Blowjob on day 30. I feel horrible.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by 6ft7Cowboy, Jul 25, 2017.

  1. 6ft7Cowboy

    6ft7Cowboy Fapstronaut

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    Currently on day 33. Three days ago on day 30, I went on a great date with a girl I like and received a blowjob. Physically, I feel terrible. The last 3 days have been hell. I can't think straight, my motivation is back to rock-bottom, my confidence is low, and my mood is terrible. I feel overwhelmingly depressed.

    Intimacy with a real female is a good thing as I'm sure everyone here will agree. However, when I feel this physically rotten after being with a real female, it makes me want to just stay celibate for life. The way I feel physically right now, real sex isn't even worth it.

    Is anyone else feeling bad after sex with a real female?
     
  2. nofappin25

    nofappin25 Fapstronaut

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    yep, i just made a thread saying basically the same thing. the effect of sex/blowjob/handjob/whatever is no different than the effect of a fap from my experience, which makes this all the more depressing. it's the orgasm, the ejaculation, that brings us down.
     
  3. 6ft7Cowboy

    6ft7Cowboy Fapstronaut

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    This is what I can't understand though...how come the majority of the male population can have normal sex without feeling horrible afterwards, but guys like me and you can't? I just can't believe the only solution for feeling good is to become a celibate for life or have Karezza-only sex and never ejaculate. It seems totally unrealistic. Can anyone who has made it 90+ days chime in? Is it easier to have sex after 90 days without feeling like total crap?
     
  4. nofappin25

    nofappin25 Fapstronaut

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    i don't know, man. i'm sure some people will mention supplementing with zinc, and others will mention getting testosterone checked. i take zinc almost daily, and my testosterone is normal(at least it was a year ago), so i don't think it's that in my case. maybe it's something else we're not getting enough of.
     
  5. 6ft7Cowboy

    6ft7Cowboy Fapstronaut

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    I've had hundreds of dollars of bloodwork done over the last year. My testosterone is on the low normal end, my cortisol is extremely low, and I'm hypothyroid so I'm on meds for that. My endocrine system definitely is weak as confirmed by multiple doctors.

    I went and saw one of the nations top natural/Chinese medicine doctors a few weeks ago. It cost me about $2000 for a 3 hour consultation including supplements as well. He currently has me on a plethora of supplements that seem to have helped a little. He also has me doing parasite and heavy metal cleansing.

    Maybe I just need to accept that my body isn't in a condition for sex right now and just remain abstinent until I get all this health stuff sorted out.
     
  6. Kazmi

    Kazmi Fapstronaut

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    Lucky y
    You should be happy atleast you had some real fun. :p :p not that shitty orgasm of porn. And its alright. Never give up mate. :D
     
  7. yes, I do feel rotten, I like hugging and talking, but sex, I will not enjoy it. I am not gay, I will not enjoy sex with a man either. just to be clear .
     
  8. if your not married, sex is not the best way to connect.
     
    wheredoweallbelong likes this.
  9. nofappin25

    nofappin25 Fapstronaut

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    hmm.. i had my thyroid tested about a week ago, and the results came back 3.8 tsh which is technically in the "normal" lab range, but after doing further research, i'm finding out that it's way too high, as recent findings show anything about 3.0 is hypo. it could be thyroid giving us these effects. did the thyroid meds improve your libido/recovery/erections(if they needed to improve) at all? what about the supplements? doesn't seem to have helped too much since you just made this thread.
     
  10. Dragonheart42

    Dragonheart42 Fapstronaut

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    There is a site that might help
    It is the site by a guy nate liason
    :
    I found it by googling orgasm without ejaculation
     
  11. pranav02

    pranav02 Fapstronaut

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    Right, so I may not have any experience in this field at all but from what I've learnt : Sex with any random girl be it a date or a hooker or anyone won't work. The happiness obtained from sex is barely due to the orgasm but rather due to the emotional connection and the affection felt for one another. That's what makes it bliss. So what I would suggest is wait until you actually like the girl and feel that she's potentially the one or rather you even establish an emotional connection with her rather than it being a fling and plus, 30 days isn't enough. I'd recommend that you stay on 'hardmode' for 90-days and don't let her give you an orgasm at least yet. If you wanna indulge in sex in any way, please her and make her day rather than yours, that helps your recovery process too I believe. Cheers, lemme know I helped.
     
  12. I become extremely depressed and miserable when I give myself an orgasm, once I'm rebooted and having normal sex again I'm not going to be depressed because I just had sex with a woman. It completely depends on how you got the orgasm, I have no clue why you're feeling bad. In my opinion you should be feeling great.
     
  13. nofappin25

    nofappin25 Fapstronaut

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    eh... i've had sex with girls i like, emotional connection and all, it makes no difference. the fact that it came from sex made it no difference than fap, the after effects are the same.
     
  14. Nymeria

    Nymeria Fapstronaut

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    My take on your question of "Why the majority of the male population can have normal sex without feeling horrible afterwards" is down to how you think/behave/belief and interpret different situations. Think about it, this website contains so many posts about how after orgasms and masturbation, anxiety/depression sets in etc etc. So, you read about them all on this site, and then you tell yourself "If i orgasm/masturbate, I am going to feel shit, fall down a spiral of depression" You then reinforce this to yourself and it solidifies on a sub conscious level. So what happens when you do wank ? Your going to feel like shit and be sad and depressed. You've reinforced it so much, you believe it, and thats how you feel. Im sure you have heard that saying, "Weather you believe you can, or you cant, your probably right"

    Also if our state of being is generally that of being depressed/anxious and unhappy, it is near impossible to not feel like shit after an orgasm, my behaviour in this state of mind is never rational/logic and is pessimistic/negative. Until recently, i started meditating and practicing gratitude, forgiveness, compassion and creative visualisation. My happiness has developed hugely and i am finally accepting myself for who i am without looking for validation and approval off of others.

    I truly believe if you develop happiness, nothing can touch you or affect you. I have gone down the path of feeling sad/negative after orgasms in the past, however, recently i have relapsed and it didn't effect me in that negative way anymore! I hope this post helps in some way
     
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  15. nofappin25

    nofappin25 Fapstronaut

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    it's not about feeling negative, or depressed because of the sex/fap(at least in my case, and OP sounds the same way), it's about feeling more physically, and mentally depleted after it. that in turn causes the negativity/depression, it's not the other way around.
     
    Derrick likes this.
  16. 6ft7Cowboy

    6ft7Cowboy Fapstronaut

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    You're not it understanding my post. I don't "feel" emotionally bad about what I did. I think it was great. I feel PHYSICALLY bad. My fatigue, brain fog, and anxiety occur regardless of how I have an orgasm. This isn't a mental thing for me. It's physical.
     
  17. 6ft7Cowboy

    6ft7Cowboy Fapstronaut

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    This guy gets it. The act of orgasming is what is draining me. Doesn't matter how I do it or who I'm with. It physically depletes me.
     
  18. 6ft7Cowboy

    6ft7Cowboy Fapstronaut

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    There's nothing self-conscious about it, I promise you. I physically feel horrible. So many of you seem to be spinning this as a mental or emotional problem when it's not. Not for me anyways. I know when my head is messed up, and I know when my body is messed up. Right now, my body is messed up.
     
  19. fl.boricua.92

    fl.boricua.92 Fapstronaut

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    Maybe you associated orgasm with feeling horrible and depressed. PMO can do that to you.
    My advice is finish your reboot, then see what happens.
     
  20. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    100% agreement here. Fulfillment in sex comes from the emotional bond between partners, not from the physical passion. I've had a lot of casual sex, I'm sorry to say, and each time I felt exactly like the OP described. But I never had those bad feelings when I was in a real relationship with someone I loved and who loved me.
     
    WARRIORMAN and pranav02 like this.

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