Hello. Been lurking for a couple years, practicing life without pmo periodically off and on. I and my wife have been married for a very long time. In the old days we watched porn together while making love to each other. But she saw porn for what it is and we decided to drop it from our lives. I crossed my fingers and secretly continued to pmo behind her back for decades. I wasn’t a everyday addict and managed to keep it a secret for a long time until mid August last summer. I relapsed after a two week run and my wife walked in on me at the worst possible time just as I was shooting out two weeks worth of semen on my belly. Tablet in hand, sprawled out nude on my back on our bed she freaked out. Boys. If you’re married you need to get a handle on this now. Seeing someone got through Betrayal Trauma is a horrible experience! (Google it) Especially if you’re the cause. I was kicked out of the house, confessed to the kids what I did and started therapy yesterday to save this decades old marriage. I recommend you all research what women go through when they catch their husbands using porn. I might have been able to use it to fight this addictive habit. I haven’t looked at any porn since then and only masturbated once a couple weeks after the bust. I didn’t enjoy it at all and haven’t since. My wife is okay with me masturbating, even with toys because she can’t have sex anymore but I betrayed her because of the images I was viewing as I pleasured myself. Because I started therapy she’s now just looking at me in my eyes again. The bust happened on 8/11 and I haven’t even had a urge since then. I never want to see her hurt like that again. The whole ordeal was worst then any death of a love one. If we weren’t so old and broke she surely would have left me she said. Married boys and girls quit before it’s too late. Anyway you’ll be glad to know that my therapist recommended Nofap as tool to help me along this journey so you got that going for you. Have a nice day.