Breakups and lonliness

L

Lion's den

New Fapstronaut
My girlfriend of 3 and a half years broke up with me a few months ago. I knew it was coming, and it was more of a mutual thing. But it hurts like hell. Porn was the easy distraction. I stopped using porn for the last year of our relationship. I felt guilty everyone I used. But this breakup put me right back into that pit. Everytime I feel depressed and lonely, I go into the shower, and watch. I want to stop, but the rush of the porn distracts me from my lonliness. It makes me feel like those women actually care about me and want to make me feel good. Even though I know that isn't true. I pray for God to help me beat this addiction. I hope that this forum is one way that he is doing so.
 
You can only kill a bad habit by replacing it with a good one. I broke up with my girlfriend recently and I realized I was miserable only because I kept remembering the past. Everything happens for a reason. You just have to come to terms with the fact that the past is no longer yours, it's gone but the future is. It's quite logical because time is moving forward, everything in the world is pushing ahead (whether it be towards good or bad). If you dont do the same then you're gonna get stuck.
Break through the 2 week threshold and when you feel stronger you can move towards doing something constructive. Once you do that, I promise you'll forget the past and you're ex-girfriend's value will become virtually 0.
 
Lion's den said:
My girlfriend of 3 and a half years broke up with me a few months ago. I knew it was coming, and it was more of a mutual thing. But it hurts like hell. Porn was the easy distraction. I stopped using porn for the last year of our relationship. I felt guilty everyone I used. But this breakup put me right back into that pit. Everytime I feel depressed and lonely, I go into the shower, and watch. I want to stop, but the rush of the porn distracts me from my lonliness. It makes me feel like those women actually care about me and want to make me feel good. Even though I know that isn't true. I pray for God to help me beat this addiction. I hope that this forum is one way that he is doing so.
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Ive never even had a girl interested enough in me to stay with me for 3 years. So your pretty lucky.
 
I understand. I had a gf for 7 years. My life was a living hell for 4 months after we broke up.

Sending my support to you in this difficult time!
 
I hear ya man.

I was married for 12. Divorced went thru hell to get over it, found a woman dated 4 months then she cut me loose recently. Its tough. Feels like an endless loop of loneliness.
 
I've been single against will for 18 years. had lost my circle of friends. no one close to me. I suffered hard. now 5.5yrs relationship, beautiful, extremly difficult some times, intense. split up three weeks ago. sadness and pain, loneliness, missing. again almost nobody out there.

i itenst pornography. it's damned tricky - boredom, feeling depressed, discomfort, psychich stress, ungood fellings, loneliness, the black view. porn helps, makes it less destructive, gives even some sort of joy. that's the fact i'm struggling with: seeing how "all this beauty" destroys me and my live. and still so bound in the behaviour patterns trained for a decade and earlier already. my addiction.
 
lost&found77 said:
I've been single against will for 18 years. had lost my circle of friends. no one close to me. I suffered hard. now 5.5yrs relationship, beautiful, extremly difficult some times, intense. split up three weeks ago. sadness and pain, loneliness, missing. again almost nobody out there.

i itenst pornography. it's damned tricky - boredom, feeling depressed, discomfort, psychich stress, ungood fellings, loneliness, the black view. porn helps, makes it less destructive, gives even some sort of joy. that's the fact i'm struggling with: seeing how "all this beauty" destroys me and my live. and still so bound in the behaviour patterns trained for a decade and earlier already. my addiction.
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It's an illusion, unfortunately.
 
Try some eft tapping for break ups, heart break, relationships finishing, plenty of these vids on 'tube, worked for me. Take long fast walks or aerobic exercise, as far as you can manage, keep the energy moving. Eat well, sleep well, read a good challenging book, look after yourself, don't fap, do not pmo, don't put women on a pedestal and give away all your self respect and power. Be kind and compassionate to everyone, including yourself.
 
Soy nuevo en nofap ingrese aquí por que los terapeutas (psicólogos) no ven en mi un problema, pero yo siento que destruye y destruyo mi vida. Me estoy separando de una relación de 12 años con una hermosa mujer, ella nunca supo de mi adicción pero mi desinterés por ella fue notable y me puso los cuernos con otro, debo perdonarla? Gracias
 
zapster and watanabi. thank you for your words and support. i'm at the very beginnig - but i'm at the beginning. i'll go on this way. support like yours helps me.
 
Hey no worries you're welcome, that's why we join up here to support each other and share good ideas, knowledge and experiences, it's a complex and difficult journey, at times never ending challenges, plenty of people on here who would testify to that, but plenty of success stories too, recovery and healthy lifestyle very achievable..keep up the good fight..it will be worth it.
 
I know how it feels bro.
For me getting into martial arts/sport and writing my thoughts a lot helped. There are billions of people, there is certainly a better one waiting for you just by sheer chance. If you split than thats what was ment to happen. Be glad it's not a divorce.
 
You're not alone here man, things will start to get better once you stop filling that hole she left behind with porn, you're making the right step quitting porn
 
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