I had a dream last night that I was searching on my computer for porn and I woke up before anything could happen but it scared me because I have made a lot of progress in new areas of my life all of which I consider to be self improvement. These areas are: ~Exercise (focusing on calisthenics workouts) ~General School Work ~Piano (trying to learn all 36 major minor and harmonic scales before the end of the year and one song) ~Cutting back on drinking (My goal is no more than 2 a day with 4 on any day being the maximum. No more than 14 drinks in a week) ~Quit smoking cigarettes and moved to cigars (they say cigars are not a safe alternative to cigs but Im sure cigars are still safer (no inhalation)) ~Learning penmanship with the Palmer Method (quicker method of writing than what I was taught growing up and still looks more ornamental) ~LSAT studying Im afraid and I'm almost sure if I went back to watching porn I would not be able to juggle all these things because I wasn't able to juggle them when I was watching porn in the past. I wouldn't have the energy for exercise, I would probably go back to drinking and smoking cigarettes (three bad habits that went together for me in the past were drinking, smoking, and porn) and I don't think I would have the discipline for general school work, the LSAT, or penmanship. Procrastibating used to get me all the time. I am very glad and feel very lucky that I woke up from the dream when I did.
When on my 30 day streak similar dreams began cropping up half way through. I believe as we take note of improvements without the activity, we start envisioning it as harmful and something to be feared. Our dreams appear to me as symbolic visions in the subconscious. The act may have been symbolized as a destructive behavior in your mind, and your dream is displaying it as such. Either way, don't let a dream worry you. Dreams don't represent what will happen nor necessarily what you desire, particularly if fear arose from it.
I think you're right about not worrying about the dream and how it may be destructive behavior symbolized. I would not like it to become self fulfilling either by worrying too much and giving the dream too much credit.
