Becoming the writer I want to be

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Anakin66, Feb 24, 2020.

  1. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    A chapter edited. Up to page 155.
     
  2. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    I like it, but (I always hate doing this, feel like such an ass) it doesnt fit the format.
     
  3. What part doesn't fit the format? I struggled with the de- words yesterday because some, like delicious, didn't work no matter what I did. I don't think you're an ass. If something can be improved on, then I'm game.
     
    Henryforward likes this.
  4. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    I'll split the haiku into its syllables with - so you can see more easily.

    sea-son-al ro-man-ces This is 6
    are de-light-ful, del-i-ri-ous, This is 8.
    or ev-en de-lo-vely This is 6.

    You could restructure it to this

    Seasonal romance,
    delightful delirious,
    even de-lovely.
     
  5. I like that, but would you put a semi-colon instead of a comma? I know the last two lines flow together, but the comma after the first throws me off. Or is it grammatically correct?
     
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  6. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    I'll be honest when it comes to the use of semicolons I falter a little. You are probably right. Or just use a full stop.
     
  7. It's okay. I played with the punctuation a little and we can see which one works best:

    Seasonal romance,
    delightful delirious,
    even de-lovely.

    Seasonal romance;
    delightful delirious,
    even de-lovely.

    Seasonal romance
    delightful delirious,
    even de-lovely.

    We're always learning something new each day. :D
     
    Henryforward likes this.
  8. @Henryforward Thoughts?
     
    Henryforward likes this.
  9. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

  10. I'm not strong on Grammer etc. I just write and keep it simple.
     
    aspiringwriter1997 likes this.
  11. And there's nothing wrong with that. :)
     
    Henryforward likes this.
  12. Started work on my novel again after a rather long hiatus!
    Did some editing and planning etc.
    And wrote about 500 words!
     
  13. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    Another chapter edited. 189 pages. I have to say, the standard of this book is much higher than book 1. I'm mainly cutting out superfluous dialogue right now, to tighten up interactions. To a lesser extent I'm rewording awkward sounding descriptions.
     
  14. I realized last night I have a lot of dialogue typed out. "Like this" without any spaces etc.

    But then I did some.
    More like this. "With breaks and stuff"
    Between sentences.

    Do you guys know what I mean and what is better? Should I edit the whole lot to be more like the second paragraph of just leave it?
     
  15. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    The general rule is to have line breaks when a new person speaks and when new information is being presented. For example

    The two men met in the street.
    "Hello John," said Daniel.
    "Long time no see," replied John.

    Is correct. I would not advise going against this because, while some authors do, it makes things harder to parse.
     
  16. I would be so thrilled if writers would just break
    down their run on sentences.

    Doing that solves so many problems...
     
  17. That's right I remember you explaining this a while back.
    What I did do correctly last night just looks so much better.
     
    aspiringwriter1997 likes this.
  18. P warrior

    P warrior Fapstronaut

    8
    14
    3
    Brother you have 500 days streak, so impressive
     
    Henryforward likes this.
  19. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    We had this conversation right at the start of this thread lol. Sometimes using run-on sentences is a stylistic choice. See for example Cormac McCarthy.
     
  20. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    203 pages edited. I'm enjoying cutting down dialogue massively. My issue is, I write dialogue in the way that I personally might speak in real life. A bit verbose, a bit stilted. With copious amounts of cursing lol. Makes sense for some characters, but not all. Amazing how much better speech flows when you go back to add in more contractions and cut out instances of people saying the same thing with different wording. It's still nowhere approaching perfect, but I'm getting better all the time.
     

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