Being nice to myself

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Knighthawk, Sep 1, 2019.

  1. My inner dialogue is awful. I’m more negative and insulting to myself than I would ever be to others. Like today, I must have asked “what’s wrong with me?” At least 20 times.
    How do I change this?
    attempt45001 likes this.
  2. lolos

    lolos Fapstronaut

    Listen to the voice saying 'Whats wrong with me?' and do the things that it says. Arms look a bit skinny? Hit the gym. Grades are shit? Start studying hard. Can't talk to people? Practice and analyse yourself to get better. It will be hard but in a few months you will have nothing to feel bad about.

    Also meditate.
    Protagonist and Di.Do.555 like this.
  3. DerSchütze

    DerSchütze Fapstronaut

    I really don't think negative self talk is a positive. There is something to be said for self analysis, or making yourself into a person you want to be, but constantly berating yourself won't help.
    OP, try to catch yourself every time you have a thought like that, and turn it around, start working on some positive affirmations and mantras too.
    attempt45001 and Knighthawk like this.
  4. allitnam

    allitnam Fapstronaut

    I read some day that a mental excersise is to try putting the same complains we have about ourselves over other people and then try to see if those thoughts still make sense. For example, I may think I am a loser because I made X mistake in my work, so I must think: If the mistake was been made by a coworker (find a real person) would I think he is a loser? If your judgement about the impact of actions changes depending on who did it, you might be being unfear to you. A second exercise is to try to think if our friends or related ones would think the same about us that we do if we told them our situation, for example: if I told what I did to my brother (someone close who loves us) , would he think I am a loser? What would he think? Most of the times we will find we are being just too hard with ourselves. We can be mercyful with others but not with us, that shows that our thoughts are wrong. Why something is terrible when I do it, but it is just a small mistake when others do it?

    Just be kind with yourself, you deserve it.
    Di.Do.555 and Knighthawk like this.
  5. ifthecoppertubes

    ifthecoppertubes Fapstronaut

    Do you remember by any chance where you've read about these mental exercises?
  6. lolos

    lolos Fapstronaut

    Fuck that. The only time I have negative self talk is when I'm being a little bitch. Only give yourself positive affirmations if you deserve them.
  7. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

    "It is only a thought and a thought can be changed."
    That was a classic Louis Hay affirmation .
    Instead of battling with your negative thoughts (bad idea),why not start listening to positive affirmations?
    Be relentless and in due time u will make positive thinking your default mode of thinking.
    How do i know?
    I did it and it took me years. And it is worth it.
    Also worth mentioning are written affirmations .
    15 times daily.
    " i love and accept myself as i am. I deserve to be happy and healthy. I am worthy of love"
    Knighthawk likes this.
  8. Tibo87

    Tibo87 Fapstronaut

    You reframe your inner dialogue into a positive one.

    Write down on a piece of paper all the negative blocks that you have against yourself, especially for your sexuality and your self-confidence. On an other piece of paper, ''reframe'' all of them by turning them into a positive (ex: ''my arms are skinny > I am making myself stronger and bigger'').

    Now, time to let go of your old limiting beliefs! Create a ritual so that you will get rid, literally and figuratively, of your old limiting beliefs and the paper that contain them. You can burn it, bury it, make it fly as a paper plane into a fire, whatever inspire you to let it go.

    Now, with the positive one, keep it ALWAYS with you, and at least for the first month, read it EVERYDAY, morning and before to sleep. You will teach your brain to register the information as true. Practice is key here. If you practice self-love and self-confidence, you will become confident and you will love yourself.

    Add to that 10 affirmation out loud in front of the mirror for being grateful. Every morning, find 10 things you are grateful for.
    Knighthawk likes this.
  9. Thank you all so much for your responses! I’m going to try to implement some of these into my life and make them habits. Keep em comin!
    attempt45001 likes this.
  10. Tibo87

    Tibo87 Fapstronaut

    Suppress the try ;)

    ''I'm going to implement them'', much more powerful and efficient.
    Knighthawk likes this.
  11. Story of my life, avoiding absolutes haha
  12. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    If you're not going to be on your own side and believe in yourself, who will?

    It's so much easier to be negative. It's a way to escape the responsibility of creating real change in your life.
    Tibo87 and Knighthawk like this.
  13. attempt45001

    attempt45001 Fapstronaut

    Hey OP, im late to the party but i wanted to share anyway.
    There are a million and one answers to your question, thats because there are a million and one ways the brain works. You have to find a method that works for you, its usually a modification of something you hear that speaks to you.
    When i was in therapy, my therapist called me out for being harsh on myself, he said that i need to let myself breath and make my mind a less judgmental place. the method he suggested was thinking about each of the voices in my head as ppl or things, so the voice in my head that said get over it was a big ice warrior for example, and then i needed to create another voice, mine was a wolf, that would tell the ice warrior, its okay to feel hurt. its okay to be in the emotion ectra.
    so for you maybe create a voice that says, "hey its okay, your okay. there is nothing wrong with you, its normal to yxz."

    Best of luck and reach out if theres any help i can give, even a listening ear
    Knighthawk and Tibo87 like this.
  14. allitnam

    allitnam Fapstronaut

    It was in a webpage about psicology but I couldnt find it again, Im sorry

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