Blaming Porn & the Cycle

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by BillyBobBoBoBo, Apr 3, 2020.

  1. So been thinking about with my journey with Nofap for 3/4 years. As with going to therapy for 2 years, made me realise that I am using nofap as an excuse to not sort out my issues, putting all my eggs in one thinking if I stop my porn addiction that would sort out all of my problems & I would automatically get better. But with me keep on relapsing I keep putting off the other issues I need to sort out in my life just focusing on not looking at porn, without trying to sort out other things. Though not like I’m doing nothing, I do a lot of exercising, but not doing more for my mental health & more of the responsibilities that I have, which mine are online personal training course that I need to complete, but was talked into it as was unemployed at the time, thinking it was going to help as well, but wasn’t in a good mindset at the time & have been avoiding it as of it being a 3 year course, which a year has already passed. But yeah been using porn and relapsing as an excuse to not to improve my situation. Which needing to change as moved into a new apartment with my girlfriend & to try and work on myself more.
     
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  2. Gmork

    Gmork Fapstronaut

    A lot of us feel the exact same way @BillyBobBoBoBo
    But you're absolutely correct.
    Perhaps many people expect too much from a few days on a counter, and often they try to accomplish too much at once, and expect it to just happen if we cut out porn.

    But .. the various side effects of porn addiction do clearly throw an invisible blanket over our focus, and dull our motivation for anything other than more porn.

    I think if you choose a couple of key things (mental health, exercise, choose a thing) and use your counter as a way to focus on those first, then other rewards will follow in time.
    It doesn't happen overnight.
    Improvement is cumulative, but we have to measure our progress.
    Otherwise it just feels as though we're stuck in a loop.
    Why don't we try to log our progress for a week?
    Write down the good points each day, - rather than reinforcing this tired old cycle.

    What was that quote? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results.

    Thankyou for posting this today.
    You have given me food for thought.
     
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2020
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  3. QuiggyG

    QuiggyG Fapstronaut

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    I've amount times I've relapsed after a week or two weeks....I can't even keep up now. I had the same mindest; NoFap would sort out all my issues, but it didn't. I discovered it leads you to have more initiative in areas you did not focus on during PMO, but you have to be careful not to think too much about NoFap either, otherwise the addiction will always be on your mind. What has been helping me recently is thinking about exercise, my studies and things I look forward to in the future. Try not to worry about the past either; what you have done, is done. If I keep up this reset with different measures that I had in places during previous attempts, I think I may well and truly break the cycle.
     
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  4. Yeah I feel that it causes excuses for not changing them selves fully for the better.

    Oh of course, I feel I am suffering a lot from that as well, as with everyone else on this site is going through. As it doesn’t help as going through a lot of anxiety as of drama in my personal life, using porn as a comfort blanket.

    Yeah I want to find something else more productive to do as well work on my mental health as well keeping up my exercise routine as well. Yeah that sounds like something that would be beneficial of writing the good stuff of my day, instead of keeping all the bad stuff all inside. Yeah they is a benefit to the counter, just need to make more of an effort to do more to improve my life.

    Yeah I think that is the right quote.

    & thank you for the reply, you’ve given some good food for,thought.
     
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  5. Fair enough, there are things I should be more focused on that would help me in my future, but feel too much dread in doing and avoid it by also distracting myself with YouTube as well. Yeah I have a lot of anxiety and overthink on a lot of things of my life and in my head. Which makes it hard at the moment, but something as want to work on.
     
  6. Gmork

    Gmork Fapstronaut

    You and I are different in age, but similar in thought I believe.
    This is a good place to be as introspective as you want to be.
    I find journaling my thoughts here is really helpful.
    It gives me the space to put my thoughts into words, rather than just chaos in my head.
    It's difficult to know where to begin when you're totally overwhelmed by your own thoughts.
    Writing about it can help to unravel some of the mess.
     
  7. Yeah I’m in my mid 20s & yeah that is understandable, just more concerned that I wouldn’t bother as part being lazy and not wanting to be too open.
     
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