Hello, my fellow Fapstronauts, I'm Michail and 3 or 4 years ago in June I did my longest rebooting of 30 days. Unfortunately, one day, I argued with my parents and went to relapse. Since that day, there have been only a handful of days with no fapping at all; and they were all merely days when I was in university all day, although I fapped sometimes there in the toilet. I have long admitted that I am indeed addicted, both to masturbation and porn. There are many times when porn scenes pop out of the blue in my head. The more I try to abstain from these thoughts, the worse and more powerful my desire to fap to porn becomes. The same a little more mildly happens when I'm about to sleep and think that I have to remove those bad habits, but the next minute I find myself masturbating and depriving myself of sleep. On these occasions, my mind goes blind and all it can do is lead me to sin. Even restraining thoughts and thoughts about my religion, even prayer doesn't help at this moment of drowning. Even now that I started writing those lines, I want desperately to masturbate to porn. I feel my body being only a pleasure machine. I seek pleasure through easy orgasm, while I avoid the hard acquired pleasures of training or playing the violin, or even composing some music, although I love doing them. I've aslo noticed that since the coronavirus lockdown, my tastes in porn have worsened. At first, I could fap also to innocent bikini images, while now I can't. Now I want moving photos (aka videos) that must in most cases involve penetration. The world around me also isn't nofap-friendly. From TV ads (hopefully I don't have that trash box in my home) to swears and usual phrases among friends, they all turn around sex, and that's because sex sells well! I greatly need your advise! What can I do in such cases when my mind is going blind? What can I do in those occasions when I have porn scenes play in head? Any other advise? How can I leave sexual messages and innuendo from my environment unnoticed and ineffective to me? Please, I deperately need it!