Busted! Betrayal Trauma

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Addictus, Sep 24, 2021.

  1. Addictus

    Addictus Fapstronaut

    Hello. Been lurking for a couple years, practicing life without pmo periodically off and on.
    I and my wife have been married for a very long time. In the old days we watched porn together while making love to each other. But she saw porn for what it is and we decided to drop it from our lives. I crossed my fingers and secretly continued to pmo behind her back for decades. I wasn’t a everyday addict and managed to keep it a secret for a long time until mid August last summer.
    I relapsed after a two week run and my wife walked in on me at the worst possible time just as I was shooting out two weeks worth of semen on my belly. Tablet in hand, sprawled out nude on my back on our bed she freaked out.
    Boys. If you’re married you need to get a handle on this now. Seeing someone got through Betrayal Trauma is a horrible experience! (Google it) Especially if you’re the cause. I was kicked out of the house, confessed to the kids what I did and started therapy yesterday to save this decades old marriage.
    I recommend you all research what women go through when they catch their husbands using porn. I might have been able to use it to fight this addictive habit.
    I haven’t looked at any porn since then and only masturbated once a couple weeks after the bust. I didn’t enjoy it at all and haven’t since.
    My wife is okay with me masturbating, even with toys because she can’t have sex anymore but I betrayed her because of the images I was viewing as I pleasured myself.
    Because I started therapy she’s now just looking at me in my eyes again.
    The bust happened on 8/11 and I haven’t even had a urge since then. I never want to see her hurt like that again. The whole ordeal was worst then any death of a love one.
    If we weren’t so old and broke she surely would have left me she said.
    Married boys and girls quit before it’s too late.
    Anyway you’ll be glad to know that my therapist recommended Nofap as tool to help me along this journey so you got that going for you.
    Have a nice day.
  2. Fascinating story. Thanks for your share and welcome to Nofap. Love that you ahev such a supportive partner. So much you could share with others about that. Do keep posting!
    Hros likes this.
  3. philo358

    philo358 Fapstronaut

    Same story with me been married long time also wife and I watched porn and read erotic stories together. She to got disinterested . I continued and got hooked
    My brain has fried and now I’m PMO 27 days trying to stay strong to be a better man and husband ps never got caught though phew!!! She is very supportive as I told her I was addicted
    You to have a nice day
    Addictus, Nugget9 and Hros like this.
  4. Honda_china

    Honda_china New Fapstronaut

    How about a porn addict like me that has no wife? How will I be able to get someone to assist me? Although my porn watching and masturbating has reduced to twice in a week, I want to eliminate it. The longest streak I've gone is 40 days. For experienced fapstronauts, how do I pull off from porn completely? How can I go on a six months streak or something? Anytime I stop watching for a long time, I get heart palpitations and penile twitching and wet dreams. What do I do?
    Hros likes this.
  5. Addictus

    Addictus Fapstronaut

  6. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

    The longest you’ve gone is 40 days. Those are withdrawals you’re experiencing. You have conditioned your body to expect huge amounts of dopamine and orgasm. My husband had withdrawals for about 4-6 months. At least that’s when we noticed he started leveling off. You don’t go on a streak. You get into recovery for addiction. You don’t need a partner for that and many times not having a partner can make it easier.
    D'AverageJoe and Hros like this.
  7. Hros

    Hros Fapstronaut

    Welcome and good luck!
    I hope things work out for you.
    Addictus likes this.
  8. Nugget9

    Nugget9 Fapstronaut

    Been here and doing incredible now, just stop and feel like the true man you are. You can do it. Change in this realm will open your eyes. Check out my posts, crazy shit.
    Addictus likes this.

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