Buddhist Accountability Thread Group A

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Paranimmita, Apr 28, 2020.

  1. Hi everyone, I will be becoming an Anagarika this Aesala full moon, and Anagarika is like a stepping stone into monastic ordination in this monastic lineage.

    Even though I hope to, I wont be involved as much on NoFap because I will be entering the Vassa / Rains retreat.

    So far my celibacy is pretty much untouchable. I feel like I ve already surpassed that summit. Now tht enext thing ahead of me is wet dreams and I hope to conquer this territory to hopefully get full semen retention.
     
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  2. pancabalani

    pancabalani Fapstronaut

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    Fantastic! Congrats for taking this important step. You're creating a lot of merit!
     
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  3. @Adam4Smith @a_new_chapter @pace4peace @Sh0e @MixerAwersome @lavalight147 @Phoenix87 @kammaSati @Gasti @janjijoni @Sebuktegin @pancabalani @Dromedary @sohei_1984 @Patrickio @nyanasami @supreme27 @lamabear @Upekkha

    Hi folks,
    Hope you are all well. Because of the busy monastery schedule I could log on as much as I liked to. In this upcoming full moon after staying in the monastery I am living in under 8 Precepts for 6 months, I will be becoming a postulant (Anagarika) for a year as this is a compulsory step to becoming a Novice.

    As for me I have got somewhere with celibacy and my next step is to overcome wet dreams (as I am convinced that semen retention can boost spiritual progress and development).

    I want to share an important message that pancabalani shared with me.
    This sutta gives a list of blemishes of celibacy (Brahmacharya) Its the Methuna Sutta (AN 7.50) -

    (1) “Here, brahmin, some ascetic or brahmin, claiming to be perfectly celibate, does not actually engage in intercourse with women. But he consents to being rubbed, massaged, bathed, and kneaded by them. He relishes this, desires it, and finds satisfaction in it. This is a breach, flaw, blemish, and blotch of the celibate life. He is called one who lives an impure celibate life, one who is fettered by the bond of sexuality. He is not freed from birth, from old age and death, from sorrow, lamentation, pain, dejection, and anguish; he is not freed from suffering, I say.

    (2) “Again, some ascetic or brahmin, claiming to be perfectly celibate, does not actually engage in intercourse with women; nor does he consent to being rubbed, massaged, bathed, and kneaded by them. But he jokes with women, plays with them, and amuses himself with them….

    (3) “… he does not joke with women, play with them, and amuse himself with them … but he gazes and stares straight into their eyes….

    (4) “… he does not gaze and stare straight into women’s eyes … but he listens to their voices behind a wall or through a rampart as they laugh, talk, sing, or weep….

    (5) “… he does not listen to the voices of women behind a wall or through a rampart as they laugh, talk, sing, or weep … but he recollects laughing, talking, and playing with them in the past….

    (6) “… he does not recollect laughing, talking, and playing with women in the past … but he looks at a householder or a householder’s son enjoying himself furnished and endowed with the five objects of sensual pleasure….

    (7) “… he does not look at a householder or a householder’s son enjoying himself furnished and endowed with the five objects of sensual pleasure, but he lives the spiritual life aspiring for [rebirth in] a certain order of devas, [thinking]: ‘By this virtuous behavior, observance, austerity, or spiritual life I will be a deva or one [in the retinue] of the devas.’ He relishes this, desires it, and finds satisfaction in it. This, too, is a breach, flaw, blemish, and blotch of the celibate life. He is called one who lives an impure celibate life, one who is fettered by the bond of sexuality. He is not freed from birth, from old age and death, from sorrow, lamentation, pain, dejection, and anguish; he is not freed from suffering, I say.


    Hope you all find this useful for your NoFap streak. I am also planning to incorporate these aspects as additional modifications to my template that I use in my journal.
     
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  4. pancabalani

    pancabalani Fapstronaut

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    I'm curious about the journaling format that you're using to keep Brahmacarya at its different levels (body, speech, mind).
     
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  5. pancabalani

    pancabalani Fapstronaut

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    An excerpt from Bākula Sutta (MN 124) that I find super inspiring:


    So I have heard. At one time Venerable Bakkula was staying near Rājagaha, in the Bamboo Grove, the squirrels’ feeding ground.

    Then the naked ascetic Kassapa, who had been a friend of Bakkula’s in the lay life, approached him, and exchanged greetings with him. When the greetings and polite conversation were over, he sat down to one side and said to Venerable Bakkula,


    “Reverend Bakkula, how long has it been since you went forth?”

    “It has been eighty years, reverend.”

    “But in these eighty years, how many times have you had sex?”

    “You shouldn’t ask me such a question. Rather, you should ask me this: ‘But in these eighty years, how many times have sensual perceptions ever arisen in you?’”

    “But in these eighty years, how many times have sensual perceptions ever arisen in you?”

    “In these eighty years, I don’t recall that any sensual perception has ever arisen in me.”


    “This we remember as an incredible quality of Venerable Bakkula.”
     
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  6. I use the format of the 8 Breaks of Brahmacharya. For each of these aspects I give one point for each, depending on whether which aspect was intact during the middle of the day.
     
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  7. How is it going folks? Any news?
     
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  8. pancabalani

    pancabalani Fapstronaut

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    Last week was hard for me to keep the celibacy. A couple days, sensual fantasies kept me awake at night (for what seemed to be hours). I have to admit that I didn't do much to fight the fantasies, probably because of the moment of the day.

    If it would have happen 6 months ago or a year ago, I would have easily given in to it. But I was able to endure those two nights. So, I keep my streak (55 days).

    Somehow I could see that coming (the fantasies). The previous days there were moments when I felt randomly turned on. I attributed that to some fiction reading (is a romance novel, which might not be ideal for the purpose of staying celibate). I chose it because it seemed easy enough for language learning (I was looking for something very light) and I thought it would be pretty harmless.

    I'm about to finish the book now, and after the first few days it has lost that effect on me. I don't get involved with the sexy scenes anymore (which are not explicit, by the way).

    That got me thinking (one more time) about what resources we pick for language learning or any other activity. This branches out to the reasons we might pick a certain (female) tutor, decide to watch a movie, series, video, read a book, or listen to a (female) singer.

    I need to be careful with the materials I use and be aware of the reasons I choose what I choose.

    Thanks for asking @Paranimmita!

    How's everyone else doing?
     
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  9. supreme27

    supreme27 Fapstronaut

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    Hey, congratulations on becoming a postulant!!!

    Everything is going well. I still have a hard problem when I have beautiful girls around me (on the swimming pool or on the lake), but it is much better than before, just using the tips you shared helped me immensely to get my mind back to the present moment.

    Wet dreams are also a challenge. I started last month taking notes of the days when it happens and in what circumstances it happens. Maybe it comes from a wrong though on the previous day or for watching some silly youtube video but still is not easy to get a grasp on it. I also have a strict swimming schedule, which makes me almost all the time tired and with small will power.

    The main question to me is how to know when to push and when to pull. Sometimes I am so tired that I just want to spend all-day watching some random youtube videos.
     
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  10. supreme27

    supreme27 Fapstronaut

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    What language are you learning?
     
  11. pancabalani

    pancabalani Fapstronaut

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    Italian
     
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  12. pancabalani

    pancabalani Fapstronaut

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    There are lots of harmless random YouTube videos you can watch to relax ☺️
     
  13. supreme27

    supreme27 Fapstronaut

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    True, but the ideal would be not "waste time" so much with entertainment or not even use entertainment at all. At least that is my goal.
     
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  14. supreme27

    supreme27 Fapstronaut

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    Last week was kind of hard to keep celibacy in the mind. I was looking at every girl that would pass by and sometimes having sexual thoughts with very little self-control. A few things I notice affect a lot my will power to control myself, one of them is lack of sleep or too much stress, to learn how to deal in this hard situations is always a challenge.
     
  15. supreme27

    supreme27 Fapstronaut

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    Which of the aspects are more challenging to you? Do you feel it is easier to practice inside a monastery where there is "less temptation" or does not matter in the end?
     
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  16. pancabalani

    pancabalani Fapstronaut

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    Have you tried not looking? :)
    Sense restraint is an important part of the path. We feed off beautiful sights, tastes, sounds... all the time. It's a habit that it's been going on for who knows how long. But we can change it. Get nourishment from the breath and meditation.
     
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  17. supreme27

    supreme27 Fapstronaut

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    I tried, hahaha :)
    But sometimes my will power is so low that I give up inwardly. It is like cycles, sometimes is very easy, just the idea of being attracted to another body sounds disgusting, and other times I just think about it.

    I notice that are not so many people active in the group, it would be interesting to have more voices
     
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  18. pancabalani

    pancabalani Fapstronaut

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    A Chain of Bones (MN 54)

    "Suppose a dog, overcome with weakness & hunger, were to come across a slaughterhouse, and there a dexterous butcher or butcher's apprentice were to fling him a chain of bones — thoroughly scraped, without any flesh, smeared with blood. What do you think: Would the dog, gnawing on that chain of bones — thoroughly scraped, without any flesh, smeared with blood — appease its weakness & hunger?"

    "No, lord. And why is that? Because the chain of bones is thoroughly scraped, without any flesh, & smeared with blood. The dog would get nothing but its share of weariness & vexation."

    "In the same way, householder, a disciple of the noble ones considers this point: 'The Blessed One has compared sensuality to a chain of bones, of much stress, much despair, & greater drawbacks.' Seeing this with right discernment, as it actually is, then avoiding the equanimity coming from multiplicity, dependent on multiplicity, he develops the equanimity coming from singleness, dependent on singleness,[1] where sustenance/clinging for the baits of the world ceases without trace.


    [​IMG]
     
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  19. Sorry folks, I couldnt log in for some days because the monastery internet connection to the computers that we use was down.
    Because of monastery schedule I am busy during most days and wont get the time to log in everyday. But I will log in from time to time to check up on the group.

    I will be finishing Phase 3 of Monk Mode by the end of September. Then I will make some upgrades during the month of October and before November I will be moving onto the Phase 4 of Monk Mode. This is to do with developing full celibacy in an immaculate manner. I hope to do this for a period of 180 days.

    With more hours of meditation, if I slip into a state of meditative absorption, then my celibacy will be fully sealed, where not only I will never relapse ever again, but I will never need any type of sexual satisfaction ever again in this life.
     
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  20. pancabalani

    pancabalani Fapstronaut

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    That's the way to go. Excellent!
    Why would we settle for sensual pleasures when we can aspire to something better? I also want to find that.
     

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