Back in at square one….

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Andy Dufresne, Jan 23, 2020.

  1. Andy Dufresne

    Andy Dufresne Fapstronaut


    I’m going to give this another go. I joined NoFap nearly a year ago as I realised porn and bad habits were preventing me from being the person I was born to be.

    I stopped coming on here once I got back into work (just didn’t have enough private time, and perhaps felt it was no longer necessary).

    I’ve done a decent job of staying away from porn since then, albeit it’s slowly and surely grown back. The blockers had some effect (on my phone I blocked every website I could think of, turned on safe mode and then arranged so that I couldn’t unlock the changes – I also made it very difficult to access porn by the laptop).

    Alas, there’s always a way. I have substituted in reddit forums and twitter (loads of smut on there) and can no longer ‘block’ these websites. Willpower on its own doesn’t seem to be working.

    Yesterday I woke up late (supposed to be working from home in my new job) and struggled to get motivated, having had much planned. In the space of a few minutes I descended into a hole of misery, opening up tmy personal laptop (no longer blocking porn as on a different network and someone would notice me changing it) and underwent an all-day binge.

    I know where this will end. I can’t go there again.

    I don’t know if I can beat this, but I definitely can’t on my own.

    So I’m here in case anyone has any advice or just for moral support. I don't know if I can log on every day but will try and offer support wherever I can
    Jefe Rojo likes this.
  2. PraiseTheSun

    PraiseTheSun Fapstronaut

    Hello Andy,

    Know that the way you are feeling right now is normal and that is not your usual self. It is just induced by a chemical mixture in you brain induced by porn.

    What might seem real or an ultimate truth right now, once you wake up it will not seem so anymore.

    You relapsed, so what, it happens. The best thing you can do now is to quickly write a journal entry to see what you believe triggered it, what exact actions and circumstances led to it an so on. I will help when you read it with clear mind after at least 2 to 3 days, IF you decide to put the relapse in the past once you have written the journal entry and keep on going with NoFap like nothing happen. The journal entry will help you challenge some of the factors that led to the relapse.

    When you feel the urge again, be happy, for that is an opportunity to rewire your brain by resisting it.

    Also, porn blockers i believe do more harm then good, they make porn to me even more forbidden then it already feels, and i think we all know that people can be attracted to forbidden things, well, at least if you associated anxiety with arousal.

    Be strong! Have hope!
    Andy Dufresne likes this.
  3. Andy Dufresne

    Andy Dufresne Fapstronaut

    Thanks PraisetheSun!
    I will do just that over the next day or so. Will also read some of my old posts to remind myself why I started this process in the first place.
    Would be good to discuss the pros and cons of the porn blockers - at best it’s a tactical boost to prevent access to temptation, but I get what you mean
    Stay strong :)

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