Buddhist Accountability Thread Group A

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Paranimmita, Apr 28, 2020.


    Current members: 20
    Available spaces: 0

    This is a space for Buddhist fapstronauts of any school of Buddhism.
    This is where we update each other on the challenges we are facing in our reboot. It is a space to encourage each other towards the goal of rebooting and beyond that depending on our own reasons as to what we want from NoFap. We currently have no spaces for new Buddhist fapstronauts in this thread. If you would like to join then please do comment here and I will start a new accountability thread for the next set of Buddhist fapstronauts where you can continue to post updates.

    There are no hard rules for the thread, and it is about creating an environment of ease without any pressure. However this is what is recommended.
    • Setup the NoFap counter
    • Start a NoFap journal and add regular entries. Start your journal as a thread in your age group and link that thread to your profile page
    • Put updates in this thread on a regular basis (preferably daily)
    • Follow each other on NoFap
    • Keep in touch with each other through NoFap inbox. You could pair up with a partner or be in touch with the different Buddhist fapstronauts.
    • Join the Buddhist Fapstronauts Group on NoFap
    Possible improvements
    • To start a NoFap inbox group conversation in addition to the above
    • Whiles it is not compulsory, share Buddhist teachings which are of relevance to topics such as sexual desire and celibacy.
    • Right speech - NoFap in general is a space where sensitive issues are being discussed. Therefore right speech is of utmost importance when communicating with each other. Before replying always ask from ourselves - "Does this bring benefit? Does this bring discord in the community? Do these words cause harm to another being? Are these words going to be encouraging?"
    • Make replies to fellow Buddhist fapstronauts as well as share your daily update with abstaining from PMO.
    • All for one and one for all - this means that in this thread anyone is free to feel accountable for as many other Buddhist fapstronauts as they like. That way we are all accountable for each other as well as look for each other for support and encouraging words. Everyone is a follower as well as a leader based on the changing circumstances.
    All of these methods will help to increase accountability. It is the mentality of all for one and one for all. As per NoFap guidelines we can only take upto 20 members in this group. If more members like to join, then I will consider starting additional threads for Buddhist fapstronauts.

    Here are some criteria which will serve as a helpful reminder of what needs to be done or avoided during a NoFap reboot. The choices as to what to include/avoid depends on which mode of NoFap one is doing:
    • Lite Mode (avoid P)
    • Standard Mode (avoid PM)
    • Hard Mode (avoid PMO)
    • Monk Mode (avoid PMO, P-sub along with taking up selected austerities)
    Here are some basic helpful suggestions on what to do each day in one's reboot (not exhaustive). Some of them are options that are available to make use of.
    • Avoid PMO
    • Avoid thoughts of sex which would lead to TUC
    • Identify one's P-subs and avoid P-sub as this helps to speed up the reboot
    • Identify possible triggers and avoid them or find ways to subdue them
    • Use accountability software whiles pairing up with a Buddhist fapstronaut in this thread
    As Buddhists, the teachings in Buddhism can be applied skillfully according to place and circumstances in our reboot. This means that we may try to take advantage of secular non-religious/non-spiritual methods to maintain our streak as long as they are within the boundaries of Buddhist ethical conduct. However in addition to these secular methods, there is also the open option of using Buddhist-oriented tactics/strategies based on Dharma/Dhamma teachings as an additional layer to augment the process of rebooting for us Buddhist fapstronauts. As different schools of Buddhism emphasise different aspects of the entire teachings under the corpus of Buddhism, feel free to choose methods which are compatible and not in conflict with the school of Buddhism which you follow.

    Brahmacharya in Buddhism in its most perfect sense means to live as a monastic in its deepest meaning. However there are other layers to the meaning which can be made use of. Here are some aspects of Brahmacharya which can be made use of. These aspects can be suitable options for those who wish to follow Monk Mode of NoFap.
    1. Celibacy - This is to abstain from all sexual behaviour in body, speech and mind. It also can extent to avoid watching visuals or listening to audio that is related to sex.
    2. Sensual restraint - This is to let go of the extremes of desire (lobha) and aversion (dosha/dvesha) at the level of the 6 sense bases (salayatana) of eye-vision, ear-sound, nose-smell, tongue-taste, body-tangibles and mind-thoughts. The letting go of the extremes of desire and aversion can be done by clear comprehension (sampajhanna) towards whichever the stimuli that arises through the 6 sense bases, to establish insight (vipassana) in the present moment so that equanimity (upekkha/upeksha) can be maintained towards them. Insight is to observe what arises in the present moment and to reflect on its true nature that such stimuli/objects are impermanent, non-self and unsatisfactory, and based on this reflection, one can let go of aversion or desire towards them and to show equanimity because of that.
    3. Sublime abodes/Immeasurables (Brahmavihara/Apramana) - As Brahmacharya in its etymology means to 'the conduct of the sublime' it can be a useful option to incorporate the Brahmavihara onto the Brahmacharya. These are the 4 qualities of:
    • Loving-kindness/Loving-friendliness (Metta/Maitri)
    • Compassion (Karuna/Anukampa/Daya)
    • Altruistic Joy/Sympathetic Joy/Gladness (Mudita)
    • Equanimity (Upekkha/Upeksha)

    Given that most of us will be avoiding PMO and even P-sub, if we try to maintain mindful awareness of the present moment even in the post-meditative state then thoughts of sexual desire would not have a reason to arise.

    • Whatever the thoughts on sexual desire that has arisen, to let go of them through insight into such thoughts where their end result is unsatisfactory/suffering.
    • To prevent whatever the thoughts of sexual desire that has not arisen yet, by being mindful of the present moment with clear comprehension.
    • Reflect on the disadvantages of sexual desire and sexual behaviour.
    • To maintain one's celibacy by reflecting on the advantages of celibacy from a Buddhist view-point.
    • avoid talking about sex in a manner that is contrary to celibacy
    • avoid talking about the advantages of sex
    • to talk about the advantages of celibacy
    • not to engage in amorous sport with the sex which one is oriented towards (this includes flirting)
    • not to praise the sex which one is oriented towards (saying things such as "you are sexy" or "you are hot")
    8 Precepts can be taken on whichever days one likes to follow them. It is recommended to follow the 8 Precepts during the phases of the Moon (Full Moon, New Moon, First Quarter and Last Quarter) although not compulsory. In a NoFap streak the 8 Precepts can be used as Buddhist-oriented dopamine detox for a day or two or whichever number of days one is happy to do them. The precepts which appear in addition to the 5 Precepts have been highlighted. These 8 Precepts can be taken as part of NoFap Monk Mode by Buddhist fapstronauts.
    1. Avoid/refrain from killing/harming sentient beings
    2. Avoid/refrain from stealing (taking that which is not given to you)
    3. Avoid/refrain from all sexual activity including self-stimulation
    4. Avoid/refrain from lying/false speech
    5. Avoid/refrain from all intoxicants (or alternatively avoid becoming intoxicated for those who cant refrain from intoxicants)
    6. Avoid/refrain from having meals/solid food/pulps/semi-solid puree etc after midday. This usually means to either have lunch only, or just breakfast and lunch but no dinner. One can drink water or tea after midday but not thick fluids such as milk, coffee or fruit juice. Additionally one can avoid meat, fish and eggs if they are not vegetarian or vegan if they like.
    7. Avoid/refrain from entertainment and self-adorning. This means to avoid an type of entertainment including music, films, shows etc as well as to avoid wearing jewelry, applying make-up, anything used to beautify yourself.
    8. Avoid/refrain from using high luxurious seats and beds. Avoid using animal skins.

    These 8 breaches are taken from Hinduism, but since they are not in conflict with Buddhist teachings, we can be free to incorporate them too. Essentially this is an alternative division of following Brahmacharya in body, speech and mind.
    1. Sankalpa – lustful thought of the opposite sex.
    2. Darshan – looking at a member of the opposite sex with carnal desire.
    3. Adhyavasaaya – desire for carnal knowledge.
    4. Guhya Bhaashan – talking privately to a member of the opposite sex.
    5. Keertan – praising his or her qualities to your friends.
    6. Keli – amorous sport with the opposite sex.
    7. Sparsha – desire to touch, embrace or be near a person of the opposite sex.
    8. Kriya Nivritti – sexual enjoyment.

    NOTE - even though it is encouraged to follow the above guidelines of logging in daily to give updates, from a realistic viewpoint there are no strict expectations. Also as far as accountability is concerned, we are all accountable for each other. Even though accountability is meant to be on a one to one basis, as far as this Buddhist Accountability thread is concerned, if you dont have anyone to pair up with, then at least consider that the Buddhist who replies to your post here is accountable for you on that day, whiles on a different day it could be another Buddhist. In this way we are all accountable for each other and move together as a group in addition to trying to keep in touch with each other individually. It helps to add a different layer of accountability in addition to the conventionally accepted view of accountability of one-to-one interaction.



    Sh0e -
    sohei_1984 -
    Gasti -
    lavalight147 - 1
    Patrickio - 1
    Dromedary - 5
    Sebuktegin - 12
    Phoenix87 - 12
    MixerAwersome - 23
    pace4peace - 24
    a_new_chapter - 29
    kammaSati - 35
    Adam4Smith - 58
    janjijoni - 134
    Paranimmita - 265
    pancabalani - 494
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2020 at 12:29 PM
    thinking_differently likes this.
  2. Adam4Smith

    Adam4Smith New Fapstronaut

    Hello my name is Adam. I'd really appreciate your help. I'm really struggling now and have someone like would be so nice since I'm into Buddhist philosophy. What kind of messenger in the most convenient for you?
    bakchod422 and Paranimmita like this.
  3. Hello @Paranimmita @Adam4Smith my name is Tony. I'm also really into buddhist philosophy and teaching. My most recent streak was 90 days, but have slipped up over the past few days. I've been struggling and really hope to find some accountability partner(s) to motivate each other. Maybe we can do this together?
    Paranimmita likes this.
  4. Welcome @Adam4Smith and @a_new_chapter
    Good to connect with you both.
    Sure we can do this together.

    @a_new_chapter its fabulous that you have completed 90 days. If you have written your success story in the subforum then I would like to read it. You can do it again and dont be disheartened.

    Here is my success story if you would like to read it.
  5. Hey @Paranimmita I would be grateful to connect with you! I am about two weeks along on my journey now, and also practice Buddhism as you can probably see by my picture :) I usually use WhatsApp to connect with APs. Any perspective would be greatly appreciated.
    Paranimmita likes this.
  6. This is perfect! Welcome on board.
  7. Sh0e

    Sh0e New Fapstronaut

    Heya @Paranimmita, I would love hear you out and connect with you. I too also use WhatsApp. I am seeking an accountability partner. Thanks
    Paranimmita likes this.
  8. This is perfect. I am in touch with you all through NoFap inbox. Feel free to get to know each other.
  9. MixerAwersome

    MixerAwersome Fapstronaut

    hey @Paranimmita I'm a buddhist and I have started my streak today.
    I would like to be your AP.
    Day 1
    Paranimmita likes this.
  10. lavalight147

    lavalight147 Fapstronaut

    Hi there. I am a Buddhist, but not a deep practitioner. I’m a senior who just relapsed after 28 days; fapping, but no porn. I had an accountability partner in South America for a week or so, but he dropped off the radar. If you are interested, I could use the help. Thank you,
    Paranimmita likes this.
  11. Folks shall we start a group chat in the NoFap inbox? What do you all think. I would like to keep in touch with you all individually and I would encourage you all to do the same to each other. But in addition to this I am open for a group chat on NoFap inbox if you like.
    Gasti likes this.
  12. MixerAwersome

    MixerAwersome Fapstronaut

    Great initiative.I'm in.
  13. Phoenix87

    Phoenix87 Fapstronaut

    hi @Paranimmita I would also like to join. I've read your post in success stories and your journey quite resonates with what I'm doing. I'm also following Buddhist teachings in my reboot (and beyond).
  14. You re welcome @Phoenix87 thanks for getting in touch. I would like to make a group chat and waiting for what the others think.
    In addition to this, I would recommend all of you to join the Buddhist Fapstronauts group.
  15. In case if you guys haven't taken these steps then I would highly recommend them. Some of you have done this already, but in case you haven't then best to consider them.

    1. Delete all P from your computer and other devices.
    2. Delete entire history from your browser, including cookies, passwords etc.
    3. Start using a new different browser if you can (eg. if you used Google Chrome to habitually access P then remove their shortcuts and start using a browser you havnt used before or havnt used recently - if there is history, cookies, favorites then remove them all before starting to use).
    4. Start an entirely new YouTube account and subscribe to channels which feature NoFap content only. You may conside giving your old YouTube account a rest or not use on a regular basis.
    5. Read content on Brahmacharya and NoFap. I can give you a list of titles and articles.
    6. Start a written NoFap journal. Add a template for each day if you like. Templates increase chance of a success reboot if followed properly.
    7. Watch at least one NoFap video a day.
    8. If social media is an obstacle then best to give that a rest during your reboot period. For example I deleted my personal Instagram account because checking out thots on Instagram was on somedays a starting point for PMO.
  16. Venerable Yuttadhammo from Ask a Monk. Check it out.

    Gasti likes this.
  17. Okay I am going to add people who I think are committed to a single chatroom on NoFap even though additionally I also like to keep in touch individually also. Anyone up for this or not please let me know.
    MixerAwersome likes this.
  18. Phoenix87

    Phoenix87 Fapstronaut

    Sounds good to me.
    Paranimmita likes this.
  19. Buddhist Fapstronaut Chatroom on NoFap

    So this is the plan everyone who I am keen on keeping in touch with. I would like to keep in touch with all of you individually on NoFap inbox. I will also be posting replies on this thread from time to time so that those who are willing to get in touch will know about us.

    But also in addition to this I would also like to open a new chatroom for us, because I believe when we are a group we can positively encourage each other.

    Those who like to join I will add.

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