Benefits I'm Seeing After 90 Days!!

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Soccerfan115, May 24, 2022.

  1. Soccerfan115

    Soccerfan115 Fapstronaut

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    This might be long, so I will break this post into 3 parts. I hope you find time to read this and be encouraged. Tips and advice included at the end (part 3)

    The tl:dr is that the greatest benefit of nofap is feeling truly like a man.

    1). SELF WORTH I've done the big 90. Never posted here before, but discovered the sub about 3 years ago. Got maybe 21 days, quit for 3 years, and then tried again 90 days ago. I started fapping around age 12 and then starting looking at nude images around age 18, and then looking at porn (PIV sex) around 21 (I am 24 years old). I feel emotional writing this for two reasons: 1). I am overjoyed for the positive change this brought my life 2). I am filled with remorse over ever PMOing. The most positive change is that I've gained self-respect. I've always been social, well-liked by girls (to a certain degree), and told that I am handsome. Yet somehow inside I felt emasculated, worthless, and not self confident. THIS IS BECAUSE DIGNITY DOES NOT COME EXTERNALLY BUT FROM WITHIN. From the outside I probably seemed great, but inside I did not feel like a man. I had internal insecurities that stemmed from PMO. So what does it mean to "feel like a man?" Since quitting PMO I feel filled with confident energy, deeper emotion, and a stronger sense of purpose. The only way to understand what I'm talking about is to experience it for yourself. I could have all the girls, fun, and social life in the world but still not feel alive. Again, that is because feeling alive comes from within. SO IF YOU WANT TO FEEL ALIVE THEN YOU HAVE TO CHANGE, NOT YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES. In my experience, this feeling of manhood comes from PMO abstinence (I did hard mode). The difference in how I conduct myself is night and day compared to 90 days ago, because I now conduct myself as a man and not a teenager in a 24 year olds body. I'm more responsible, creative, emotional (in a good way), diligent, and peaceful. Again I want to reiterate it: the greatest benefit of nofap is not that girls suddenly fall at your feet. I could have all the hotties in the world (which would be tight), but self-dignity and a sense of manhood is far greater a reward. The greatest benefit from nofap is feeling like a man. IF YOU ARE ASPIRING TOWARDS 90 DAYS, GET READY TO LIVE FROM SELF RESPECT, NOT FOR SELF RESPECT.

    2). WOMEN. Okay, so this is what most want to talk about. It seems in this sub that the thesis is "don't fap, and you can have the confidence to get laid." Sounds great, but that is a porn addicts way of thinking. When you stop fapping you don't need girls to throw themselves at you anymore. Let me phrase it like this: PMO me wished that he could get hot girls in bed at the drop of a dime. Non-PMO realizes that relationship with women is so much more emotionally deep. Yes, I want/like sex, but I don't want to just get laid. I want to fight for and win a woman's heart. That's what men do. Boys just want a porno experience. Men want a chance at developing a relationship with a woman, because women are people and not sex objects. PMO me would chat up girls just to flirt and tease. Non PMO me engages women because the rich conversations and shared experiences are far better than flirting and fantasizing. You might rebut "well after not fapping for 2 weeks I got laid 79 times." Good for you, but I'm not settling for a life of mindless stimulation. I'm striving towards a life of fulfillment. IF YOU ARE ASPIRING TOWARDS 90 DAYS, GET READY TO ENJOY BEING WITH WOMEN, NOT OBJECTIFYING GIRLS.

    3). TIPS AND ADVICE First week is the hardest. You're an addict coming off your dope. Don't get obsessed with tips, tricks, and ways to make it easy. You are going to have to go into the furnace of transformation, and let me tell you that you will suffer. Nothing worth having comes easy. But it is worth it, so suffer on. Week 2-4 I got really emotional. This is because I realized how weak of a man I am. I mentioned that the greatest benefit of nofap is feeling like a man. Well to get there, you first have to realize how much of a boy you are. Nofap will take the blinders off of the fantasy world you've been living in. You will confront yourself. I was emotional because I also started craving relationship. PMO numbs our inherent need for relationship with cheap stimulation. You will feel that crave strongly, and it will make you emotional. I cried a couple times for the first time in years (this is a GOOD thing). Again, suffer on. After about 3 weeks or so it's easier to say no to the urges. However, literally from week 4 or 5 UNTIL day 70 I had what I think is called flat line. Feeling less like I'm bursting at the seams with energy, and a little more asexual. You will question if it is even worth it. Should I just look at porn to see if I even feel anything? Don't. To me the flat line is harder than the urges, because at least during the urges there is a strong fight. In the flat line you start to even wonder if the fight is worth it. Post day 70, is when I started to feel the fuller effects of the aforementioned self respect and dignity. IF YOU ARE ASPIRING TOWARDS 90 DAYS, GET READY TO SUFFER. IT'S WORTH IT.

    CLOSING: My advice? Just do it. Suffer. Nothing worth having is had easily. You are killing a part of yourself. Kill it. Feel the frustration, the urges, the emotions, the flat lines. Because you will come out the other end feeling like a man.



    If you have any questions feel free to DM me :)
     
  2. Kierann

    Kierann Fapstronaut

    This is a great post. I agree with every single word and your experience resonates with me quite a bit. Thank you fir sharing it and keep us posted. Also, stay strong. The fight is not over yet. It's very likely there will come other flatlines.
     
    Ace4321 and Dynamogyan like this.
  3. FreeAdventurer

    FreeAdventurer Fapstronaut

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    I'm glad for you. I take those phrases, you spoke very well!
    Now, don't fall asleep on your guard because the danger is still latent.
    Keep going!!
     
    A5SASSIN and Giorgio Aduemani like this.
  4. Flyman66666

    Flyman66666 Fapstronaut

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    Bro I also passed 90 day streak.But nothing has changed. Just nothing.
    I still have no self respect,no confidence no attraction.
    What should i do? Should i need more long streak?
     
  5. wonderful man, I'm happy for you :)
     
  6. MrSanchez

    MrSanchez Fapstronaut

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    Wow this post was amazing bro. Big props to you my guy and keep going. I can't believe you are only 24, the amount of wisdom and introspection in this post is insane.
     
    Kieran2121 likes this.
  7. stanza88

    stanza88 Fapstronaut

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    I have to say, words that i wouldn't expect from someone of your age, you are on the right path and don't take your guard down because the fight is always on; mostly when it seems ended . Great job
     
    Kieran2121 likes this.
  8. stanza88

    stanza88 Fapstronaut

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    Usually everyone links the streak with super powers or how life improves magically, but actually it is always because your mind get clearer in order to work on yourself, your life and so on. Don't ask me how because i think it's personal. For me reading has been one of the biggest help, with meditation and an healthier life style.
     
    ANewFocus and again like this.
  9. True but also 90 days may not be enough to heal an addicted brain from fapping. There are PAWS, Flatline, sexual exhaustion, brain Fog and adrenal fatigue after heavy use from pmo.
     
    ANewFocus, stanza88 and Flyman66666 like this.
  10. TheLightOne

    TheLightOne Fapstronaut

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  11. Soccerfan115

    Soccerfan115 Fapstronaut

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    Agreed! It willl take more than 90 days if you have been addicted for years like many of us have been
     
    ANewFocus and Freeddom_Taker like this.
  12. rakis

    rakis Fapstronaut

    So in short....

    I must suffer.

    ALLOT
     
    PaulPhoenix likes this.
  13. Soccerfan115

    Soccerfan115 Fapstronaut

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    It might feel like that but you have to play the long game
     
    rakis likes this.
  14. PaulPhoenix

    PaulPhoenix Fapstronaut

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    We are all in it together fam.

    OP great write up. I am ecstatic for your success. Just make sure you smell the roses everyday and remember who you are instead of who you was.
     
    rakis and ANewFocus like this.
  15. stanza88

    stanza88 Fapstronaut

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    Well, you suffered until 3 days ago....now you are starting to free yourself from it ;)
     
    rakis likes this.
  16. Soccerfan115

    Soccerfan115 Fapstronaut

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    Exactly good point!
     
    rakis likes this.
  17. This is a great post.



    I have a childhood trauma. I started with faping in age 13 ( prone faping as a child ). Started watching Porn ( CD) on 2009. Then on 2018, heard about nofap. But still today 24 is the day, i can ever achieve.

    So my qn is,
    • Can i achieve the 90, if i try again?
    • How should i do that, this time?
    • Or should i go for therapy?
    • How can i deal with the urge?
     
    Aquiantedwithsorrow likes this.
  18. AlexOOOOOOO

    AlexOOOOOOO New Fapstronaut

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    Inspiring story man. I have just hit 60 days. I feel even more excited now for the transformations to come, which I am already experiencing.
    Keep up the solid work man!
     
    Aquiantedwithsorrow likes this.
  19. Soccerfan115

    Soccerfan115 Fapstronaut

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    You too man congrats on 60 days!
     
    Aquiantedwithsorrow likes this.
  20. Kitos

    Kitos Fapstronaut

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    Man, this is so deep and true, and is not a question of age ( I'm 45) is a question of self-respect and respect for others as I sexualized all my past relationships and lost sight of extraordinary people because of it.
    Thanks for your advice is very, very helpful. Hope I can make it to 90 days and hopefully stop this insane behavior forever.

     

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