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Being a man... Being a provider...

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by ceetee9559, Jun 6, 2018.

  1. ceetee9559

    ceetee9559 Fapstronaut

    I can't speak for women, nor would I be disrespectful to even try. I can speak for myself as a man. I want to be a provider. Touching myself, watching porn, and you know the rest will not do those things. It's been 7 official days. I kept lying, making excuses, and telling myself I was doing a good job. I was involved with a married woman and still fapped, surprise, surprise. Now I'm alone, after her husband confronted me. I knew she and I were guilty. I am so desperate for a lady I love, but she blocked me because her boyfriend and I hate myself for it, but that's the problem. I've always chased after women I shouldn't. I should be myself. I should love myself more and let a lady see me being passionate and being a man. Being someone who can be a provider. Here's to being providers, men or women and here's to finding real love - not filling someone's void in an awful relationship, or filling a void by fapping or watching porn. God bless.
    Soberhopeful and Deleted Account like this.
  2. EndZone

    EndZone Fapstronaut

    Just don't date married women or ones who are already in relationships, there are plenty of single girls out there.
  3. Soberhopeful

    Soberhopeful Fapstronaut

    Thank you for your honesty. Acknowledging what you did is the first step to healing.
    Many years ago when I was constantly Into PMO, I planned to have an affair outside my marriage. I kept thinking that the woman was better than my wife in many ways. I kept hitting on her and told her how much she meant to me and that I wished I was married to her.
    I ended up getting her phone number and knew how to get to her house. By the grace of God, I never followed through. My wife and I are now still married over 22 years. We worked things out through our own recovery programs.
    I tell you all this because PMO is a boldface lie. It promises everything but delivers nothing. It just encourages you to continue your dopamine drug and will make you do anything to get it...even chasing married women. God bless.
    ceetee9559 likes this.

    MAX EFFORT Fapstronaut

    I have lived similar events.
    The chemical release during orgasm creates a connection. This natural occurrence is established to help the partners bond to raise a child. Unfortunately, because we have exposed ourselves to longing, lusting, and mentally binding to women who should not be desired (through porn), we carry that over into our normal life. In real life, we seek after the types of women that we find in porn.
    The only way to remove that mindset is to remove the mind from the negative influence - pornography. After the mind has healed from what it has been exposed to, then the person will no longer be seeking and chasing after those things which are the physical manifestation by which the mind has been negatively affected.
    Remember, Maximum Effort.
    ceetee9559 likes this.

    EXPONENTIALLY Fapstronaut

  6. ceetee9559

    ceetee9559 Fapstronaut

    MAX EFFORT likes this.
  7. I can relate to you, good sir. I too have found myself in the past, relentlessly cheating on my ex girlfriend who I was with for almost six years, multiple times, and for petty reasons and with girls/women who were in relationships. I knew how to tell them what they wanted to hear “I’m in a relationship, it’s great, buttttt....” drawing sympathy, and then hitting them with “oh he does that? I would never do that, I would treat you better” working on the provider angle and seeing what would happen. Before my wife I was seeking a woman fairly older than me, I was 22 and she was 43, and she had a house with a guy roommate (they both “loved” each other but “weren't together”) and the only time I could come over was when he was at work or on vacation and what ended that was she didn’t want to be with me even though I told her I could provide more than this guy ever could.

    It wasn’t until my wife taught me to live and make myself better my self esteem and wanting to provide for some else subsided and I started helping myself. PMO constantly put me down in bad situations in the beginning of my marriage and held me down up until recently when I knew I had to fully commit because if I did not I would lose my wife altogether. So far the last 16 days have been prolly the best in my life with my wife.

    Just remember to make yourself feel like you can provided and do everything you want to. Not for someone else ina. Bad relationship.
  8. pcmaster

    pcmaster Fapstronaut

    Its seems unreal how you guys can cheat and M with girls and still be together for years. I dont do any of that while with a girl but still cant keep a girl longer than 2 months.
  9. A lot of cheating is from general unhappiness in my case. I do not know why me and my ex were together for as long as we were, we cheated on each other multiple times and even when we were caught we never called it quits when we should’ve. My ex also insisted me to M and influence my P intake because she was also into P.
    pcmaster likes this.
  10. Here2learn17

    Here2learn17 Fapstronaut

    What happens? Why does it keep going wrong?

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