Bullshiting Yourself

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Mister Fire, Nov 29, 2018.

  1. Mister Fire

    Mister Fire Fapstronaut

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    There’s some serious shit some of you need to wake up to.You don’t really want to change your life.You use this site (that I find helpful don’t get me wrong) and your «victim/addict» persona as an excuse to keep relapsing.You became comfortable being the guy that keeps relapsing, in fact you VIEW yourself as someone who relapses/is a PMO addict and THAT is the fucking problem ‘cause if you keep defining yourself as a PMO addict, you’ll be an addict for the rest of your life ! Change your beliefs, focus on sobriety not on not fapping ! « But the urges! » Cool story bro but that’s not an excuse! Just do whatever it takes to overcome them, they’ll eventually go away ‘cause no urge in the history of urges has ever lasted forever.If you really wanted to do NoFap you’ll do whatever it takes to do it.If not, you’ll find excuses and « but the urges! » is obviously the easiest invalid excuse that you use (alongside with your addict persona that I’ve talked about) to justify your weakness and lack of discipline and responsibility.Seriously, just stop being a pussy.
     
  2. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    :emoji_raised_hands: yusssssssss
     
  3. Wario32

    Wario32 Fapstronaut
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    You hit the nail on the head everytime, I already went through my little woe is me phase before, I'm sick and tired of it. Just keep moving forward
     
  4. No shit, to the point !!
     
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  5. slapdad jones

    slapdad jones Fapstronaut

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    I can understand a reset and even a relapse. The urges suck to be sure. Ive been on the road in hotels all across the damn country for probably 8 of the last 12 weeks and will continue through the end of the year. I have had urges that made me have to get off the bed put the computer down and do push ups and burpees to get through. I havent given in yet, and continue to fight.
    I also realize that it took me like 30 years to get to this point...for all the reasons you mention. So Im a little more forgiving about it. I take your point though and I agree. Do the fucking work and quit whining.
     
  6. GoPhonix

    GoPhonix Fapstronaut

    The will power speach and pure force takes a lot of energy for overcoming a addiction and is the more likely one to fail. I have overcome drinking cocaine cannabis and struggle with P factor now that is deep and causes withdrawal symptoms that I only can overcome with awareness and acceptance of the urge never with will power that will make me incapable to life, I then have no power eft to think straight and get exhausted and weak minted in the end . But you will look at my counter will come to conclusion I just don't have the will power. But do you know the symptoms of others and how massive there are... I know you want to help but please pe careful when doing so there are many ways to heal and some will have to go the bumpy road. If you don’t believe me look it up ...
     
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  7. When I found out the reason why I was feeling the way I was which was post acute withdrawal syndrome and the damage I was doing to my brain and nervous system I swore never again. I always knew nofap helped me feel better but I never knew it was me literally withdrawaling from porn, too stupid and naieve to understand probably.
     
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  8. Skyfall1125

    Skyfall1125 Fapstronaut

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    Well said OP. You've got to want it guys. It took me two years to get passed day 24. I kept resetting, and I started convincing myself that it doesn't feel natural to resist the urge. It's all lies. The urges do go away. PMO is not natural. A man that has a healthy heart and mind should be able to have an erection and not be required to reach climax just to "feel normal again." That's a lie that I believed for a very long time in my life. 10+ year abuser here, and I didn't freedom from this addiction until age 33. Now, my life will never be the same again. I will never go back. I come back to this forum every day to help and encourage others to break through because I know it is hard.
     
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  9. Z.e.n.o

    Z.e.n.o Fapstronaut

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    Please, i would like to tell an important thing..

    No willpower is used to "overcome" fapping, smoking, addiction, and is not overcoming at all.

    I repeat,

    No willpower is needed to stop this vicious circle

    Absolutely no willpower. I'll explain why

    If you rely only on willpower, you will generate a desire, a part of yourself that will say "i must not masturbate". But the desire of fapping is there. So another part of yourself is saying "i want to fap". You will split yourself in half and go mad.

    Just saying, "No , i will not relapse, i will make all efforts to fight this desire, that is part of me" becomes a battle between you and you!
    How can one win??
    YOU CAN'T.
    You are making the thing bigger, when all you have to do is just come out.
    If you give attention to itin this way you will make it a problem, when it's not.
    If you stopped ad activity naturally, are you thinking about yourself not doing it every day? No, it simply disappeared.

    This is one of the most powerful discoveries of this century.
    It has been told us by yogis, masters of minds of the east, but also by PNL.

    One beautiful example is Allen's Carr book. This man explain how the power of AWARENESS is needed, not the willpower.
    All yoga and tantra is based on awareness.

    So, you simply need it disappearing! Forever.

    I would like to make this clear because if you fight yourself you will get only WORSE.
    Not only, you will give fault of your failures to NOFAP, when it has no fault at all.

    So, stop fighting yourself. We can approach this totally differently.
    I can give some material if one is interested.

    PS: i'm an ex smoker, stopped not with willpower but with awareness, with Allen's Carr Easyway method. It will tell you all you need. And no effort at all, no struggle, only joy.
     
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  10. Z.e.n.o

    Z.e.n.o Fapstronaut

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    This man is right. Willpower will only destroy you!! Awareness and acceptance are the way.
     
  11. Player 1

    Player 1 Fapstronaut

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    @Z.e.n.o Agreed. People think that willpower or self-discipline is the way to go against addiction but it's not entierely. Sure self-discipline is perfect to improve your life but it is not the ultimate cure, you can still do whatever you planed to do on a daily basis and relapse miserably afterwards. Self disciplined or not, your plan was to ditch PMO. Awareness is truely the essence of this struggle, what keeps us in the fight. Never forget the fight, never forget athe years lost in madness. I like to think addiction is a form of insanity. (Doing the same thing over and over again expecting things to change)
     
  12. Mister Fire

    Mister Fire Fapstronaut

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    @Z.e.n.o @GoPhonix And who the fuck said I was against awareness ? You think I overcame my urges being unconscious ? I don’t know why you guys separate these two things but the truth is that you need BOTH awareness AND willpower.It’s not rocket science.
     
  13. Z.e.n.o

    Z.e.n.o Fapstronaut

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    I wasn't really answering like u were wrong, it wasn't a reply at all. What you wrote took me. I'm not using this site to justify relapsing, but what you said is something that may be hard to face with. My comment came just like this, sorry if it seems weird or is not very much concerned with your topic.

    PS willpower is not needed at all. With willpower i mean that one is mentally going with "i must not masturbate, i must resist, i must quit". I lived it with smoking addiction and it's true, no willpower at all
     
  14. Mister Fire

    Mister Fire Fapstronaut

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    I totally agree that’s why I said in my post « focus on sobriety not on not fapping ».There’s some misunderstanding going on here with what we call willpower.
     
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  15. GoPhonix

    GoPhonix Fapstronaut

    There are many schools to be successful and it can help to kick asses and stress point over excited but it might sound odd to ones that try right now to come in peace with one self like me. And as I pointed if this is what helped you and made you free - how they say who heals is right for the case ... but your post is angry and confronting up to the extend that ones that describe there failures here to reflect and get help are rejected by. But I see that you do not mean it this way you point to the fact that outing is reliving and can be justification for acting out a new reason – and that mindset is indeed dangures as it closes the door of help it even can create a habbid of using NoFap as excuse I can imagine that this thoughts can occur. On the other hand reflecting on relapse can not encourages as excuse even if the the mechanism you pointing out is exciting. Don’t me wrong it is good that you pointed it out and properly it helped even in this form.



    I also if you allow I have more the feeling this is not a so fundamental discussion here we are bascly aligned its about your frustration when trying to be helpful and people still fuck it up all the time - I had such emotions too at AAA, some people realy need different type of help and more intervention then “just” NoFap. It is scary how deep rock bottom can be for some
     
  16. Z.e.n.o

    Z.e.n.o Fapstronaut

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    Now i got it man
     
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  17. Please All, be on topic.

    Thank you.
     
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