boyfriend edging, obsession with nudes help?

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by ObviousToTheCasual, Apr 18, 2021.

  1. ObviousToTheCasual

    ObviousToTheCasual Fapstronaut

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    I need advice because I do not know what to do. My boyfriend has an issue with edging (http://spaa-recovery.org/wp-content/uploads/What-is-Edging.pdf) and we both want to work towards sobriety. A few days ago he requested some videos/photos of me and I happily obliged, but he has told me that he has been completely obsessed with them, up to the point where he has masturbated three times in a span of eight hours. He told me he can't get the images out of his head and that he can't stop thinking about them, to the point where he cannot do anything else but obsess over the images. He told me to delete the images I've sent, but he is having trouble deleting them off his camera roll. We both did not expect this to happen. He said he has never felt this obsessed before.

    What can I do to help him stop? and to focus on other things? I have already deleted the images, it is now up to him to delete them. For the time being, I will not send anything else. If someone is currently going through SPAA and/or is struggling with edging, is there something I can do to help my boyfriend get through this? Thanks
     
    Inconcievable and Wugazi32 like this.
  2. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    Is up to him to fix his own problems. No matter how much you want to help him, if he is not willing or capable of fixing it, then it's going to be a waste of your time.
    Never try to fix other peoples problems. Give support if you care about them and help them if they ask you to do something specific, nothing else. Work to solve your own problems and let people deal with their own.

    Of course, as I always suggest.. date people that have his shit together. There are no more amazing experience in the world to do that. That's why you date before getting in a relationship, to know the other person. If you find out that your partner have lot of baggage and issues in his/her life don't get stuck with them, move on to another partner that already done his work and have his shit together. Don't date people that share their problems with you, only date people that is ready to share they complitness and happiness with you. Of course, to date people like this you need to do your own work first and have your shot together and living a happy life.
     
  3. I thought 3 times in 8 hours is average for a guy his age? (If he's 19 too!?)

    I am struggling to delete pics and videos of my wife from my camera roll too.
     
  4. There is so much free porn available out there that he could be looking at, that I think that this might be a sign that he really likes you, but it shows that he may be susceptible to PMO addiction. If you feel the same way about him, and if you are already intimate, I'd suggest spending more time with him including having sex. But tell him that if he loves you, that he needs to stay away from porn and save his sexual energy for you only.
     
    Wugazi32 likes this.
  5. PrioritySystem

    PrioritySystem Fapstronaut

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    Whatever was on those pics/videos, do it with him in the same room and enjoy his obsession for you together..? :rolleyes:
     
    bradmax and Wugazi32 like this.

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