Blockers don't work for me

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by joyjoy311, Nov 26, 2021.

  1. joyjoy311

    joyjoy311 Fapstronaut

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    I made a long post a while ago blocking everything.

    And it was a great idea at first, but it didn't worked out, probably because I have no accountability to anybody and I don't really care about anybody in general, it sounds harsh but present me is empty emotionally towards validation from others, good or bad is nothing, nothing upsets me and nothing makes my day.
    I think blocking its great when you are far in a streak and you don't just write 2 words enter and relapse, a blocker gives you the chance to rethink.
    Actually I went between 3 days relapse and 3 days clean, I am kinda fallen out in an old behavior to not be able to go past 3 days and its becoming harder to get out from addiction like day 1 two years ago.
    This week I heard a song from childhood and I kinda "relapsed" in my old songs from my highschool for a few hours and I remembered myself how great of a kid I was, I felt how much I miss my colleagues, myself from being kind of popular, liked by girls, confident in my dreams, writting poetry. So last night I wrote on a paper all triggers, all bad habbits that sort of lead into a relapse, to also fight the slacking that leads to depressive behaviors and eventually into porn, I wrote myself some good behaviors to replace the bad behaviors and how to start my mornings and how to plan my next day without being a stress bomb for a fucked up reward system.
    The most important piece is that I put a photo of me as a child above the monitor and I know I can't relapse like that, because I tried this in the past and I simply removed the photo and relapsed after few days, it defintely was something subconscious, I found a stupid reason like cleaning and never put it back. This morning as day 1, it damn worked, I woked up really horny because of the other day and I wanted to unblock but as I saw the imagine, I looked into the list I wrote and I didn't ignored trigger killers.
    I think in my case only the old innocent me can defeat this filth, I actually need to go back 10 years emotionally and re-learn to have same determination and consistency because my strength is not enough, the loneliness and shitty life I am living, most would have given up on it, porn took away a lot of my life and I literally have left only one cat and one dog, no job, no life, no friends, no hobbies, nothing to love, even the people I should love, I feel nothing for them, I am nothing at this moment, just a conscious suffering, but I will do it and regain my life back and do all the hobbies I wished as a kid, I will make my old me kid happy because I probably won't be able to have kids after this shit addiction.
    For me simply blockers don't work, I am unstoppable and I wish one day to put this trait into something constructive rather than destructive, I will let them enabled to have the chance for a second thought but they simply don't work when I am enabled, I need to kill the mood and wake up to reality and address to the innocence I still have left and reject the filth and degradation.
    I think my little story can work for othes too that feel lost.
     
    devsMind likes this.
  2. lonercub

    lonercub Fapstronaut

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    Do you say blockers don't work because you disable them? Do you mean porn filters software?
     
  3. The blockers helped me at first, but not for long. My tech skills combined with my addictive tendencies perversely turned the act of disabling all my blockers into a kind of thrill. Ultimately i realized I couldn't really "jail" myself that way - I always had the key, you know? So instead I just put up a post-it note on my dresser that reads: "Let the time pass, let the feeling fade, gently move your focus elsewhere." This works better for me since in the end nothing will stop me from seeking out porn, except me.
     
  4. PegasusKid

    PegasusKid Fapstronaut

    Yeah, they never really did a lot for me either besides provide a bit more of a barrier to pulling up porn. It doesn't do much on it's own but it can be an aid among other tools and such. Hopefully you figure something out that works for you.
     
  5. joyjoy311

    joyjoy311 Fapstronaut

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    Yes, I actually had a long 10 day streak once without any blocker and I think just blocking for me makes it a challenge to relapse lol, I still need to find inner emotional reasons to not relapse rather than blocking, but it certaintly helps having filtered out soft triggers or sites that aren't really useful but you see there a naked woman or something.

    Yes indeed, I kinda have some tech skills too. If I am gonna have a kid I add his PC on an windows server and I will block everything from the server, its so hard to keep pornography and shitty websites blocked especially when you know how things works. A true blocker would come directly from the ISP, this is the only solution and once they set a blocked category you can change it once per year, but I guess they don't want to lose clients haha, I would probably not go that far chaning my ISP because I am not a Karen but blocking porn at this moment it seems impossible for me, without involving a second person at least.

    Yea for me it works my inner self, I went like 10 days streak without any blocker whatsoever, I relapsed then mostly because of social media and other websites that I didn't realized are soft triggers, but my most successful streaks of 14 days, like a few of them during the past 2 years worked because of inner motivation, emotional motivation, and I relapsed because of womans, I somehow exposed myself unconsciously to snapchat, facebook, twitch, 9gag even an youtube small channel and girls got naked by themselves I didn't do much, they liked me and showed everything for weeks and since they weren't here as real people, still images and videos as porn I always relapsed. I might be a casanova when I am not on porn, but my longer streaks got ruined by real womans and I honestly need to stop exposing myself to them for like 6 months and if they are not from real life, and I also need a woman that is more old school and likes sex without influences or modern kinks.
     
  6. Phoenix Beyond

    Phoenix Beyond Fapstronaut

    This point really resonates with me BIG time. Everytime I'm on a good streak for 7 days ++, women start to show heavy interest in me. This is actually a problem, cause a seed of desire emerges and starts to grow. Eventually it turns into a relapse after 2-3 days... I'm wondering how to go about this issue or "problem".
     
  7. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    In my opinion it depends on the configuration you have, and the sort of things you're doing to strengthen your configuration. So getting rid of devices, admin privileges, disabling certain settings, functions etc.

    The less hassle it is to get around your blocking configuration the less your blocking configuration will work. The more hassle it is to get around your blocking configuration the more your blocking configuration will work.

    If it isn't that much hassle to get around your blocking configuration then of course it is unlikely to work.

    But the problem is a lot of people want a high level of technical, internet convenience, yet they also don't want to easily be able to get around their blocking configuration. The more convenience you have the weaker your blocking configuration will be. The more inconvenience you have the stronger your blocking configuration will be.
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2021
  8. joyjoy311

    joyjoy311 Fapstronaut

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    An effective blocker for me would be my pc set on a windows server and have disabled services, registries, task manager, whatever you can think off, because I will find a solution to disable it. Even if I can't disable it, I will still find some of the pornstars that are in my memory with non-nude pictures and edge, have fantasies or relapse, or even masturbate with nothing but memories, for myself a blocker just setups a challenge to relapse.

    I think blockers are the last plan, its like the extra button you have to take a second thought, to react, but for that people like me need to learn a behavior that kills those triggers. What blockers do great for me is killing the soft triggers, like casual websites that are actually dangerous for someone that sees sex everywhere.

    For me it needs to be a higher reason to defeat this addiction, I am quite not materialistic, I really don't care about my status, my money, the respect from people, and its not because of porn, I am simply an emotional person that wants love and thats it and if I can't love myself right now, at least I can love the younger me that still lives with me and has to go in all the abusive shit I am doing right now. Its like thinking I am selfish abusive parent, that cares about the addiction rather than what I love, I don't see it as double personality or anything like that, but I see as the responsability towards love and innocence a person can have and at least for me I think this is the right value to push forward and restart my life with the right mentality and truly experience love.

    Like I have blockers enabled right now and I know exactly how to relapse in like 5 minutes. And I have to work on pc, I cannot block many things such as admin and if emotionally and mentally I feel to relapse I will do it anyway. Blockers are good for that grey area of soft triggers, social media, useless sites that trigger dopamine levels etc. We are the true blockers but we need to find the right specific reason.
     
    devsMind likes this.
  9. joyjoy311

    joyjoy311 Fapstronaut

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    Yea for me too, I do almost no effort, I definitely expose myself to them, it was always a woman in my case when I was far in a streak.

    What I am gonna try next, I will consider day 14 as day 1, whenever I realize "oh shit.. I haven't thought of that and did that", I will think like its day 1 again and I need to reinforce my emotional and mental motivation like I need to do it all again from scratch, having an overkill mentality again, because things as they go day by day we tend to let the guard down and this is actually exposing me to real womans, saying something to them, engaging in conversations etc.

    I will avoid all apps and all womans in general for like 6 months when I am at least 30 days in and then look for real life womans, no more snapchat, facebook, instagram, youtube, I will not engage in any conversation with any woman that doesn't live in my area. I will focus on my life being fixed, having a job and taking care of my pets for a while, that will definitely makes my streak go easier, right now its ultra hardcore, being completely alone and having to work on pc in a depressive enviroment.
     
    ReInForced_Elk likes this.
  10. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I do feel sorry for people who can't restrict things on their computer the way they want to because of their work.

    Have you ever tried plucky?
     
  11. psalm 88

    psalm 88 Fapstronaut

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    I have found a configuration that works for me unless you reset or can hack things, and if you do you can always block registry, command prompt, lock your bios, glue your motherboard and so on. My issue is that after some nofap time I start to doubt that maybe porn is not that bad, that I need it and relapse...
     
  12. diep

    diep Fapstronaut

    You couldn't do it on your own. I've learnt it the hard way. You have to seek another way to deal with this nasty addiction.
     
  13. Don'tLookBack

    Don'tLookBack Fapstronaut

    Yeah same thing for me. There's ALWAYS a way around them if I really want it. I've realized that blocking the choice away from me does nothing to help. It actually just tempts me even more. But if I have the option to use and I don't use it, then that feels empowering because it's a conscious choice. Blockers work for some, hinders others. I try not to get caught up in the minute details, but just focus on the fact that I don't want PMO in my life anymore. That's what I'm working towards.
     
  14. Josehp

    Josehp Fapstronaut

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    I advise you to look for God my friend, he is the only one who can help you to get out of that vice as he did with me and so that you can grow as a person / Never give up /
     
    diep likes this.
  15. Overforme

    Overforme Fapstronaut

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    Blockers don't work at all. It's a band aid solution and doesn't work on the root. Find the root cause of it all and you will be a success.
     
  16. joyjoy311

    joyjoy311 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for replies guys

    They have a psychological impact, like feeling you don't see the other side of the wall and you actually have to climb it, however for me it never works, it enables me into thinking about it and I need to do the opposite, I need to do other things, even being on this forum makes me think about it. Its good to remove soft websites and social media that might have triggers, not being exposed to these gateways its really good to go day by day.

    I am gonna go again for hypnosis, it worked a few times but I never was consistent with it for many days in row. God or a higher power helps me if I want to believe I can do it, I am in that dark spot I don't even feel I wanna do it anymore, its not that honest genuine feeling, its more like a conscious choice. I am not into churches, prayers and stuff but when I feel I can be honest I have a conversation with God before sleep, it usually ends well but I need to feel I truly want it, I don't wanna have not honest conversations in my mind.

    Exactly, it actually makes it worse. The best solution I think is to work out twice a day and I will be drained and much more disciplined and stronger mentally. That would be 1 pillar step, secondly would be to work out my goals in a non-stressful manner, I have to toxic mindset to burnout myself or set goals too high or too many goals, its a bad mindset to think about doing something like it needs to be done rather than doing it with pleasure. I am stressing myself too much.

    No I can't lock it up, only some policies from ISP could restrict me, but I will look after the names I know and do it anyways on the non-nudes, I need to find the motivation, to snowball emotionally into a goal and get used to a new life with new behaviors.
     
    devsMind likes this.
  17. it didnt work for me as well. I mean it did work but not like reduce relapses to 0 , it reduced it a lot .
    What worked for me is controlling thoughts
     
  18. devsMind

    devsMind Fapstronaut

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    I think purpose of blockers itself when it comes to PMO is a little misunderstood, 0.03$ from my side:

    It’s not like one needs to be especially tech gifted to figure out how to remove blocker which that same person has set-in my opinion fact that person was able to set something like parental control or pretty much any PMO “security” indicates that given enough time and effort that person will be able to workaround/remove it-it’s not IF but WHEN. ;)

    And that’s the point here-when the urge appears (and it will appear) that blocker gives you opportunity to more consciously validate your behavior just before it truly escalates-and you should feel lucky noticing that, because in this very moment you will be able to kinda send yourself message.

    There is no silver bullet here but as example-if you say that picture from past helps you not relapse, then maybe set blocker in a way that it will protect from random triggers, yet you exactly know how to disable it i.e via password. See that password can be message from past which will save your future relapse-it can be some sentence which will help you remember why you struggle and why you don’t want relapse once more. You can even put it on the opposite side of picture just to make things work better.

    It’s not the case of permanently blocking P, but to be able to impact your way of thinking.

    Wishing you success and don’t give up!
    Notice how many people here support you and use this support to motivate yourself!
     
  19. Rafafa

    Rafafa Fapstronaut

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    You need something that make you have more pleasure than this, like love and helping peoples.
    Jesus is with you.
     

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