Been trying to abstain for sometime, relapsed and came across nofap. This is it mate!

Okay, so I have been trying to abstain for quite sometime.. Initiated few years ago but got serious about it just few months ago. I have been able to go one week, two weeks. Longest I have gone is 40 days which was my last time.

I am a very spiritual as well very curious person and I have tried couple of things along my journey. I will share here few things that did NOT work so far:

Initially I thought all this fap shaming is false idea thats been made believed all around the society by religious people. So, I used masturbate and try not to feel guilty about it. But, no matter how hard I try to make myself believe its all good, somehow I couldn't. After several failed attempt, I agreed we lose our energy when we masturbate hence not good for us. (Later I found many more reasons why not to)

Okay, I thought maybe instead of masturbating I should have sex with escorts when I get the urge again. If I have sex, I will receive another person's energy and it will be all good. I started going to escorts, it was okay for sometime except for the fact I wasted lot of money. Trust me I wasn't guilty at all, probably because I treated them nicely. Gradually it became an addiction, I wanted to try new ladies every time. Took me while to understand but I got it eventually. But, before I stop I wanted to do an experiment. I thought I will goto escort have sex and all but I won't ejaculate, hence I retain my sperm, energy and vitality. Every time I came close to ejaculation I stopped. I was successful. It boosted my ego and I wanted to try again. Next week, I went to another. It took me just few seconds to relapse! Full of shame I came home and told to myself, never again.

Alright, no masturbation, no escorts but what should I do when I get the desire again. I found this Three Finger Squeezing technique online, its a technique to stop ejaculation, you have orgasm but it stops fluid from flowing out. It worked well for few times but I couldn't keep my mind away from porn. Everyday after coming back from work I wanted to try it. One day, I couldn't stop myself and relapsed! Full of shame and cursing my own foolishness, told to myself no more.

Just after all above, 39 days passed. I was so confident and determined that I have got it this time. It was around last full moon, or maybe a day after. I got this thought of checking out porn gif. I started checking out gifs. It did not take much time, I was watching a porn video. I was committed to myself I won't touch myself no matter what. At one moment I got so excited that I relapsed in my pants without even touching myself.

After going through all above, I am sure there are no easy ways or cutting corners to succeed with nofap. I came across this website and read few threads here. It has given me insights that the very first thought of checking out erotic stuff has to be treated. Next time if I ever get such thought, I will treat it at very beginning. Also, guys be aware from my understanding there is something with full moon, I noticed I relapsed second time around full moon day. You tend to get more thoughts like that around full moon I guess. I never knew such website existed, I have a feeling it will help me achieve my goal. Prayer to supporters. Stay strong guys and hope we all succeed.

Hopefully, from here on, nofap till I get married (if I do) or to infinity...!

 

Turning my mind towards God, constantly listening to spiritual music. Working towards my career goal. Abstained from social media. Meditate. And just not letting thought overtake me again. Any more suggestions you have for me?

 

Thank you. It's really helpful.