Being unmotivated after lot of failures

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by 991Pure, Jan 23, 2019.

  1. 991Pure

    991Pure Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone.
    I'm 15 years old and I have a problem with with motivation. When i begin new streak it's going easy with first 2-3 days and after i just relapse out of nowhere (despite i have no strong or even middle urges). After relapse i feel sooo down and unmotivated to do anything which causes procrastinating for long hours. My highest record was 6 days and i can't make it to full week (that fact kills me). I really want to overcome this awful addiction but i dont have motivation after so many failures and relapses.
    If anyone can help me i will be thankful.

    Have a beautiful day and keep going!
    PS. If anything is unclear please write a comment
     
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2019
  2. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Nobody can give you motivation to do something, either you have it or not.

    I think that if you have no motivation probably porn have not fuck up your life enough, maybe you need to go lower.
    Do you want to go lower?
     
    CH3RRY and 4DCreator like this.
  3. Jerry120

    Jerry120 Fapstronaut

    Dude, I was in the same position. I could never make it past a week. This was before I learned about PIED and all that sort of thing. It is very hard to stop without something really bad happening as you haven't experienced the worst. Our human tendency to be optimistic also prevents us from seeing ourselves hitting rock bottom as we think our mileage will vary. Unfortunately, we're all pretty much built the same.
     
    control your life likes this.
  4. Lauren75

    Lauren75 Fapstronaut

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    991Pure, what are you usually doing when you relapse? Is it that you're often home in the evenings, on the pc or w/e, doing something else and then you just kind automatically open a browser or something?

    If there's a pattern to it then you want to try and break that pattern. If you can instead spend the evenings at friends or take up aikido classes or start a hobby that takes you away from the phone or pc.

    Break the cycle of behaviour that puts you in a position to watch P.
     
  5. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    Hey brother. It is normal. I'm surprised when people post things like "90 days on my first try". It can be discouraging. It took me like 10 tries to get the hang of it, and believe me, I always gave my 110%, but were are not the same as other guys. We are all learning form our mistakes, and that helps to know how to deal with some situations in the future. As long as you are fully committed to this, you are going to make it, I promise.
     
  6. PathOfReform

    PathOfReform Fapstronaut

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    Most of of them end up invetably relapsing. I had 27 days on my first try, most of them I spent infront of my PC screen and they were EASY. But then, out of absolutely nowhere, urges rained down upon me for 2 days straight and I broke my streak. Since then I couldn't get past 7 days, and I kinda cheated because I fantasized the living shit out of my brain in some of those days.

    OP - This is not easy, especially for a teenager your age. It's going to be hard, you will fail again and again, but the entire point is to try your best and GET UP. Everytime you get up from it, encourage yourself, this is how you become stronger, this is how things improve. That being said: Don't tell yourself "Oh, well, it's ok to fail now, I'll learn from it and shit". That's the easiest way to enable yourself, and it's wrong. Fight it as much as you can and improve.
     
    King Arthur the likes this.
  7. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

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    Throw away or don't use the devices you have the internet on until you have more control.
     
  8. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

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    Aww, cheer up, boy :)
    Crises are normal. You are blessed to get to deal with that sort of thing at 15. Every student, athlete, professional, soldier and husband goes through those experiences. They are a normal part of any high stress occupation.
    And hey, 6 days is a start. Been there, done that.
     
  9. ImpureHuman

    ImpureHuman Fapstronaut

    Hey, You seems so unmotivated. Let's change that, Get out, go somewhere, friends or family, a trip, to keep urself busy for a week. After many failed attempt I went my family. There presence give a space in mind. A break from usual pattern of thoughts and act. And I strictly avoided alone-free time-with Internet connection which is the major trigger for M and shame and regret after.

    Know about the addiction, read about in different sources in internet. Read journals of recovering addict to get an insight of their struggle. Find a way to fight yours. We all are here to help. This community is meant for Self Help and Mutual Help. We will fight PMO together.
     
    991Pure likes this.
  10. Master Chips

    Master Chips Fapstronaut

    This is a wrong way to motivate others....
     
    LeHso likes this.
  11. 4DCreator

    4DCreator Fapstronaut

    Look at my journal. I have 11 pages there already and maybe just now I am going to achieve my first 30 days ever. Never give up.
     
  12. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    No, it's actually very good.
     
  13. CH3RRY

    CH3RRY Fapstronaut
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    I think it is actually very accurate. Soft talking doesn't help when dealing with something like this. Like he said, nobody else can truly give him the motivation, it needs to come from within him. I think it is important to give others insight and help that will encourage them, but ultimately he needs some powerful motivator created by himself.

    And when @Mattew talks about not having your life fucked up hard enough, he's referring to the fact that if you're still struggling with your addiction, you really haven't been low enough. Cause when you truly go low enough, you will never do the same things that got you there. Some might really need to go that far when they will say "not again, never again".
     
    Mattew and ImpureHuman like this.
  14. ImpureHuman

    ImpureHuman Fapstronaut

    This is true, mate. We are conscious about the addiction and trying to recover from it. Since PMO is a sensitive matter, it's secret. Nothing external influenced me to reboot. I think the misery and shame from PMO addiction drove most of us to do reboot.
     
    Mattew likes this.
  15. Master Chips

    Master Chips Fapstronaut

    I still disagree, wrong logic.
     
  16. Jerry120

    Jerry120 Fapstronaut

    You can be direct but still polite and calm. Everyone needs love especially a recovering person. Remember he or she who is addicted is not bad but made some bad choices.

    Also, let us not curse on the forum. There are people here from all over the world and view curse words differently. Let us practice putting forth our views in a direct, calm, and polite manner. Thank you!
     
    ImpureHuman likes this.
  17. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Nobody say an addicted is bad, we are all addicted here, so it won't make sense to think someone is bad.
    It's a way of viewing things, saying someone hasn't touch the bottom is not unpolite, neither not calm.

    Actually that has been true for me, i never realized i had a porn addiction, or had motivation to stop porn, until i find myself at 32 without a life, and without living one.
    So, i did not had the motivation until i was either stopping porn or killing myself.

    That is not unpolite, it just has been the truth for me, and if someone would have told me that 10 years ago it could have been helpful for me.
     
  18. Jerry120

    Jerry120 Fapstronaut

    Good to hear Mattew! Thank you for sharing!
     

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