Being Gay or Bisexual

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Ready to be healthy, Oct 9, 2017.

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  1. Is ok and totally normal for many men :)

    I'm new to this site and I have noticed a somewhat worrying pattern already and that is that many guys on here seem to fear that an attraction they might feel to other men derives from porn addiction and that their brain has "broken" and it seems that they hope rebooting "will ensure they are straight"

    I'm 34 and gay - I was well aware of both my romantic and physical attraction to other guys long before the internet and long before I had ready access to porn.

    One point in high school I did have a girlfriend and I genuinely loved her and was heartbroken when she moved away- however I see this as my natural and fluid sexuality which is totally normal :)

    Porn abuse can lead to us needing harder and harder porn to get off- god knows that was true for me- however I didn't feel it would alter my sexuality.

    I do understand that some extreme porn my involve another man having sex with your wife and that may be confusing.

    Anyway- I guess the point I am trying to make is that having an attraction to other men- even if you identify as straight does not mean you are a sexual deviant and it does not mean there is anything wrong with you.

    I would happy to chat with any guy who is having issues with sexuality that you don't think is due to porn addiction/PMO

    :)
     
  2. MLMVSS

    MLMVSS Fapstronaut

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    Porn leads to confusion on all sides. I've known guys and girls questioning if they were homosexual due to porn, and I even knew of guys who were otherwise gay, but questioned it because they absorbed themselves into straight porn, yet they never liked women. The main way to clear up the confusion is to steer clear of all porn, and let the natural instincts kick in.
     
  3. The problem is, today's kids are exposed to porn at such a young age they don't even have the opportunity to discover what those natural instincts are. I think this porn-induced sexual identity confusion is a relatively new phenomenon that came about with the marriage of high-speed internet and the increasingly sexualized nature of our culture. I don't want to say that kids growing up today have no chance, but they're really disadvantaged when there's a serious lack of education on the dangers of porn and what it can do to a young, developing mind.
     
  4. That's fine, but many suffer with HOCD - homosexual obsessive compulsive disorder (for straight guys) and heterosexual obsessive compulsive disorder (for gay guys). The way to revert to type is total abstinence from masturbation and porn until the brain is rebooted to 'factory settings'.
     
  5. Poseidon

    Poseidon Fapstronaut

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    Sexuality is a spectrum. Nobody is 100% straight and nobody is 100% gay. I think porn awakens certain repressed inclinations in some people.
     
  6. That is not true. I think it was Kinsey that found that 15% of men were exclusively homosexual from puberty onwards.
     
  7. Poseidon

    Poseidon Fapstronaut

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    Your post does nothing to prove what I said is wrong. :p
     
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  8. I just quoted research that refutes your assertion. So, I take it you do not accept the findings of that research.
     
  9. grantham99

    grantham99 Fapstronaut

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    I agree that sexuality exists on a spectrum, but I also agree that some people are more or less entirely gay or straight. I identify as gay and I have no sexual or romantic attraction to women. I have had sex with a woman once and found afterwards that it wasn’t really for me.

    I do sometimes wonder if I’d had sex with a woman before coming out and confirming my sexual identity to myself if I’d moved further along the spectrum towards bisexuality. But there’s not much point in speculating!
     
  10. MLMVSS

    MLMVSS Fapstronaut

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    Exclusive is another way of saying "limited to", or in other words, all or nothing.

    Also, not once did I have a crush on another male, or found them sexually/romantically attractive, so there goes that. :p
     
  11. I'm guessing this isn't a place where people can suggest that homosexuality is wrong or unnatural.

    Just by stating this I'm sure a flurry of protests are about to follow (despite that I haven't actually expressed any opinions of my own). Is all right/wrong, good/evil, relative in our society now?
     
  12. Poseidon

    Poseidon Fapstronaut

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    Well, what are your opinions?
     
  13. I would say they're also highly disadvantaged growing up in a society with communities like the LGBT community that almost seem to push being gay or trans as something "cool." As you know, I have no issue with people being gay or trans, but I think kids growing up today are going to have a hard time knowing if they really are gay/trans, at their core, or if it's just due to society's influence.

    Also, just to be clear, I'm not trying to hate on the LGBT+ community, and I don't think everyone who is a part of that community is trying to push people to be gay or trans, but there are definitely a lot of people out there who are. Or who take any tiny little thing, like a child's natural curiosity about the other gender and say "oh, my kid is trans, I'm gonna raise them that way to be accepting!" Life is gonna be confusing for those kids, I think.
     
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  14. A lot of people believe that way, yes. I don't. I think there are absolutes of morality, determined by God, but personally I don't think this thread is the place to have that debate.
     
  15. Jerry4NF

    Jerry4NF Fapstronaut

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    Ok. First, thank you for starting this thread
    I'm a 23 yo gay male,and even when I have been PMOing since I was 12, and had a really hard time on the coming out and acceptance process to my family, friends, and myself, not once did any of this facts changed my porn/sexual/romantical tastes or preferences.

    I am definitely capable of acknowledging a cute/hot/good looking woman, I mean I am gay, not blind (my friends used to make the strangest faces when I commented on this hahaha), and I can go as far as to say that out of curiosity I also looked up some straight porn, or female anatomy information photos and such, but never in a sexual way.

    Regarding the rest of the conversation at hand,
    1) Definitely some harder porn consumption takes place as times goes on on a sustained basis (in my case it just never led to straight porn)
    2) I do believe the constant presence of high speed internet is related to the increasing amount of porn consumption problems
    3) For me, the concept of sexuality is without a doubt fluid for many, it just has never been the case for me
    4) I do not think it is convenient to go into personal moral/religious beliefs or stances to try to measure others lifes, as it is not convienient nor beneficial for anyone, specially given the fact that most of us could be easily judged by the actions that have brought us here, and again, judgment does nothing for no one
    5) One could argue that confusion has always been part of the natural process for most people exploring/discovering their sexuality. Regardless of the way you see it, information is power, and today anyone who may think is part of the LGBTQ+ community has more access to information than never before, and as confusing as it may all be at the beginning: to immerse yourself in trust worthy information, (cientificaly proven) facts and knowledge has always been and will always be the best way to take any decision.
     
  16. Poseidon

    Poseidon Fapstronaut

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    Here we go... another good thread turned into a religious debate. I can just see it now: 7 or 8 pages of bickering until the mods lock it or everyone loses interest and finds the next thread where everyone is arguing about god.
     
  17. MLMVSS

    MLMVSS Fapstronaut

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    Homosexuality is very natural and it has been documented in many species of organisms, including humans ever since our existence. However, religion's less into pleasing the carnal desires and more into the delving into the spiritual realm of matters, hence homosexuality's one of the topics challenged. It all goes down to the sanctity and sacred nature of marriage to many who are religious.
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2017
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  18. I literally said, immediately after that, that this isn't the place for that type of conversation. You're the one who replied and continued that train of conversation. The entire purpose of my comment was to end that conversation that someone else tried to begin.
     
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  19. Plutonium

    Plutonium Fapstronaut

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    Why is it worrying when a man wants to remain straight?
     
  20. Plutonium

    Plutonium Fapstronaut

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    I agree.

    LGBT movement seems to have moved on from equal rights towards advocacy of their lifestyle.

    While I fully support equal rights for all, I would most certainly not wish for any of my children to become a member of this community. And wherever LGBT movement does advocacy work, it is essential for dissenting voices to be heard.
     
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