Breathaddict checks-in

Greetings fellow fapstronauts!
Let me first say that it is an honour to be welcomed into a community that seeks to attain virtue, a quest which is all to often underrated in our contemporary culture.

Let me tell you the story of my addiction. When I was 14 years old, I came back from a summer camp, and stayed at home alone, watching TV in my parent's bedroom. I was turning channels and found two that had women stripping and masturbating while answering phone calls in Italian. Obviously, I was intrigued, but I was especially surprised when I realised that when my penis was touching the bed I got this very special feeling. So I kept touching the bed and ejaculated eventually.
I didn't really know what was going on, no one's talked to me about this possibility, prior to that I thought that you can only get sperm out of your penis when you have sex with a woman, so naturally I started thinking that there was something wrong with me, and that maybe I was sick, or supposed to see a psychiatrist. Still, I kept this a secret from everyone and I continued masturbating whenever I was home alone.
Later I started masturbating to pictures of women in magazine ads, then I figured out that every guy in my class was doing that, and they watched porn online, so eventually I started doing that as well. No one told me it was bad, or unnatural, but it always felt off.
I'm catholic, and when me and my class were being prepared to the sacrament of confirmation (the final sacrament of initiation into the church), the priest told us that masturbation was a sin. Everyone in the room exclaimed indisbelief. "How is that possible?" we asked. "Surely no one is being harmed by me masturbating?"
The priest answered that like cheating on your spouse is a sin of impurity towards your spouse, masturbation was a sin of impurity towards your own person. As you might imagine, this was not a helpful explanation at all, so we kept at it. Nevertheless, this was the first time I heard someone say that masturbation is bad, and I've been trying to fight it ever since. I was 16 at the time, I am now 22.
I've had prolonged periods when I didn't masturbate, and those were great. I could feel much more confident in myself, I was more full of energy, and was happier in general. However, from time to time there is a time when you're bored and have no way of leaving the house, and that's when I was most often defeated. There was also one time in Japan when I simply felt overwhelming lust, not directed towards anything specific, but just the feeling itself, I felt hot, and my breathing became heavier. It was quite a bizarre experience, really.

Anyway, I don't want this to happen again, and I am confident that with your support I will be able to stay chaste for ever. Thank you for listening to my story, and I hope to meet you on the forums frequently.

 

Hey, billiammn. Yeah, they do have quite a lot, the most common thing are porn mags on display in every conveniece store (which in Japan means on every crossroads. The worst thing that could happen to you I guess is if you find yourself in the Tokyo red light district, Kabukicho.
But what happened to me happened in a museum in the Hiroshima castle, out of nowhere. I attribute this to a demonic attack. It didn't stop until I masturbated in my hotel room. I like to think that next time I'll be ready.