I was reading an article recently that confirmed what I think most women know they do more of the child rearing than men do as well as more of the housework. This is true even if the woman far outearns the man so she’s a surgeon and he’s a teacher, and even when the woman works a lot longer hours. I’ve seen this so many times as a lawyer where a married couple are both lawyers yet when the child is sick she stays home not him, she goes part time or leaves the workforce all together. Often no doubt she does this by choice and is more than happy to, but what about when she’s not? What about when it simply does not make financial sense and she does not want to stay at home? And the study also confirmed what I thought that if asked the majority of men say they want a relationship where child care is totally equal as well as housework and they want a working woman but when push comes to shove they actually don’t step up to the plate. Is it because they harbor gender ideas so deeply buried that they don’t even know they do? Or is that just something they say because they don’t think they can tell the truth. I think most men want children and want women with jobs that are educated so long as her job is secondary and they expect that if either career suffers due to child care it’s certainly not going to be theirs. IMO the reason for the gender pay gap is more about men not stepping up and supporting her career as she supports his or caring for the kids more so she can devote more time to her job. Many women who want to work often leave the workforce simply because she can’t do it all. But if her partner stepped up just a little bit more she could. I have never really wanted children and neither do most of my friends. Some people say that’s selfish I say actually it would be selfish to have a child I did not really want. I have however in past relationships agreed that if we married I would consider it. But that idea almost always broke down when it became clear that I was expected to go part tIME, work less hours or stay at home even though I made it quite clear from day One I had no intention of doing that. In One such relationship my partner was considering a new job that would have him travel two weeks out of the month. He also was adamant about wanting a child. I had told him early on that if he wanted that he would need to be the primary caretaker and he said that was fine that he would even stay home. I made a lot more money. So I asked him being that I don’t get home until around 8:00 at night who exactly is going to care for the child while you travel? And there it came well I just assumed you would cut back on your hours when you had a kid. My response but I specifically told you I would not? What about you do you intend on cutting back hours? Well no I can’t it will hurt my career. And mine? No response. And that’s when I ended things. Please make no mistake if either person wants to stay home and the family can afford it they absolutely should do that. But it seems despite how far we may have come many women are still being forced into the role or stay at home parent by their spouses. So ladies and men have you experienced this? Men would you be willing to be a stay at home parent or reduce your hours to allow your partner to continue her career and why or why not? Oh and if anyone that responds does not mind could you mention your age. I do think men under a certain age are more open to staying at home but I would like to see if I’m right.