Broke up with my girlfriend over fears over future, worried now that porn could have contributed

Day 4: Struggling today, saw someone I used to go out with before I knew things like porn use were a problem, so they knew me when i was at ‘peak freak’. Very uncomfortable, avoided her like the plague. Just gotta keep chilling, this will pass.
 
Relapsed, two cardinal sins, phone in bed, then had to be on computer for uni while in a vulnerable state. Easy mistakes to fix, binged a bit so feeling bad but ill live. Off to finish my uni work.
 
Get this shit off my post parasite.
You are probably ranting at a bot which has taken over a defunct user's account or a sleeper account set up years ago. A better way to rid the site of those posts is to click _Report_ under the post and let the mods remove the post and the hijacked user account.
 
You are probably ranting at a bot which has taken over a defunct user's account or a sleeper account set up years ago. A better way to rid the site of those posts is to click _Report_ under the post and let the mods remove the post and the hijacked user account.
Done both, just wanted some Catharsis :)
 
Day 3, the long war continues, to borrow a line from my profile’s name sake. High anxiety, due I suspect to the dopamine tap being switched off, just gotta let it pass over me ig. Busy with uni stuff but struggling to do it. Was on a roll until I started relapsing daily, maybe just need to let my juices regen.
Why don’t you get someone you trust to put the canopy app on everything you own? You pay for it. They can block you out. That way no temptation.
 
NNN coming up, good time to sort my shit, starting my streak as of right now. Want to kick this habit before im 25, hopefully this is the beginning of the end.
You got this man, you got plenty of time. Remember your self worth, how far you’ve come and where you want to go. Hopefully going to the gym and just taking some you-time will help you regain your energy :] Take every mishap as a lesson so you can come back stronger.
 
I have an app blocking stuff on my phone and laptop, my gf has the password, sadly there are ways round such things, feeling better now, sorting my shit.
If you are spending the time searching ways to bypass your blockers, do you really believe you want to quit? Or are you only doing it because of your girlfriend? What other ways are you trying to get into recovery? Because you’re right, blockers are easy to get around. It’s easy to find ways to use and hide it. Blockers/accountability apps are just to give you time to decide to implement other coping tools rather than to use. What tools do you have to combat urges to use? Do you know your triggers and addiction cycle? Because you won’t get far if you don’t know those.
 
I have an app blocking stuff on my phone and laptop, my gf has the password, sadly there are ways round such things, feeling better now, sorting my shit.
That’s where internet down time is very very handy. Not internet access no P. Just have it set to always off and have to ask your girlfriend to turn it on. That way there’s not even a slight chance.
 
That’s where internet down time is very very handy. Not internet access no P. Just have it set to always off and have to ask your girlfriend to turn it on. That way there’s not even a slight chance.
Well, they can still find it. It’s just not available on their primary devices. Never underestimate an addicts ability to access their doc. But, yes, getting rid of internet completely helps immensely
 
If you are spending the time searching ways to bypass your blockers, do you really believe you want to quit? Or are you only doing it because of your girlfriend? What other ways are you trying to get into recovery? Because you’re right, blockers are easy to get around. It’s easy to find ways to use and hide it. Blockers/accountability apps are just to give you time to decide to implement other coping tools rather than to use. What tools do you have to combat urges to use? Do you know your triggers and addiction cycle? Because you won’t get far if you don’t know those.
Agree, 100%. If you don’t write down every time, you have a slip and try to figure out what made you slip and get to the heart of the matter or you’re gonna keep slipping.

Relapses do not occur in a vacuum! Something has to trigger you. Once you understand what’s triggering your self, you can start to create an action plan.
Don’t look at each relapse as a failure look at it as an opportunity to collect data. Write down when it happens and start to notice a pattern. For me, I’ve picked out certain hours of the day when I’m most vulnerable.


Instead of trying to distract yourself or trying to go outside or exercise or avoid everything.
Try something else.
I’m gonna give you some advice I got from the overcoming pornography for good podcast.


Try mindfulness meditation and breathing exercise.
What I mean by that is when you get an urge
Leave your phone in another room
Or whatever device devices you use.
Then go somewhere where you can either sit or lie down. Then I want you to close your eyes and start describing your urge and a way that is his neutral as possible. Imagine you’re describing it to a robot or an alien.
Avoid terms like it’s overwhelming. It’s rushing use terms such as I have a tingling in my leg, or I feel there’s blood inside my penis.
Uses as clinical terms as possible. The reason for this is you want to describe what’s going on in your body, but you don’t want to give it power.
Then while you’re saying these things out loud, I want you to try and think what are you trying to avoid, are you buffering? Because that’s what pornography over eating over spending it’s a buffering activity. You’re trying to avoid something.
And then focus on your breathing, close your eyes and sit in the quiet until your urge passes. I want you to get really good with discomfort.
Because you’ll find out that all an urge is is it’s a signal from your brain craving dopamine that’s causing your body to have a vibration.
It helps to think of an urge as a toddler. It’s gonna scream at you. It’s gonna yell at you. It wants its candy, but it can’t hurt you. I can’t force you to do anything. You can sit there and comfort it, but you don’t have to give it what it wants.
There are some days you’re just gonna have to ride around in the metaphorical car with it in the background screaming at you. And that’s fine, that doesn’t mean you have to give in.
You have the choice to become the kind of man who doesn’t want to look at pornography.

And finally, you are not urges.
 
Agree, 100%. If you don’t write down every time, you have a slip and try to figure out what made you slip and get to the heart of the matter or you’re gonna keep slipping.

Relapses do not occur in a vacuum! Something has to trigger you. Once you understand what’s triggering your self, you can start to create an action plan.
Don’t look at each relapse as a failure look at it as an opportunity to collect data. Write down when it happens and start to notice a pattern. For me, I’ve picked out certain hours of the day when I’m most vulnerable.


Instead of trying to distract yourself or trying to go outside or exercise or avoid everything.
Try something else.
I’m gonna give you some advice I got from the overcoming pornography for good podcast.


Try mindfulness meditation and breathing exercise.
What I mean by that is when you get an urge
Leave your phone in another room
Or whatever device devices you use.
Then go somewhere where you can either sit or lie down. Then I want you to close your eyes and start describing your urge and a way that is his neutral as possible. Imagine you’re describing it to a robot or an alien.
Avoid terms like it’s overwhelming. It’s rushing use terms such as I have a tingling in my leg, or I feel there’s blood inside my penis.
Uses as clinical terms as possible. The reason for this is you want to describe what’s going on in your body, but you don’t want to give it power.
Then while you’re saying these things out loud, I want you to try and think what are you trying to avoid, are you buffering? Because that’s what pornography over eating over spending it’s a buffering activity. You’re trying to avoid something.
And then focus on your breathing, close your eyes and sit in the quiet until your urge passes. I want you to get really good with discomfort.
Because you’ll find out that all an urge is is it’s a signal from your brain craving dopamine that’s causing your body to have a vibration.
It helps to think of an urge as a toddler. It’s gonna scream at you. It’s gonna yell at you. It wants its candy, but it can’t hurt you. I can’t force you to do anything. You can sit there and comfort it, but you don’t have to give it what it wants.
There are some days you’re just gonna have to ride around in the metaphorical car with it in the background screaming at you. And that’s fine, that doesn’t mean you have to give in.
You have the choice to become the kind of man who doesn’t want to look at pornography.

And finally, you are not urges.
Great post! This was how my husband discovered that many times he felt he was horny was really him stressed, bored, or tired. But he had used pmo to alleviate this so often that he confused a true drive for sex with a drive to alleviate stress etc.
 
Agree, 100%. If you don’t write down every time, you have a slip and try to figure out what made you slip and get to the heart of the matter or you’re gonna keep slipping.

Relapses do not occur in a vacuum! Something has to trigger you. Once you understand what’s triggering your self, you can start to create an action plan.
Don’t look at each relapse as a failure look at it as an opportunity to collect data. Write down when it happens and start to notice a pattern. For me, I’ve picked out certain hours of the day when I’m most vulnerable.


Instead of trying to distract yourself or trying to go outside or exercise or avoid everything.
Try something else.
I’m gonna give you some advice I got from the overcoming pornography for good podcast.


Try mindfulness meditation and breathing exercise.
What I mean by that is when you get an urge
Leave your phone in another room
Or whatever device devices you use.
Then go somewhere where you can either sit or lie down. Then I want you to close your eyes and start describing your urge and a way that is his neutral as possible. Imagine you’re describing it to a robot or an alien.
Avoid terms like it’s overwhelming. It’s rushing use terms such as I have a tingling in my leg, or I feel there’s blood inside my penis.
Uses as clinical terms as possible. The reason for this is you want to describe what’s going on in your body, but you don’t want to give it power.
Then while you’re saying these things out loud, I want you to try and think what are you trying to avoid, are you buffering? Because that’s what pornography over eating over spending it’s a buffering activity. You’re trying to avoid something.
And then focus on your breathing, close your eyes and sit in the quiet until your urge passes. I want you to get really good with discomfort.
Because you’ll find out that all an urge is is it’s a signal from your brain craving dopamine that’s causing your body to have a vibration.
It helps to think of an urge as a toddler. It’s gonna scream at you. It’s gonna yell at you. It wants its candy, but it can’t hurt you. I can’t force you to do anything. You can sit there and comfort it, but you don’t have to give it what it wants.
There are some days you’re just gonna have to ride around in the metaphorical car with it in the background screaming at you. And that’s fine, that doesn’t mean you have to give in.
You have the choice to become the kind of man who doesn’t want to look at pornography.

And finally, you are not urges.
Heavily agree. Goes back to what I was saying about taking every mistake as a lesson. You really have to look into yourself, reach out to the deepest parts and pull back what you’ve learned. Self discovery tends to be the key part of recovery. Making choices to better yourself instead of tearing yourself down. Its all about mindset. Well said.
 
If you are spending the time searching ways to bypass your blockers, do you really believe you want to quit? Or are you only doing it because of your girlfriend? What other ways are you trying to get into recovery? Because you’re right, blockers are easy to get around. It’s easy to find ways to use and hide it. Blockers/accountability apps are just to give you time to decide to implement other coping tools rather than to use. What tools do you have to combat urges to use? Do you know your triggers and addiction cycle? Because you won’t get far if you don’t know those.
The single biggest trigger is exhaustion, I do want to quit, I had prior, its been a tough year, I fucked myself up again during my girlfriends brain cancer scare, i have tons of habits and work out a tonne, i dont have tech anywhere near my bed. Im not sure what else I could do, the easy answer is fix your sleeping pattern but thats not so easy when you are doing your post grad, working 30 hours a week and still needing to workout and apply for internships. If i peak i relapse, that only really happens when im overtired, which rn is all the time. Ive started taking 30 minute naps everyday to try and combat this. I Journal, I meditate, I play the guitar, I paint warhammer stuff (when I get time which is almost never). Its tough man
 
That’s where internet down time is very very handy. Not internet access no P. Just have it set to always off and have to ask your girlfriend to turn it on. That way there’s not even a slight chance.
I need to be on the internet quite alot for uni, I also dont live with my gf. All relapses begin on the phone, I put it in a dock when im in my room.
 
The issue is is it feels like theres no solution atm, I dont have time to do my habits that keep on the straight and narrow im perpetually sleep deprived and stressed, this isnt me moaning, im not, im doing all this so I can earn hundreds of thousands of pounds a year. But still its tough
 
The single biggest trigger is exhaustion, I do want to quit, I had prior, its been a tough year, I fucked myself up again during my girlfriends brain cancer scare, i have tons of habits and work out a tonne, i dont have tech anywhere near my bed. Im not sure what else I could do, the easy answer is fix your sleeping pattern but thats not so easy when you are doing your post grad, working 30 hours a week and still needing to workout and apply for internships. If i peak i relapse, that only really happens when im overtired, which rn is all the time. Ive started taking 30 minute naps everyday to try and combat this. I Journal, I meditate, I play the guitar, I paint warhammer stuff (when I get time which is almost never). Its tough man
I hear you, bro, my pile of shame is enormous at this point. And yet I just started an knights army >.> (there is no shame here).
With me, I’m working about 45 hours a week, plus I’m helping my wife finish her graduate degree and now I’m taking care of all the household chores because between her job and her school she doesn’t have any time or energy for it. Plus my mom’s got dementia and it’s just a mess. So I don’t really get a lot of time to game either. Next week I’m planning on taking a day off from work so I can just paint and do hobby work.
With me I relapse primarily because of stress.
It’s hard to get yourself on a normal sleep pattern, I’m still not good at it, I just wish it would be a lot easier.
 
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