You see today I complete 36 days of NoFap and I don't know if I should continue any further or not. I can but I don't know if I should or not. Because last night while watching some cuddling videos which gets me to some kissing videos and other hot stuff on YouTube which made me so horny. I almost relapsed. My promise to myself was to hold it till 35 days but I made a goal of 50 days. So I don't know if I should make a promise to myself again to hold till that or just relapse now. I know I will overdo it since I didn't do it for 36 days. I can make a promise to myself and still hold it more which is not hard but should I or not because last night I was not able to sleep because I had this urge. It's all gone now and I can control it finely without losing my concentration. But I don't know if it's worth it or not because as long as I hold when I give up it will be all same. I read for like 1:30 hour about porn and masturbation and I find there's not anything bad in it and there are no disadvantages. I find there are some disadvantages in porn for the brain and sex which may not be relevant to me. There are no disadvantages in masturbation and I find out there are no disadvantages in porn either if do it in moderation. And I also watch soft porn not anything abusive like that. I do admit I like abusive Japanese porn so much which gives me so much satisfaction and addiction at the same time which what happened during the break but at the same time I also work on Bot which was successful and I didn't see any disadvantages in my stamina or brain beside some addiction. I don't know if I should not masturbate, fap without porn, fap with porn. There are different answers everywhere. One thing I know for sure is Masturbation is harmless but the porn part has so many different answers. It says it has to affect sex which I am not gonna do for years and it says it shrinks the brain but depression plays more part in it. It's only bad if it's cause depression but I was never depressed instead porn helps in stress-relieving. So I don't know if I should hold onto more or just relapse now. I know for sure I will overdo it or I might get addicted again. Or I could promise myself like doing it in moderation. I don't know if holding onto more would be more worth it like I can even Meditate, work out or watch Philosophy content which could help. So controlling it won't be an issue but I wonder how long should I do it and I am kinda afraid of going back to porn as well. I am having so much confusions and no answers. Nothing seems right or wrong. I am afraid of going back to porn and I am afraid of making a promise to myself. I don't know what I should do. What do you think?