Be Selfish For Your Own Sake

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Joe Makuza, Jun 29, 2020.

  1. Joe Makuza

    Joe Makuza Fapstronaut

    214
    161
    43


    A mistake I made in part and something I have seen many men make on this forum is doing nofap for your significant other. Don’t get me wrong, it’s coming from a good place when you do this. And I am sure if your S.O had an addiction you would want them to stop for the sake of the relationship. But what happens if you get into major disagreement, or break up with them or get a divorce?

    Then your reason for nofap or any new habit goes out the window with the bath water.


    You have to do nofap for yourself not for others no matter how important those other people are you. If you care or even love them you will do it for yourself, in fact explain it to them, then they will understand if they are healthy to begin with. This doesn’t mean they can’t help you, offer advice, or you can’t talk to them about your struggles. In fact, why I am saying do it for yourself is because you owe yourself. After all porn and/or masturbation addiction is no different to being addicted to heroin or crystal meth.


    Doing it for yourself adds the chance that you will take this more seriously, yes most of us if not all of us have relapsed multiple times over their journey. And its normal but it should not be in excess. But knowing that you want to stop because you want to get healthy does make you more accountable to yourself. Again, don’t be afraid to reach out to those closest to you when you need to talk about your problems. Do it for the future version of yourself that has achieved all that you have ever wanted to achieve. Do it because by getting rid of an addiction you became a better boyfriend/husband, friend, family member, boss, employee etc., because you did it for yourself.


    By doing it for yourself you may realize that you are in an unhealthy relationship, have shitty friends, or even shitty family. They may have caused you to seek refuge in this addiction. Remember may have. Or you may find that your significant other is more supportive than you thought, you have great friends, or a loving family. But do it for your self and ask for help along the way.


    With dedication comes clarity.

     
    drac16 and BurgerChamp like this.
  2. BurgerChamp

    BurgerChamp Fapstronaut

    This is truly inspiring man. I love the message! One year ago, I always told myself that I would quit smoking cigarettes if I get a girlfriend. When I did get a girlfriend, however, my chain-smoking still persisted and I was smoking all the time while being in a relationship with her. Covid-19 struck and quarantine was implemented and thus, for three (3) months until present, I did not have a daily allowance. (still living with my parents until I graduate from college). This isolation, let alone, helped me quit smoking due to the fact that I do not have any means of buying a stick or pack as I do not have any money in my pocket. Withdrawing from the addiction was really difficult for me because, during the first weeks of lockdown, I found ways to buy a stick and that was through being friends with my neighbor who smokes and likewise using the coins I have left remaining from my piggy bank. When I had nothing left on me and stopped seeing my neighbour, I gradually developed my self-discipline and on the second month of quarantine I no longer smoked. There were always urges and cravings for me to smoke cigarettes during the withdrawal phase for the matter that I missed the short-term pleasure of it just like what PMO does, taste and smell of it, and watching celebrities on the internet or actors in the movies smoking it. This had to stop though and I always thought of the reasons why I quit; for my long term cardiovascular system and my mental health. Above all, I am proud to say that I am two (2) months smoke-free now!

    I reflected on your message and you're straight up right man. You don't need to do this (quit) for someone, do it for yourself. I wasn't accountable to my ex for quitting my smoking addiction. I did it for myself and you really need to tell yourself everyday that you must quit, it's a choice you need to make every day for yourself and your future self.
     
    Joe Makuza likes this.
  3. drac16

    drac16 Fapstronaut

    932
    1,016
    123
    There's a lot of wisdom in what you wrote. I agree with you inasmuch as we ought to do this for ourselves. Who knows? maybe I will get married a few years down the road and my future wife will love the fact that I chose to abstain from PMO. For now, though, it's all about holding myself accountable and abstaining from PMO for my own benefit. I am in control of my sexual life and there's no way I'm going to let pornography get me into a choke hold.
     
    Joe Makuza likes this.
  4. Joe Makuza

    Joe Makuza Fapstronaut

    214
    161
    43
    Congrats on quitting smoking, if you can quit that then pmo will be a walk in the park for you.
    How is your pmo journey going so far?
     
    BurgerChamp likes this.
  5. Joe Makuza

    Joe Makuza Fapstronaut

    214
    161
    43
    What ever she thinks of what did you remember you did it for yourself and no one else.
     
    drac16 likes this.
  6. BurgerChamp

    BurgerChamp Fapstronaut

    So true, brother! I've been taking the journey seriously for two months now and have been on quite a few relapses. Today marks my second day and I have a goal of seven (7) days or 1 week. I'm thus staying strong and learning new things each day :emoji_100:
     

Share This Page