bklynmike sex addict

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by mmail6950, Jul 8, 2018.

  1. mmail6950

    mmail6950 Fapstronaut

    Thank you creating a page like this. Porn was never my thing. I have fantasies in my mind with people I see in the street, people I talk to online or sexual encounters i have had. Yes

    Michael survivor and recovering addict. I am 35 years old born and raised in Brooklyn New York. I served 14 years in the military. I was diagnosed as a sex addict after I confessed my life was out of control during my last deployment.

    I never thought that I was a survivor until someone told me to read “silently seduced” and the book changed my life. I honestly thought that my issues were covert incest until I started going to the rooms and thinking back on my past. I found out my mother and my 2 aunts were myperpetrators, they showered with me until the age of 10. I also have a vague memory of 2 other times one by someone in the Boy Scouts and another with my Step Mother’s nephew (that memory came foggy yesterday). I feel like any day now I am going to break down and cry. My addiction was always dating websites and then meeting those people for sex. I was recently diagnosed as bi-polar & PTSD. I need help and want to refrain as long as I can.

    I have 2 children and my oldest is at the age where I remember having memories so I want to love myself as well as provide an amazing safe place for them. I know that I have a lot of hard work to do.

    I am thankful to be part of this group.
    jjmc2018 and STAR DUST like this.
  2. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

    Thank you for sharing your story!

    This is a tough road to travel but worth it. I find focusing on love and compassion for myself and others has really helped me. I also found that letting my emotions happen is a huge piece of my recovery. I have cried nearly every day of my sobriety so far. I’ve spent 22 years running from my feelings and using porn and various other things to his from them.

    Stripping away all external things I use to cope with feelings and past experiences has left me raw. And with the help of people here, my therapist, my family, and sex addicts anonymous 12 step fellowship I’m seeing some changes that I don’t even like thinking about cuz I don’t want to jinx myself. :) But I’m slowly getting better. It’s a painful journey but I’m so grateful I am working through all this crap rather than running from it.

    I really wish you the best and pleas reach out to me any time!

    STAR DUST Fapstronaut

    You’re in the best place! You did the right thing.
  4. We talk ourselves into believing it must be our fault b/c we let it happened or maybe liked it or like the Attention we got for co operating. Work on forgiving yourself then if possible them. Don’t forget what happened but when I finally confronted then forgave my abuser after almost 50 years. I realized how sad a man he was. It freed me more so than him.
    Best of luck on your journey.
  5. mmail6950

    mmail6950 Fapstronaut

    I love my mother and aunt but this journey has lead me to see how broken they are. It doesn’t fix everything or hurt less.
  6. True.
  7. So how are you doing? I noticed you haven’t added anything since Monday.
    Are you ok?

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