Hi, I am a 14yr old male. Sorry for the long post but I am really desperate here. I have been addicted to pornography for around 3/4 a year, first viewed it at, I think, 12. During my addiction, I always got off to straight stuff but I escalated without even knowing it, I got off to tentacle hentai, stepsis stuff, incest and loli. During this time and before, I was confident about my sexuality, I always had crushed on girls. One day I got a random unwanted thought that was something like “oh that guy is good-looking”, which in turn led to experience HOCD, was complete hell for me. Then a few weeks later I found myself getting off to me blowing another guy, and to my horror, I climaxed and felt like complete shit afterwards, crying and then went through a cycle of reassurance and doubt for a couple of months. These fantasies then got to these weird AF giant/threesome fantasies which further spiked my anxiety. Some of the reassurance I got was from NoFap when I found out that people escalated from straight porn to gay porn but then I would have this doubt that that wasn’t the case because I got off to a fantasy of giving a bj (no porn) so the doubt got worse. Another source of doubt was my friends and I used to slap each other’s asses for fun and laughs and I never thought this was gay since we weren’t doing it for the intention of feeling one another’s behinds. I feel like even if I did I would not get aroused, whereas if it was a female’s however... Question No.1 - Is fantasising the same as watching porn, and do you think I just got desensitised to straight porn which is why I had that fantasy or is having a fantasy different from straight out watching porn because I had the doubt that since I had a fantasy in my mind, not on a screen, I don’t have HOCD? Then a few days ago, I stumbled across bestiality porn (horse), and again, I got an erection (this is a few months after the gay fantasies, and a few days after me getting finally aroused to gay porn) and got an orgasm, which after, felt like I was just the most fucked up 14 year old out there coz the video was between a man and a stallion. I didn’t even have the strength to experience as much anxiety I got from HOCD and then this escalation to bestiality went on to also cause the cycle of reassurance and doubt. So I’ve been looking back at my childhood to see if I had any experiences with any animals and if I felt attracted to them in any way. Question No.2 - Is bestiality normal for a teen to escalate to, because when I was addicted to porn (in general, not bestiality) I watched it almost everyday and even more than once a day? Question No.3 - I do remember this one fantasy as a kid where it involved an animal in a book which looked like a woman (had lipstick and female clothes on), is that also normal?? (This one bothers me a lot). When I read the NoFap forums, a majority of the people who escalated are grown men, so then I obsess about the fact that I am a teen so that means that my situation is different so I truly am a zoophile, which makes me panic a lot. This escalation combined with the HOCD made me feel like complete shit so I became desperate enough to create a NoFap account and turn to you guys for some insight. Any would be really, really appreciated, please I really need some help, these is pretty confusing and scary for a teen. Thanks. P.S. Before the HOCD-causing thought and escalation to bestiality, I always had fantasies about women, never even though about sexual acts with the same sex, but then during HOCD, I obsessed that maybe when I was watching pornography, I was actually jerking off to the guy instead which also causes anxiety. Also all of my gay fantasies involved guys with really feminine characteristics (some had feminine faces, hung out with girls acted like girls). I then question myself if this is what I am attracted to but then dismiss the thought as the fantasies involved male genitalia so I become depressed again.