Being social with strangers.

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by TheSilverGoat, May 30, 2019.

  1. TheSilverGoat

    TheSilverGoat Fapstronaut

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    Hi! Hope you all are doing great!

    I realized I have a minor problem.

    I've been dealing with my insecurities for years, and I truly feel like I made a progress. I feel better with myself most of the times, and I've become a very open person, I don't feel insecure talking to other people and letting them know me in almost all levels.

    Problem here is that I only do so with people I share spaces with (School, Job...), with people who aboard me first or with people I meet online. Unless it's for necessary interactions (Talking to the employees at stores, asking for the time, paying for the bus) I find it somewhat difficult talking to random people on the street, or even at events of the stuff I like, no matter if they're girls or guys. I want to change that, I want to feel secure meeting new people on my own iniciative, and getting them to now me since the beggining (On non-compromising or very personal aspects only of course)

    Thanks for reading, stay strong.
     
    Reborn_ likes this.
  2. Informius

    Informius Fapstronaut

    Hi, seems like you are already in a good shape, you only need a bit of a nudge :)

    My tip for you: Make yourself a rule you will be able to achive, something like: "Every week I will talk to atleast 2 new people, even if it is just for one short sentence"

    Don't make it too hard for you, try it out more at those events of the stuff you like, as it will be easier (don't try to do it randomly on the street, this is were setbacks can happen more often. You will be able to do that later, but for now success is important).
    And you will need a couple of successes and than you will look forward to it!

    After that one sentence you made it to your goal. If conversation starts to flow a bit, engage! If not, don't worry. The other person is equally responsible for a flowing conversation as you are.

    Go for it!
     
    properWood likes this.
  3. TheSilverGoat

    TheSilverGoat Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a lot for the advice, I'll start right away
     
    Informius likes this.
  4. Informius

    Informius Fapstronaut

    Sweet man! let me know how it goes!
     
  5. TheSilverGoat

    TheSilverGoat Fapstronaut

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    Thanks! I've actually made some progress. I'm from Mexico. I moved from my hometown to a larger city less than a month ago. Today I went to the drugstore to get some vitamins and stopped by a street food place. I noticed it was run by two girls. One wasn't much of my type, the other one was, let's say cute. Noticed they had a oil-based salsa similar to one we make back at my hometown. Had some chat about it with them and they were very friendly. Told them I'd see if I could find the recipe and share it with them... Pretty successful, I'd say.

    Hope you doing great
     
    Informius likes this.
  6. Informius

    Informius Fapstronaut

    Awesome man!! That's a wonderful step. Of course it will take time to get comfortable with doing this sort of thing, but on how you described it you have gotten a positive feedback :)

    Keep at it!
     
    TheSilverGoat likes this.
  7. TheSilverGoat

    TheSilverGoat Fapstronaut

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    Hi, hoping all are doing great

    Had a reset yesterday, however, i'm feeling great again and shameless to start anew, something I've never felt before joining NoFap. Returned to excercise after almost a year since a quad accident I had that gave me a knee sprain and left me unable to run (hell, even went to see Slayer on crutches haha), Felt a bit tired, but very rewarding.

    Went to deliver some paperwork I needed to enter the university. It all went to the drain because I'm new to the city and the bus routes app I downloaded it's pretty buggy. Mexico... (*Mariachi plays*)

    However, back in my hometown I used to help one of my buds at his Brunch and Cafe, I got pretty used to enjoy all kinds of coffees, so I hit a local cafe to taste the goods.

    The barista was a girl that captived my eyes like no one in years. At first wasn't sure if she was a boy or a girl (Very skinny, small breasts, tattoos on the arms, short hair)... But turned out to be a girl of my "boyish" kind.
    I asked for a flat white, a milky new zealander style, but she gave me an expresso with milk instead, was pretty good, though. She was kind of upset and did't treat me very kindly, but neither was straight up rude. (The owner was there and didn't look very happy either...)

    All I did was to taste it and cheer up with the cup to let them know I liked It. She and the other barista said they glad I liked it. I asked what grain she used, she told me and I said goodbye. We looked each others in the eyes at a moment too. Was exactly the opposite to uncomfortable, she has the prettiest eyes I've seen in a while.

    She has all the archetipe of a potential lesbian, (no offense intended to any lesbian reading, but let's be honest, lots of lesbians look like that, and there's nothing wrong about it... It's just a thing)... But she has something that encourages me to look up for her.

    I'll hit the cafe soon and joke about our flat white misconceptions. I'll look up to befriend her and the guy. If she turns up to be a lesbian, well, I have the feeling she's gonna be a good bud. If not, I'm gonna make my move "Smooth and wild like the sea" as some mexican folk rock band says...

    Thanks for the read.
    Wishing the best to all.
     
    Informius likes this.
  8. Informius

    Informius Fapstronaut

    Nice! Good luck to you :)
     
    TheSilverGoat likes this.

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