becoming a live-in slave

A lot of sexual desire is illusion really. I find it helpful to think of the brains sexual functions 'going wrong' in a strictly biological sense. This is not very PC I know, but for those of us who have been wrapped up in such traumatic experiences it does help to overcome what is identified clearly as negative behavior.

The biological reality is that sex serves a primary purpose: making babies. Everything else is secondary. Everything else is totally unnecessary for 'happiness'.

If you are a heterosexual guy with no sexual 'abnormality' then you are lucky in that society accepts your sexuality 100%: But even then you will be expected to behave in a way that is consistent with the societal constraints of your culture. These constraints are entirely non-biological, but they are very real. They have 'come about' as: 1. The needs of the many out way the few, 2. Sex is used by the powerful to control the non-powerful (this is IMHO why porn is legal).

So where does this leave those of us who consider our sexuality to be 'abnormal' (includes me: I have a mild femdom thing going on as well, not as serious as the original posters perhaps, but it is still there and will always be there)? We have to look at this rationally.

We have to:
1. Firstly accept our abnormality - it isn't an illness, it cannot be cured in the medical sense - but also accept is is not who we are and that it is not critical to our happiness.
2. We have to find real strength through abstinence from these desires that lead to negative outcomes for us and others, we have to ignore those (e.g. the porn industry) who would seek to exploit our abnormality. This is when we find control.
3. We next have to understand that very, very few people are actually totally 'normal' in sexual terms - that most of us are somewhere on the 'abnormality scale' of sexual desire, but that dosn't need to translate into *real* sexual behavior. Remember, sex is first and foremost about making babies. Sorry, but from a biological perspective that is all it is.
4. Then, when we are in control, when we 'know' we are in control, we can look at ourselves in a positive light. We can harness our true potential as human beings with fantastic futures. We can see the sexual abnormality in our brains as what it is - just a useless bi-product of the evolutionary process that will help no one, especially ourselves.

 

Firstly, cry and cry and say sorry to God.
The next step is to keep that in mind and start watching spiritual videos on YouTube and slowly start reading bible verses. Which may feel bit hard at beginning but, trust me; the only way you can completely get rid of this is only via Willpower+God (Bible verses are intelligent). Do see my few posts (nothing much, but, might help few). But, the holy spirit is STILL working inside you. He's crying inside you and want you to leave this hell that you're in..
I'll pray for you!

 

I personally think it's completely porn induced. I believe the arousal you get from this type of porn and fetish will be like pure ecstasy to you.

In my opinion the only answer is staying away from it long enough so that this will weaken. You also need to get something that is healthy and better in your life. Becaue if your not living a healthy life that you enjoy then it will be more likely that you will eventually return to this unhealthy behaviour.

Your not an abnormal human. You have been addicted to masturbating to porn for so long that you have reached the stage this sort of weird porn, fantasies and even participating in it is like pure ecstasy to you. Like I said the only way to weaken this and break free from it is to stay away from it long enough, and then also try to change your life for the better. You weren't born this way, this has been conditioned in you after many years of heavy porn use, and indulging in this porn induced fetish.

Please don't think this is normal, and this is your true sexual orientation. Because it isn't. This is completely porn induced.

Also please don't feel sorry for your self, because this won't get you anywhere. In fact this will actually likely cause further relapse in this porn, fetish and behaviour.

No offence, but just grow up, give your self a shake, realise you have done this to your self, don't feel sorry for your self, and try your best to stop all of this, so that you can get your self out of it.

 

Completely agree with this. As a femdom addict myself, I feel what has helped me was almost 2 years away from pmo. I have tested myself recently , and while I think I am still attracted to the type of femdom sexual acts that controlled me before, I genuinely feel that I am now in total control of my sexuality. I have started Ming again for 'healthy' reasons, but it really is totally healthy - it is for physiological not sexual reasons.. I think we can all be healthy people with a healthy attitude to sex but we have to work at this. We are all different, just because some of us have further to go to get to that point doesn't mean we cannot get there! Stay positive

 

It is simple in theory; the more a person keeps edging and seeking more fantasies will eventually get to the hardcore porn. To stop this brain wiring you need to stop the cycle, so they weaken and change to normal. You can not moderate, try the new path; treat whatever you are seeking as a PMO and that it should be avoided. So work on not to edge, not to fantasize, not to masturbate. Forget and forgive yourself for what you have approached because really this is not yourself and your true self is much better than this, this applies to everyone in here on this forum.

Of course any modern whore will tell you that, because you are their money income! it's like asking a drug dealer if there is a way to abstain from drugs. You should cut the whole cycle. When a person wants to repent he won't ask the satan how to do that, but he will escape and ask god to help him.

Trust me, this kind of feeling will be felt each time a person edges to a sexual material. It will make you lost and feel hopeless that you won't live without it. Which is a total lie.

Remember that Femdom is not a fantasy we are born with. And once you stop edging and fantasizing you will become much normal and happy and moderate your desires. you will control yourself.

So Mr.Graham if you read my comment, I hope you start a whole new method, moderation and soft treatment is not the way. Cut the whole cycle and start one to stop PMO.

 

Unfortunately you have only searched for one view, which is the one you might want. And if you didn't find on web someone who reported that he has beat this fetish DOES NOT mean that it is not treatable. However, As I remember currently there are three members in this forum who have treated this fetish and changed totally to normal sexual desire. Here @MasterRoshi , He responded to you a year back.
There are also two persons who have stopped it out of this forum, and all of them concluded one thing "Nofap is the solution".

If you don't take Nofap seriously then you will get worse.. Edging is same as bad as porn, and sometimes worse. One more thing, The internet community won't tell you that Femdom is treatable, same to those with sissy fetish/transwoman fetish/Gay-porn. Very little people will tell you it is treatable, unless it is a sober community as Nofap. The common word you will hear is "Accept yourself" while this is not the truth at all and those who tell that are either not experts or Modern whores (Mistresses).

You said it, this is a progressive fetish from your foot fetish desires, and it will vanish as you work on yourself in Nofap. You need to put everything done in the past. If you want to get a random life away from this Lying Hypnotic lust, you should look at yourself deep inside and have a decision of a literal change. You should stop yourself from edging, sexting and approaching the your Fetish's heaven, because it is your hell. Just cut it or else it will keep putting you down.

In the end, of you care about your faith, remember deeply, that this fantasy specifically is not just about a sexual orientation, but it is directly against the base of the Islamic faith. Every sin could be forgiven except this fetish; worshiping an idol.

If you feel you can't bear it alone, check for a therapist also keep approaching the community here, And never forget that the God who has given you all this life is the only one who can help you to get better

 

Man, and I though I was fucked up, justvwatching some hideous stuff. Guess just fanyasy is bad , but fantasy and acting on it is ecen worse...

 

It sounds like a lot of the reason the way you are the way that you are is because of bad circumstances. The sexual abuse could be a huge part of it. You are so much more than what you have been led to believe. I used to be submissive and watcheda ton of sissy hypno. This kind of stuff is overcomable. What do you want? To be a slave or be free?

 

Master Chips is giving you some great feedback. I hope you reach out to a therapist and talk about this stuff, it sounds like you don't have healthy role models in your family, especially with the women.

 

Also when you relapse, I hope you don't judge yourself too harshly by making a differentiation in your mind. It's not necessarily bad that you have a submissive side, but the way you're acting out is very harmful. Giving away your earnings and being vulnerable to narcissistic women will leave you to be exploited even more.

I'll give an example of my own experience which will hopefully help you relate to it. I started having a lot of gay thoughts because of porn. However, I don't really think I'm gay because the feelings are fleeting and I usually prefer women. But when the thoughts appear, it's also on the extreme side and very hardcore. For example, I'll think about getting dominated and abused by men. However, when these thoughts appear I try to leave room without judgment in my mind. I might say 'Even if it turns out I'm gay, that might not necessarily be a bad thing. But acting out these fantasies which might literally lead me to be sexually abused by another man IS very harmful. Furthermore quitting porn might lead me to someday have a healthy relationship with a guy. Then we might introduce a reasonable dose of domination role play built on trust.'. Then I think to myself. "Hmm but I might not be gay at all".

So in your situation you can say/think to yourself: "I'm submissive but that might not necessarily be a bad thing. One day, I will find a woman and we might even experiment with my fantasies. But we will love each other and it will all be based on consensuality and trust. However, acting out on these fantasies in the way I'm doing it is harmful. I need to be mindful of the women I'm listening to because they don't have my interest at mind. It's harmful for me to give away my earnings and allow myself to be manipulated. Moreover, I'm not going to allow my shame to keep me stuck in this cycle. I'm going to do the hard thing and open up to a therapist about my experience so I can move past it".

I hope that helps you man. I wish you the very best!

 

I think it's definitely smart to stay off of porn from this point forward. It's hard but it's possible. The devil likes to tell us a bunch of lies about ourselves and what we deserve. You heard the voice of the devil through these women and he lied to you. You are a child of the most high king. He calls you his son. That's where you get your identity, your purpose. The devil will hold the apple in front of your face and convince you to eat it. And then laugh at you and make you feel bad for doing so. Again I have to ask. What do you truly want? Slavery or freedom?

 

You should consider that this might never be truly "curable." You can break the cycle and reach a point of sexual normalcy, but the chance to relapse can still be there. A therapist will help you learn to properly deal with trauma, and help you learn to control what you CAN control.

 

U should install covenant eyes or accountable2you

 

Wow I am glad that you started thinking rationally. even my story is kinda similar to yours, like how it escalates from small to extreme things and it hits you when you have this depression and anxiety kick in. Good luck getting rid of your addictions.

There is this book called "Unwanted" by jay stringer, it describes why a person can get these dominant or submissive nature, and he says you don't have to watch porn to get these fantasies. He even says that for people suffering from these unwanted sexual behaviour, you have to find the root cause of your behavior, rather than blindly doing Nofap or reboot (It is written based on research on 3800 people)

read my story when you are free: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...by-trying-to-make-a-fantasy-a-reality.271925/

 

Exactly and even if people aren't taking money, when any lifestyle is ruining or disrupting our normal life, it is dangerous. Everyone has these fantasies from childhood, but porn fuels it to make it a reality. It brainwashes us into thinking that there is no other way for us....

 

No sorry this isn't correct and the op is likely going to have very severe mental damage if he does cure it now. The problem though is trying to get an ssri for fetishes. If this is a problem for you please try the method in my profile.