First of all I would like to say that I am in no way implying that everyone who is not Straight is a porn or sex addict. Most people who are Gay or Bi generally know before they are exposed to pornography. I have never had any kinds or romantic attractions towards men at all(though I do vaguely recall having some weird sort of "crush" on another guy when I was 12-13, but looking back I feel this was more of a strong sense to from a friendship/bromance with him). But other than that I have only ever fantasized about being in relationships with women, and I know I want a heterosexual life with a wife and kids. I also never have fantasized about kissing another guy, or doing anything like cuddling, massaging, hand holding, slow dancing or anything that would be considered sort of "soft foreplay" I would say. Pretty much all that I find arousing about other men is their genitalia. Also, the stuff I am into always has to have some sort of "feminine" aspect about it I would say. Stuff like she-male, forced bi, sissy, Twink, CD etc. So in a sense, it is not fully 100% man on man, as usually a girl is involved in some way or it is not masculine guys together. I also do recall hearing somewhere that viewing any kind of porn, regardless of ones sexual orientation, still triggers dopamine receptors. This kinda goes hand in hand with porn being like a drug, as you will need more stimulating material to get that buzz feeling from it.
Is that a fact? I would argue that most who think they know these days have been indoctrinated. Also, why are you capitalizing gay and bi? Gary Wilson of YBOP made a video a while ago about the need for novelty among porn users. While I never have, don't currently and probably will not ever agree with his stance that masturbation alone is harmless, I agree with him on how destructive porn can be. Heterosexual males like you who have bisexual curiosities likely develop them exclusively as a result of excessive porn usage. You seem to be well aware of this in your heart and mind.
I feel you bro… I wat chef cuckold, forced bi, humiliation, femdom porn for 7 years. I’ve quit porn for around 22-23 days now… I’m not gonna lie to you and tell you that my urges and my fantasies have disappeared fully but I do feel much much better, and I believe with more time I’ll get better. My advice is quit porn for good, it is not an easy road I promise you that but if you hit rock bottom like I did then the motivation to quit porn will overcome any hardship in quitting porn, and the results and how better you get will be evident and with enough time the voices in the back of your head will completely disappear. Good luck bro!
Hey First time here. I can really relate to what you wrote. I'm a married man, I consider myself straight, and I feel that porn and cuckolding change me so much to the point I am attracted to dicks. Mainly big ones, cause I have a small one. It got so bad that I actually joined grinder and met with men and gave them oral. I am just now starting to try and quit porn with the hope that will change. I feel like porn told me I am a beta and I should admire alpha men, men with big dicks that can pleasure women
If the porn escalation from the addiction has gotten that bad, to the point of it making you question sexuality, then its time to stop for a long time. No exceptions. relapsing once a month isn’t an exception, no once a week.. etc. you need to recover for atleast 50-90 days. No porn, masturbation, and obviously orgasm. (Unless unintentionally so, like a wet dream) you do this, and your mental, physical and emotional health will be optimal again.
Everyone has their own method and solution.. there is no solid blue print. I faced literally the same issue and I’m recovering the only thing that’s for sure in your method is do not watch any porn anymore. The damages porn does to your brain and physically will be noticed after you quit. I’ve been clean for 28 days and I already feel better. I still have sex with my girlfriend and it’s been working
Good luck! Trust me this is the best decision you’ll ever make in your life. Porn actually destroys lives and I’m lucky I caught it now at 23 rather than later
Thanks man, I'm on my 3rd week and having a hard time. I just want the thrill, the excitement, something new that will make my heart go like crazy! I can't get that with my wife, and I can't find a hot girl, so I keep wanting to go back to grinder to find a man that will make me feel small, that will give me that excitement :/
I have a similar story OP and can say that the urges definitely have subsided to become pretty incidental as time goes on with no porn. They still come, but feel easier to "move on" from. I notice, like you, the excitement that comes from indulging the thought, but there is a sort of detachment from it that is easier to obtain. Great move to avoid porn, it really is the only way. I think the other factor is learning how to better manage fantasies which can be triggered almost incidentally by random everyday events. Good luck and continued success
Yeah I do have to agree that due to how hyper sexual our society is, as well as how we seem to encourage people and almost pressure them to identify as something else than straight probably has lead a lot of people to be confused. Also I guess I just capitalized them since they are terms defining a group of people lol. Of course like I said plenty of people actually are gay/bi. I have a family member who grew up in the age before internet porn and when society was much less hyper sexualized. He also grew up in a community which was and still is to some extent very traditional. He actually is gay and knew from a relatively young age that he was attracted to men in the same sense that a straight guy is attracted to women.(Still finds them physically attractive but also finds them emotionally and spiritually attractive). I also saw a post on another thread like this awhile back, in which a guy who claimed to actually be gay stated more or less the same thing I did(attracted to women's genitalia but not an actual romantic attraction or even a full body type of physical attraction). Also, I do recall stumbling across a study stating that no one is 100% straight or gay. Personally, I think this is not an actual reflection of peoples sexuality. True sexuality is an actual emotional and spiritual connection to a person, as well as finding them physically attractive in a non sexual sense. This study was probably skewed in multiple ways to reflect the more modern, hyper sexual definition of sexuality. Point is, people who are gay and bi people have always existed in the same way straight people have in terms of actual sexuality. But I would argue alot of bi and gay people nowadays are mislead.
Yeah man I feel ya on that a bit. The porn you watched wasn't about two gay guys having sex in the sense vanilla porn shows a man and a woman having sex. It was designed to brake you down as a man and make you feel inferior, then show you that you can only have sexual pleasure by being useful to these "Alpha" types. Your dick probably is within average parameters. A lot of women actually prefer more average sized penis due to the fact that they feel better.
Yeah I feel that me pushing the limits and engaging in something considered more taboo makes me feel more attracted towards it.
What are your values? If you have never done this, find out, it may take some time. You may have few or many, some are more important than others. Are you living your life by your own set of values? Failure to adhere to our own values causes the pain which we all frequently endure. This is obviously emotional. For instance, if we value honesty, it hurts when we lie or if we are lied to. If we value adventure, our lethargy may prevent us from adhering to that value, thus pain. If you are good to go, then keep on trucking my friend. However, if you think there is someone wrong with both your thoughts and your behaviour, then it may be worth taking some time to re-examine what is important to you in this life. Shame means something, guilt means something, these are negative emotions, that is a fact. If you experience these emotions or if you are even taking action to facilitate these emotions then you are ignoring what they are and what they mean. What is shame? Many things including a feeling of humiliation and distress. Guilt is the feeling of having committed some sort of offence, even against yourself. What are the opposites? Shamelessness i.e. being bold, confident. The opposite to guilty is obviously innocent, but the opposite of guilt is honor and pride. Which of these feelings would you wish on your loved ones? I am beginning to understand that we can choose. The correct decisions never feel bad. I wish you luck.
I'd go as far as to say that it's more than obvious that people today are being misled, lied to, manipulated, coached and influenced. As far as gayness being a totally natural phenomenon goes, I'd encourage you to read some material by gay author Douglas Murray. There is a fascinating part in one of his books, Madness Of Crowds, in which he addresses his own gayness and how and why it may have come about. Interestingly, he doesn't furiously dismiss the often touted "insensitive" or "extreme" theories of people like myself when it comes to this particular topic. Something else I want to add is that I have a longtime friend who was gay even before I met him which, if memory serves me, was in 2005. In any case, it was long before being LGBTQ123XYZ+- was so popular. He has always had kind of a similar attitude to that of Douglas Murray: non-dismissive, unemotional. He is very open to the possibility that his sexuality was somehow molded, for lack of a better word. He grew up in a fatherless home (like pretty much every gay male I have ever personally known). I don't know if this is the case for your family member but I wouldn't necessarily hesitate to bet at least a few dollar bills that while he was part of a traditional community, things weren't exactly the traditional definition of "normal" at home. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. As for you, I hope that you find a way to get healthy and clear your doubts one way or the other. Quit porn and see what happens.
I feel you...with time i got bored of straight porn and i started to search that same hype of dopamine in the trans section. At the beginning i felt mostly ashamed of myself (of course just after i would came) but the dopamine was there and i got at the point that i started to think about meeting a trans escort and challenge my sexuality (i'm really open minded). Well i did and more times and the pleasure has always been more about the thought of what was going to happen that no the encounter itself. I also tried to be passive and i hated and then after a year i tried it again. I started to question my sexuality but i also realized how i was never attracted to a man on a normal daily situation. I've been so confuse about this situation until i realized i have an addiction, i started to analyze the effects of it and understand how porn was shaping my mind and how now it is difficult to leave those triggers behind
I will have to research into this guys works, just looked up the Madness Of Crowds and it seems worth the read. Also, do you happen to have any quotes or statements by him you can cite me about his claims of homosexuality? I would be very interested in reading into them. As for my Gay relative, the community he grew up in was in pretty rough shape and he witnessed a few traumatic things growing up, including seeing a young man get chased down and shot a few feet in front of him when he was only a pre teen. His family was pretty bad towards him even before he came out. So much so that apart from his sister whom he has always been close with he does not speak to any of them at all. It is possible his sexuality may have been caused by what he went through as a child, but I am also keeping the option open that some people are just born gay or bi. Overall, I want to kill off this issue before it grows.
I don't have any of his quotes on homosexuality as this is something that's not relevant to me. I read his books for his thoughts on culture, politics, immigration, etc. You may want to look up "Douglas Murray quotes" but I think you'd be best off finding yourself a copy of Madness Of Crowds and going from there. It really is worth the read. As for your family member, I figured something would be at least a bit off from a traditional upbringing. If you dig deep enough with people who are (convinced they are) gay, I feel like you always find something like abandonment or abuse or other types of trauma. It's really unfortunate but that should give us a lot to think about. You may also want to look into the work of the late Dr. Robert Heath -- specifically with "Patient B-19." The overlords of the internet are trying to bury his findings for very obvious reasons; it's becoming increasingly more and more difficult to find unbiased articles about this man and his experiment on a quest to learn more about and potentially "cure" homosexuality.
