Blocked, Blocked, and Blocked again. .

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Noland, Jun 26, 2017.

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  1. Noland

    Noland Fapstronaut

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    The title says it all. I always feel like I'm getting blocked (by girls specifically). Okay that's me over exaggerating so I'll give you some context.

    I have a lot of friends and most of them are female. Everything is always going great and I guess I've only been blocked about 5 times in my life but it is truly annoying! Usually I wouldn't care, but when I get blocked on social media or text or whatever, my brain just starts being really negative. I could not care about the girl at all, but once I'm blocked, my brain is all over the place.

    I feel like I get blocked at least once when my reboot streak is getting a little high. How can I stop myself from caring? What should I do?
     
  2. ShaunyThunder

    ShaunyThunder Fapstronaut

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    Sounds like me. I just went through a quarter life crisis because of stuff like that. Know your triggers for contacting women when you probably shouldn't. I've had a tendency to only blow my problems at women and it tends to create a really negative and needy relationship. The relationship has to be mutual. Don't ever think you are going to connect if its you leaning on them without them investing in you. If you find conversations only center on you, distance yourself.
     
  3. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    Blocking someone, in my experience, is a pretty extreme measure. I've only been blocked when I've really upset someone--and I'm usually not surprised when it happens. You're making it sound like these women are just arbitrarily blocking you. I don't want to point a finger, but are you doing anything in particular to rub these women the wrong way?
     
  4. Noland

    Noland Fapstronaut

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    The last person who blocked me (today), had some secret reason. This is how the convo went and keep in mind we rarely spoke in the Past and when we did, it was about class.

    Me: *Some random joke about sliding in the DMs* (Wasn't inappropriate). Hey, how're you

    Her: Do I know you ? (I had a new phone).

    Me: Oh I have a new phone but I still have my contacts so I was just checking up

    Her: *Reads message* *Blocks me*

    I even told myself before hand that if she didn't respond then it's whatever, I have other people, but just seeing her block me had me feeling some type of way
     
  5. Noland

    Noland Fapstronaut

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    I really do need to talk less when I'm like this, it's just hard and I need more restraint and practice at it. The bad thing is that the more practice at it I get, the more I'll probably get blocked hahah.
     
  6. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    I think you kind of answered your own question here ... at least with this scenario.

    1) She didn't know who you were, and you didn't announce who you were.
    2) Your first message to her was a joke that you admit was inappropriate.

    So you're someone she doesn't know, who is talking to her inappropriately. Why wouldn't she have blocked you?
     
  7. Atlanticus

    Atlanticus Moderator Assistant

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    Hey, bro!

    Dunno what goes on in your convos, but to defend the occasional blocker: could it be that (part of) the answer lies in your question? After all, you say you "could not care about the girls at all" (!) but once she blocks you, you instantly start to care a lot ... about THAT?!

    So do you come across as an obvious player? Personally, if it becomes clear that a person is insincere, is phishing, is terminally wasting my time, is manipulative, just killing time, seriously negative, terminally egocentric, and/or says one thing but then reveals there is a different agenda... guess what... I block, too, and though I admit that blocking is inherently rude, I figure I may have done one or both of us a favor, in the end[​IMG].

    Now, I would not cut people off like that in real life, i.e. if I actually knew the person, but in this world of virtual fantasy...and I really do not want to sound harsh, I feel justified in avoiding those who do seem unworthy of the benefit of the doubt.

    Just saying…
     
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2017
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  8. Noland

    Noland Fapstronaut

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    The last girl was random. Besides her, my relationships with friends are always going well, but when one thing happens, it's over. By one thing, I mean an argument. It's probably because I rarely argue and because of that, multiple smaller arguments are replaced with one huge argument.

    The first time I remember being blocked was my freshmen year of college. This girl and I would always talk, but at the time I guess I was needy in a way. She would always respond slowly or not at all sometimes and act like nothing happened when she saw me everyday. She was so confusing. We would talk on the phone for hours on hours, but when it came to texting, I was lucky to even get a response. We had 2 arguments in our whole "friendship." I forgot what it was about, but I remember staying on the phone with her for 3 hours just to fix it. And the second one was only through text. That ended because I told her I didn't care anymore and to forget I texted. She said I was insensitive and only cared about myself and then screenshotted everything and blocked me. Whenever I get criticism, I always use it to better myself. Was she a hypocrite? Yes, but it doesn't mean I wished anything bad for her. From what I hear from my friends(a lot of people), she has a really bad reputation now, and I don't feel good about that one bit. I could have helped her if I was a better person. I just liked her too much at the time.
     
  9. Noland

    Noland Fapstronaut

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    I feel like I'm none of those things EXCEPT for when I am mad. When I am mad, it's like everything that's bothered me wants to come out. I've also noticed that whenever I start talking to a new girl that I'm interested in, I abstain from PMO longer than usual. I know everything adds into the mix, but how do I not let it tear my up inside? I just feel broken when I get blocked. I feel as if no matter what I do, I'll get blocked.

    It feels like I'm just keeping up a ruse for people to like me and they leave me when the facade is broken. But I know his is the real me, I just also have another small side of me that ruins things. I always learn more and I become an even better person after being blocked, but again, how do I not let this tear me up inside?
     
  10. Noland

    Noland Fapstronaut

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    I said that it wasn't inappropriate, not in the least. And she did know me. She blocked me AFTER I announced who I was.
     
  11. Noland

    Noland Fapstronaut

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    These posts are really giving me insight guys, thank you. Keep it coming.

    Right now my mind is under the pretense that maybe I have some reputation at my school that I don't know about. I go to a fairly small university so sometimes when I introduce myself to people, they say they've heard of me. I hope that means good since I'm awesome to be around at first at least.

    Although, there was this one time I spoke to a girl and she was telling me that she heard something about me. When I asked if it was good or bad, she said it wasn't good. But she kept laughing and wouldn't tell me. This was a while ago. A long while.
     
  12. Noland

    Noland Fapstronaut

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    I have another question everyone. Although it sounds simple, how do I not send inappropriate texts. Sometimes these texts are iniated by the girls themselves, but I no longer want to react to them. How do I stop myself? Even though I've never been blocked because of that and never had a complaint about it, I think it opens doors to being blocked.
     
  13. ShaunyThunder

    ShaunyThunder Fapstronaut

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    You need to treat this like you treat porn. The problem is your addicted to talking to these girls.
    "How do I stop myself?"
    How do you stop yourself from watching porn? Work it so that it applies to this.
     
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  14. Noland

    Noland Fapstronaut

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    I don't want to say I'm addicted, but I think I am. I hate being alone. When I say I talk to a lot, I meant it. During the school season, I average meeting 10-15 girls a week (even so, getting blocked by 5 girls hurt and I don't know why). I'm never afraid to flirt, especially when I'm not PMO'ing. I feel like if I stop talking to girls, I have no choice but to go back to PMO. I make trying to change that view very seriously. I just want to talk to girls without seeing them as sex objects, because they aren't.

    I didn't always have high esteem, so I think being blocked brings about the rejection I used to always feel. I don't like it at all.
     
  15. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    Ah. My apologies, I misread your explanation.
     
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  16. ShaunyThunder

    ShaunyThunder Fapstronaut

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    I think that's your problem. Your mindset. You keep using words like "I have to" and "I have no choice". Always a choice if your willing put in the effort to break it.
     
  17. Noland

    Noland Fapstronaut

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    Darn you thunder lol. Okay, you're right on that. What should I do?
     
  18. Sanic

    Sanic Fapstronaut

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    Man dude, i am going through the exact same thing i have had a lot of friends completely start to hate me and completely ignore me. (most male cuz i dont want a gf! no like literally. not cuz of porn)
     
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  19. ShaunyThunder

    ShaunyThunder Fapstronaut

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    Well the only solid thing I can think of is put barriers between you and the girls. Get someone you know to keep you accountable for your actions. Get creative, sky's the limit for what you can do to stop yourself.
     
  20. Noland

    Noland Fapstronaut

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    That would mean that I would have to be open with people in real life about these issues. . It's going to be a while before I can take that step.
     

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