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Biggest challenge of my life.

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by jpsm90, Jun 18, 2018.

  1. jpsm90

    jpsm90 New Fapstronaut

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    Hello all. This is a post about my health and how I think PMO may have changed my body chemistry. I'm interested to hear your opinions since this is an embarrassing topic for me to address personally to my friends or family. I thought I could find experiences and advise through this thread. Thanks for reading and for your time.

    Two years ago, I had the perfect life in terms of health. I had never experienced any sort of illness other than the normal cold every once in a while and have gotten the flu twice.

    I started fapping to P as young as 13. By then high speed internet had been around the block for a couple of years. I would come home from school and binge at night till orgasm with ejaculation.

    I did have feelings of guilt back then and really wanted to stop due to my religious upbringing, but didn't know how. I desperately asked G-d to help me quit this bad habit.

    Regardless, I kept indulging for over a decade... till I turned 25.

    This is when my health took a turn. I got into doing lots of exercise, specifically cardio. I was not used to running but pushed myself too much, way over what I should have. At the end of workouts I would end up with salt in my face and arms (from the sweat) and would get home feeling shaky. It would take a big meal and good rest to feel normal again.

    I then made the mistake of drinking lots of coffee. Lots of it. I did it for the taste, but because it also gave me a "boost" of energy. I drank lots of coffee for about two months straight. What happens next was the detonator to my health imbalance.

    One day I went to GNC and picked up Hydroxycut Black Onyx (it's loaded in caffeine and contains yohimbe). It's supposed to provide more energy for your workouts and cut fat at the same time. I was very naive thinking that this was an all natural product, and that I shouldn't have any side effects.

    I took it for a week before working out, without any issues. Didn't feel any different. So then the following week I was rushing out to work, didn't have time for breakfast, just ate a banana, and popped a pill... When I got to work about half an hour later, I'd forgotten that I had taken the pill, without working out, no breakfast and to top it off I drank a cup of black coffee as it were water [very stupid I know]. Fifteen minutes later, I started having shortness of breath, racing heart, and high blood pressure. I didn't know what was happening. I had a surge of diarrhea immediately, as somehow my body triggered I guess, and wanted to flush out whatever had been ingested. I tried throwing up but couldn't. That day I ended up in the ER twice. I showed the Dr the pills that I'd taken and she said that they were OK and that I could continue using them [is she dumb?] I have never felt so horrible in my life. It's a state of constantly feeling like you're about to pass out, but you don't because your body is pumping so much adrenaline due to this stressful situation. I guess this triggered a panic attack and threw my heart rate off plus it cleansed my intestine.

    The week before this happened, I had been going to bed and edging for hours...maybe 2 or even 3 am before orgasm. The day this happened, I'd only slept for about four hours.

    I had to quit my job, because I could not work from how bad I was feeling, yet all blood work came back normal. That's the worst part. Where I live, doctors are very narrow minded and just want to treat the symptoms, not the root cause of the problem. They stated that it's simply anxiety and want to put me on drugs.

    I've done all sorts of blood tests, and the only things that came back low were low testosterone and my vitamin D was at 18. Normally vit D should be between 50 and 80 units. Yet I was skeptical that my symptoms could be caused by low vit D. I then have been researching ever since, and found out about adrenal fatigue. I believe the episode with Hydroxycut, plust all the years that I've been PMOing had really depleted my adrenals. I then found out what low vit D can do to you.

    I know this is not triggered by anxiety alone, as I'd never been anxious in my life before... and this episode is what triggered me feeling this way. Here's what I've been feeling for the past TWO YEARS:

    -Heart palpitations all day
    -Fatigue, as if you don't have the energy to go out and enjoy the day anymore. Can't work out, can barely work in an office. I feel so drained.
    -Extreme hunger if I skip meals, pupils dilate and feel faint; once I eat this goes away.
    -High anxiety and slightly depressed but from the current health state.
    -Insomnia. Wake up at 2 am and feel wide awake.
    -Mornings are the worst. I feel like I have to be dragged out of bed to start my day. I feel a little normal in the evenings.
    -Frequent colds
    -Body chills and cold extremities
    -BRAIN FOG, as if I were there but not there at the same time.
    -Lower back pains
    -Feel off balance when I walk. Legs feel like jello.

    The odd and stupid thing is that I kept PMOing after the hydroxycut episode since two years ago. I was still so hooked on P that I just did not see that there may have been a link between my symptoms and PMO.

    I suspect that since I've been doing this to myself for two years after taxiing my body in such a way, the body hasn't been allowed time to recover.

    I've started NOFAP and I'm now on day 13. My doctor stated that I may also have Candida and has put me on a KETO diet. It sucks, so I feel weaker and really run down. I am not taking any supplements or medication whatsoever.

    Have any of you experienced anything similar with your health, adrenal fatigue, candida, low testosterone and low vitamin D?

    How long did it take for you to recover? have you taken any supplements?

    I appreciate your support.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2018
  2. drac16

    drac16 Fapstronaut

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    I've had caffeine trigger a panic attack before. I drank an energy drink, which was full of caffeine. Energy drinks give you a short burst of energy, but it doesn't last. A few times, I've fasted from caffeine from sunrise to sunset; and it has helped. Perhaps you should try fasting from caffeine. You have nothing to lose.
     
  3. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

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    Welcome! I'm glad you're here.

    I have not had any of the health difficulties you describe. But if I can help you with the fight against porn, let me know. Keep coming back.
     
    jpsm90 likes this.
  4. Hi. Welcome to forum!

    I can tell you for sure that abstinence from draining your energy through excessive sexual indulgence is good for health. Because body can then use that energy for healing. Even if PMO is not cause of it. Also I can say for sure that it can cause hormonal imbalances. And cos of that acne, insomnia, migraines, depression, anxiety, etc can develop. Had those things myself. But that's my personal experience, I don't know whethet yours is related to PMO. But like I said, even if it isn't abstaining will still make you body stronger so it can heal.

    Anyhow, make sure you create a personal journal thread in Reboot Logs section and blog there on a regular basis. As well as just generally be active participant in various forum discussions. I recommend this to everybody new here because it's the major thing that helped me when I was first starting. Just lurking on forums, reading and learning is great. But it usually is so much more powerful to engage. It helps to keep us motivated and accountable when we are active part of community. And keeps this in front of our minds so we don't forget about importance of it and slip away in our old habits. Sharing is also therapeutic. This is a major reason why AA meetings work so good. But that was developed before internet era. These days we can get most of the same benefits online through communities like this. So don't underestimate the power of active participation.

    I would also like to suggest you to look into mindfulness meditation. It has helped me personally tremendously to learn how to deal with urges and triggers. It takes a while to get good at it and notice results, so you need to be consistent with it, but once you do it's very powerful. It has been used by sages for thousands of years to deal with various issues of the mind. And in recent decades the science is also catching up to what ancient sages have know for centuries. Meditation these days are widely used as very effective tool by psychologists for treating addiction and by neurologists for supporting recovery of the brain after physical injury. Plus it is generally a great exercise for the brain the same way as jogging is great exercise for the body.

    You gotta make sure it is proper mindfulness meditation though. "Mindfulness" meditation where we just focus on breath is more like a concentration meditation instead. It works too but differently and not as powerfully in my experience. Real mindfulness meditation however trains you to accept your urges by understanding the nature of them by observing them, not just suppress them by concentrating on something else instead. It makes you comfortable with them. And once you accept and become comfortable with them there is no need to get rid of them, so there is no need to PMO. Only reason why we PMO is because that urge, that itch in our crotch is uncomfortable, we wanna get rid of it. And then after PMO we have our release. Or we simply want pleasure. And inability to have that pleasure makes us uncomfortable. But if we accept that we can not have pleasure then resistance is gone and there is no reason to PMO.

    Acceptance and mindfulness is the key. Check out this Ted talk on acceptance and mindfulness practice, it gives a good idea of what's it's about when it comes to philosophy. The mindfulness practice as described by psychologist in a the video can be used by itself but ideally should be used as supplementation to your daily sitting meditation. Sitting meditation I personally practice and recommend to people is as explained by meditation expert in this YouTube playlist. If you don't like the monk or want other method there is this awesome smartphone app called Headspace for guided meditations.

    Wish you lot's of strength and success in your reboot journey!
     
    ROCKETMAN1 likes this.
  5. jpsm90

    jpsm90 New Fapstronaut

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    I have not had caffeine since that episode which was more than two years ago! Still no recovery.
     

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