Being uncertain and Overthinking

[Cosmic Ishan]

You see today I complete 36 days of NoFap and I don't know if I should continue any further or not. I can but I don't know if I should or not. Because last night while watching some cuddling videos which gets me to some kissing videos and other hot stuff on YouTube which made me so horny. I almost relapsed. My promise to myself was to hold it till 35 days but I made a goal of 50 days. So I don't know if I should make a promise to myself again to hold till that or just relapse now. I know I will overdo it since I didn't do it for 36 days. I can make a promise to myself and still hold it more which is not hard but should I or not because last night I was not able to sleep because I had this urge. It's all gone now and I can control it finely without losing my concentration. But I don't know if it's worth it or not because as long as I hold when I give up it will be all same. I read for like 1:30 hour about porn and masturbation and I find there's not anything bad in it and there are no disadvantages. I find there are some disadvantages in porn for the brain and sex which may not be relevant to me. There are no disadvantages in masturbation and I find out there are no disadvantages in porn either if do it in moderation. And I also watch soft porn not anything abusive like that. I do admit I like abusive Japanese porn so much which gives me so much satisfaction and addiction at the same time which what happened during the break but at the same time I also work on Bot which was successful and I didn't see any disadvantages in my stamina or brain beside some addiction. I don't know if I should not masturbate, fap without porn, fap with porn. There are different answers everywhere. One thing I know for sure is Masturbation is harmless but the porn part has so many different answers. It says it has to affect sex which I am not gonna do for years and it says it shrinks the brain but depression plays more part in it. It's only bad if it's cause depression but I was never depressed instead porn helps
in stress-relieving. So I don't know if I should hold onto more or just relapse now. I know for sure I will overdo it or I might get addicted again. Or I could promise myself like doing it in moderation. I don't know if holding onto more would be more worth it like I can even Meditate, work out or watch Philosophy content which could help. So controlling it won't be an issue but I wonder how long should I do it and I am kinda afraid of going back to porn as well. I am having so much confusions and no answers. Nothing seems right or wrong. I am afraid of going back to porn and I am afraid of making a promise to myself. I don't know what I should do. What do you think?

 

[UncleBroom]

Hi
Well i dont know how im gonna feel about porn in future but right now i think both porn and masturbation are stupid
Last night i pictured Fergie's milf music video and wanted to MO but i didnt
And an hour later when i went to the bathroom i touched the wall and said that this wall is more real than porn and i still think about it that way i dont know maybe try masturbating with that music video i mentioned and tell me how u feel
Maybe i give up fighting too

 

[Deleted Account]

Hey, I know there are many different answers on the internet, but listen to us.

Not because we are the ones who know the truth, but because this is an independent forum, where people from all over the world speak and collectively agree about some things from their experience with PMO.

No, P is not harmless. For one, the P industry is outright evil, it exploits vulnerable people and will mess with your libido and sexual preferences. The effects of P are too long to describe in a single paragraph but I could be more thorough if you want.

Also, MO is not harmless either. Sure, you can do it in moderation, once a week at most. But really, can you? The challenge with MO is that it's also addictive, even without P. It releases dopamine in your brain, which should be a good thing, dopamine makes you feel great, but the amount is so big (since we're made to reproduce and such, it's our primary objective, biologically speaking) that you run out for a while. You feel groggy, out of energy, demotivated, etc. after MOing many times within a short period of time. Some even feel like that after MOing once.

That makes you seek more dopamine, so you MO again and again and again. It's literally a drug cycle. That will WRECK your reward system, things that usually made you feel pretty happy suddenly won't, maybe you'll feel depressed, feel apathy, etc.

So, yeah, if you can MO in moderation, sure, it's harmless, but the odds are stacked against you. Your brain chemistry is made to make you do it again and again. All that stands between you and MOing is a little bit of privacy and literally nothing else, it's always available. That's why I treat it as a dangerous drug. I didn't even mention things like ED, PIED, death grip, etc. but my comment is long enough as it is.

36 days is a great milestone, my man, keep at it. The urges are there to convince you to give in, don't listen to them. You'll regret it later.

 

[TheForsakeen]

Also, MO is not harmless either. Sure, you can do it in moderation, once a week at most. But really, can you? The challenge with MO is that it's also addictive, even without P. It releases dopamine in your brain, which should be a good thing, dopamine makes you feel great, but the amount is so big (since we're made to reproduce and such, it's our primary objective, biologically speaking) that you run out for a while. You feel groggy, out of energy, demotivated, etc. after MOing many times within a short period of time. Some even feel like that after MOing once.

same could be said of sex man, also IMO the primary objective is dragging out your life as long as possible(for whats its worth).
would you. say that amateur porn is also evil? if so why?

 

[Deleted Account]

same could be said of sex man

Well, not really. I haven't really researched (so take this with a grain of salt, I'll look it up after posting this) but I'm sure the presence of another person changes it, feromones and stuff. Of course you can also be a sex addict, but sex is not as readily avaliable as MO (unless you go the sex worker route which is dangerous AF in terms of being addictive, since it involves money and possibly STD's).

also IMO the primary objective is dragging out your life as long as possible

I was speaking in biological terms exclusively, considering we're talking about brain chemistry and stuff, in which case, it's not a matter of opinion. Every single living being on this planet is born with the intent of creating offspring. Those with higher levels of intelligence like humans, elephants, apes, etc. can aim to do different things as well, but they all fall prey to their instincts of reproducing, which is why sex and PMO are addictive. I enjoy your take on the main objective of life, though, meant no disrespect.

would you. say that amateur porn is also evil? if so why?

Well, I used the word "industry" which implies mainstream P. I don't think amateur P is evil, in fact, quite the opposite, most couples would probably say it's a fun new way to spice the relationship or something, I'd imagine. However, for the purposes of recovering from our PMO addiction, amateur P is bad since it will, most likely, lead you to other kinds of P later. It's the basic principle of escalation: as you watch more and more P, your brain becomes desensitized (just like you'd create a tolerance to other kinds of drugs, like alcohol) and seeks out harder and harder variants. That's why totally straight young men develop a taste for trans, femdom, cuckold, etc. even if they don't like it.

 

[TheForsakeen]

I was speaking in biological terms exclusively, considering we're talking about brain chemistry and stuff, in which case, it's not a matter of opinion. Every single living being on this planet is born with the intent of creating offspring. Those with higher levels of intelligence like humans, elephants, apes, etc. can aim to do different things as well, but they all fall prey to their instincts of reproducing, which is why sex and PMO are addictive. I enjoy your take on the main objective of life, though, meant no disrespect.

Agree to disagree then, by your argument a living being that can't reproduce do not have a purpose in life whereas the one thing every single living being have in common is their struggle for survival this is an essential difference between living creatures and other forms of material organization, such as stars or rocks.
Just because you have the tools to do something (reproduce, mastubate ect) doesn't mean you have to do it, i don't mean to start something here but you categorically defined the purpose of life and added that it is not a matter of opinion when there is in fact no consensus as to what it is biologically or otherwise.

 

[Deleted Account]

by your argument a living being that can't reproduce do not have a purpose in life whereas the one thing every single living being have in common is their struggle for survival

No, not at all! I think you're misunderstanding me . I'm not discussing the purpose of life, as in: why are we here and what are we meant to do? But rather what our bodies evolved to do. What our metabolic proccesses and other biological functions want to achieve. It is true that one thing all living beings have in common is their struggle for survival, you're right! I failed to mention that but surviving and reproducing go hand in hand. Maybe the better expression to explain what I meant is: every single living being on this planet is born with the intent of perpetuating its species (as in, surviving and creating offspring). That is not at all the purpose of life, there's much more to it than that for the creatures that have the extra intelligence.

you categorically defined the purpose of life and added that it is not a matter of opinion when there is in fact no consensus as to what it is biologically or otherwise.

It's just what I was taught in biology class. Sorry if I made it seem as if I was trying to impose some kind of truth.