
    Mike20177, Dec 7, 2016
    #8

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