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Back to square one :( Binged again after 2.5 days

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by jw88, Dec 29, 2013.

  1. jw88

    jw88 Fapstronaut

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    I've been very anxious recently regarding a strange relationship with a girl I'm in. To the point where I feel like tearing my hair out. Anyway, the entire day I have craved to fap so badly. I managed to resist all day until the evening when I did it and to be honest, I feel it was the best thing. There was no way I could continue with the level of emotions I had been experiencing, and I do feel a lot calmer now.

    I realise this is basically self medicating myself with dopamine by masturbating which has to stop, but I am doing better than I used to. I used to masturbate 2-3x a day every day. I binged today and did it 3 times, but it was after a 2.5 day break. Not that long but long for me. I will keep trying, and hopefully when the issues with my girlfriend blow over I will be able to survive for longer.

    This is the second binge I've had now though :(. Back to square one. Is it often like this at the start?

    Note after the binge:

    I now look at the situation with my girlfriend, and realise it really isn't such a big deal. The withdrawel and low dopamine (I assume) made me go slightly nuts! I almost dumped her and it was only 2.5 days without masturbating!

    She is very different and confusing in the way she acts but always has been, nothing has changed. An interesting observation if you ask me. So in this case, masturbating may have saved my relationship, however... it is not a healthy way to medicate!
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2013
  2. Jason2

    Jason2 Guest

    Three times in one day? Um, tell us why you didn't get on this forum for help after the first one. And where's your accountability partner?
     
  3. jw88

    jw88 Fapstronaut

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    It takes too long to reply on here when I feel I need instant help. And whats an accountability partner?
     
  4. Jason2

    Jason2 Guest

    You need an accountability partner, then, which is someone whom you can call instantly whenever you need help. Do you know anyone who can help you in this way?
     
  5. jw88

    jw88 Fapstronaut

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    No I have no one. This is an embarasssing thing for me to admit to anyone in my immediate and real life.
     
  6. Jason2

    Jason2 Guest

    Then you need to get over yourself and admit it. If you can't get past your embarrassment, you'll never get better.

    One day I had a cold sore break out on my lip. My friend was over, and he joked, saying, "You should stop sucking dick." What he didn't know was that my step-father sexually abused me as a child and made me suck his dick. That's where I got herpes. Anyway, without shame or embarrassment, I told my friend why I had a cold sore.

    Get over yourself. Or give up. But whatever you do, stop fooling yourself!
     
  7. CBMWT

    CBMWT Fapstronaut

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    Everything that is done in the dark eventually comes out into the light. Don't be embarrassed man, and never allow yourself to become a victim. Don't make excuses for your failures or you'll continue to fail.
     

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