Born in the wrong time

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by SilenceDogood, Jul 7, 2020.

  1. SilenceDogood

    SilenceDogood Fapstronaut

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    hi, I am glad to be on this forum

    I am not really writing this to just deal with the loneliness I have, but really just to tell you all about my story.

    I genuinely feel I was born in the wrong time. Why? I dont have a profile pic on here, but I dress up in clothes from the 1920s,1930s 1940s and 1950s. I listen to old music from that time, I watch old movies, I song write, play guitar, I read books, and I am just generally a loner. I read the bible and attend church, and its funny because I get up and talk with the people there and I enjoy them (they are usually older then me), its the same when I play a live show, I go up and talk to people.

    One thing I love dearly is History, especially music history. I have done my own research, I have talked to old musicians who worked with some of my favorite artists, I have interviewed people. If being a History professor wasn't a field to get into, I would be doing it, but I just do this for my own enjoyment. I find when I talk to a lot of the older generation, we relate, and I find myself talking to them for hours.

    I just can't relate with most people my generation if they don't share any common interests with me, so I have really no friends, I have no girlfriend, and I really am not interested. It is not just because of the fact I am different, it is also because of my best friends death that I really don't feel interested in love or relationships. I lost him 3 years ago from a heart attack, and I found him dead, and it left me with trauma.


    I am not a social person, I don't go to parties, I don't hit up clubs, I go to book stores, antique shops, music stores, or I am at home. I sometimes might get a feeling I would feel better with a woman at my side, but I have been through so much and I am a man of tradition and most women today couldn't accept the idea of traditional marriage, having children, being committed for life to marriage, and being devoted to the church, so I drift along. I used to dream of having a wife and kids, but when my friend died, I felt all my dreams go away and reality kicked in; I don't see myself getting married, and the thought of it is almost fearful to me. Maybe I am just not looking hard enough or I am just not interested in loving someone else because I am worried the rest of my wounded heart will crumble?

    Sure, I have some "friends" who I might see once in a while from high school, or people online, but I don't exactly consider them friends. I am not doing NoFap in the hopes of finding a girlfriend, or making friends, I am doing it to clear my mind, to help me get close to god, and to let me get away from distractions in the news. I have been through a lot in my life, and I just want to have something I can say I have achieved.

    I am sorry for this long ramble, but I felt this might be a good time to write about myself, and let people know they are not alone.
     
  2. Oluwakingz

    Oluwakingz Fapstronaut

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    I can't really relate but I'm sorry about your friend, I kinda like you don't really have much friends and girlfriend (my gf broke-up) with me last December so that it but I love I don't have much friends or so I love being alone that's me and I love it, and also I was emotionally bullied in secondary School my my friends so that why I don't really like friends but I love it and I hope you love you too and accept yourself , you are you
     
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  3. My friend, you have an old soul. Takes one to recognize one.
     
  4. SilenceDogood

    SilenceDogood Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, you are one of the many people who have said that to me, and yes I believe it. I often wonder if I had a past life? I sometimes feel like I was brought back on this planet to live a good clean life, like god gave me a second chance. I am so glad I am able to do things like dress up, listen to old music, and I am happy I can do it.
     
  5. Thats an interesting thought. Sometimes I feel deeply that I was meant for the 70s or 60s.
     
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  6. whiteflag70

    whiteflag70 Fapstronaut

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    You have a rather interesting taste and disposition for a person in this day and age. imo it would be a waste for you to be living with a closed heart all your life due to the traumatic incident you experienced (your best friend). You have things to give and unique perspective and love to share. I hope you will trust in God enough to take a chance to connect and stay open with people and maybe come across that someone who can relate specially to you and vice versa. maybe even heal your wounded heart in the process.
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2020
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  7. SoaringEagle

    SoaringEagle Fapstronaut

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    IMO there is nothing wrong in having good taste! Not liking current popular music or culture is most certainly not a sin!
    And we were much closer to the ideal in the older days, building a family and not worrying about your wife sleeping around is certainly much better than the **** culture we live in. Time heals everything, and with time maybe you will find a woman who shares your ideals, and if it was impossible to find where you live, you can always move to a different place. There are still some places which are not completely corrupted.
     
  8. Bluskyhusky

    Bluskyhusky New Fapstronaut

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    Theres a girl I was talking to last year who's into that old time stuff you like. She was looking for a guy who's into all that stuff, which I'm not.

    The point I'm trying to make is, keep looking. There are events that that are era themed, with people with those interests in attendance.
     
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  9. mr.incognito

    mr.incognito Fapstronaut

    If you are living like this by choice and love doing it then keep doing it. If you are doing this because you are scared and/or don't have other options - unable to socialize with people in your age group even if you wanted to - you should change it, and that sounds like it might be the case since you are on nofap. Prove that you can do all those normal things before you decide not to do them. Fear doesn't always feel like fear, it could feel like tiredness or boredom or anger. Like you said you read the bible, maybe you hear a contemporary song that is sexual and you get offended because it threatens your values - it scares you. Maybe you talk to old ladies because you don't have to worry about feeling sexually attracted to them. You sound like you aren't getting enough experience first hand, just some old stuff through your imagination. Don't make a big fuckin' deal about music, not everyone's a musician.
     
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  10. Another old soul here who can relate to feeling out of place or time period. I don’t like the hustle and bustle of modern life and it’s not like I even live in a big city I’m pretty out in the country. Most people I can actually have a conversation with are usually quite a bit older than me. I love nature and the only time I’m in public are for work, concerts and church (on and off). I’m pretty much a lone wolf too.

    I’m so sorry to hear about your friend, that’s awful. I can slightly relate on a lower level as it wasn’t death, but a betrayal from a friend. Now I struggle trusting anyone, especially strangers these days.. I also wonder if life would be better with a lady friend but I mostly enjoy living alone and it seems like a lot of effort for a small chance of success frankly.

    Welcome to nofap man I wish you the best.
     
  11. Marcus Aurelius

    Marcus Aurelius Fapstronaut

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    I sometimes wonder if I would feel more comfortable in a different time period... maybe sometime in the 19th century? I think I would in some ways, but not in all ways. I think it's partly an illusion. Let's say someone felt they would be more comfortable in the 1950s than the present day and they hopped in a time machine. And let's say that they felt more content. But how long would that last? In a decade or less it would be the 60s and they would find themselves in a new era again. Then it would be the 70s etc.

    Unless they managed to freeze time, they would still live in a changing world no matter where they traveled back to and I sometimes wonder if it isn't so much a previous time that "old souls" long for, but an unchanging time. I think the rapid pace of change in the modern world takes its toll on us. I'm only 26, but I feel like I live in a completely different world from when I was a child. Sometimes it makes me feel like I have no solid ground beneath my feet.
     
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  12. magic05

    magic05 Fapstronaut

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    Had that thought too often, but when I look at history books I can sense that all times before us were much worse.

    If you live in the Western world, you have no wars (historically a very rare event!), no pandemics (yes Corona is serious of course, but look at the Black Death - killing 30% of the European population, Tuberculosis - killing 1 billion people, pox - killing 300 millions, Spanish flu - killing 50 millions, etc., those were the real deal), no fascist regimes, no slavery, freedom of speech, social security and so on.

    We live in the most free societies of mankind. Everything we do is in our own choice. Maybe even too much choice for our neanderthal brains - that's why we ended up here in this forum? But still better being politically free and addicted than a medieval slave.
     
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2020
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  13. RogerFM

    RogerFM Fapstronaut

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    If I could choose I would choose to be born in the 60's and enjoy the 70's and 80's, now, those were the decades to be alive.
     
  14. StonePlacidity

    StonePlacidity Fapstronaut

  15. I feel the same I honestly with I was born in 1860. I want to live in a cabin in the woods somewhere living a simple life. I don't like the hustle and bustle of modern life. I want to live like that of a mountain man.
     
  16. RogerFM

    RogerFM Fapstronaut

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    I like people, so I still would be a city person, but, back then people had more class. When I have some more money I'm upgrading my wardrobe. Buy some shirts and suits if I can. Other than that, I like this age we live in.
     

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