I was progressing very well on the nofap challenge recently, closing in on the 30 day mark: not having any temptations or need to PMO. The reason for that? I connected with a girl I was introduced to by a friend of a friend one evening. I have been trying to do nofap for around 4 years to pursue a real relationship and experience sex with a girl. I'm 21 and a virgin just to add context. Anyway, I really hit it off with this girl. I ended up going out for 2/3 'dates' with her, more just chatting and getting to know her. I was very upfront with her early on when we discussed what this was to become- we both agreed it would be something casual. From that day onwards, I knew that the idea of having sex with her was going to be likely after our next meet up. That indeed proved to be the case, however I completely messed up due to being so nervous and now I haven't spoken to or seen her since. I think my problem was that I already had in my head before meeting her that this was going to happen... and so I was over analysing it all in my head before meeting her. I live in the city centre, whereas she has to catch a 20-min bus to get into town, meaning she's likely to want to stay at mine rather than travel home late at night. We got back to mine, one thing led to another and I began fingering her.... I have fingered a couple of girls previously but I am by no means experienced in what i'm doing, and this is probably something she noticed. She said I was being too rough with her, and got out of bed around 10 mins in to go to the bathroom. When she returned the moment had completely gone, she then tried touching me but I couldn't get it up either.. which was also somewhat of a concern. The night didn't exactly go to plan... she picked up on the fact I was nervous and told me to relax on a couple of occasions, I didn't end up having sex with her but she stayed over nonetheless. From that day, I said sorry for what happened and continued to text her over the next few days. I gradually noticed her interest diminish: slower replies, not meeting up at the weekends as she had done for the past few weeks. I tried asking her to meet up on three separate weekends, each time she had a reason to not go. Fair enough, but not once did she suggest another date... which made clear to me that I had blown it because of that one night. I stopped messaging her to see if she would get in touch..... nothing. We haven't spoken in nearly three weeks now and I'm sure it's now dead and buried. After being on such a high, feeling like I'd finally broken free from nofap and was going to finally experience a meaningful connection with someone, even if it was on a casual basis, I'm since gone backwards and reverted to Pmo :/ Hoping to put myself out there again but this has really knocked my confidence. What I liked about it all was how unexpected it all was and it felt so natural. I'm not particularly into Tinder hook-ups and not kind of thing as I feel it's a bit fake, but meeting girls like the way I did that night is becoming somewhat harder so it seems. I had it in the back of my mind that she would give me a second chance, but that's not the case. I have been blaming myself for what happened and have felt so shit about it, and not being able to change what went wrong. Because I've never slept with a girl, and I knew she wasn't a virgin, I felt so under pressure to perform, so much to the point that I was nearly shaking at one point. Sure, you can watch sex online- (and of course it's nothing like what really happens) but nothing can really prepare you for the actual moment. How do I become more relaxed so that this doesn't happen next time?