Cake; after the crisis

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by 0111zerozero11, Jan 23, 2019.

  1. Nikon or Cannon?
     
  2. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Nikon, duh ;)
     
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  3. Yes...OF COURSE! :)
     
    0111zerozero11 likes this.
  4. I got my wife a Nikon D850 January 2018 -- as a surprise anniversary gift. She really, really likes it.
     
  5. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Lucky!

    Any Nikon dslr is top notch :)
    Is it a hobby?
     
  6. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

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    If you don’t mind me asking, where did you find the recording? On a hard drive? The internet?
     
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  7. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Oh man, not on the internet. I've tried searching the internet, but wow, who knew there was so much filth out there. No way I could ever go through it all; it'd be like finding a needle in a haystack. :(

    It's been right under my nose the whole time.

    That's all I can say, my friend
     
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  8. Susannah

    Susannah Fapstronaut

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    Yup. Me, too. Right under my nose. So sorry it happened to you at all and so sorry you found it.
     
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  9. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

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    I wish I had the luxury of that. On sick days when I was in elementary school I only had 3 options on tv after The Price Is Right ended: soap operas, Wok With Yan, or old reruns of Gilligans Island. I chose the less of all evils. I remember very distinctly really liking The Professor and thinking that vast knowledge really would be an advantage in a survivor situation like being a castaway. For whatever reason lately, I keep thinking that my NoFap voice is somehow based on the Professor character in some way. Like my role here on NoFap Island is to relay a lot of technical jargon to everyone. Not that I've been consciously doing that based on an old tv character, but that looking at my NoFap behavior in hindsight has been reminding me of that old character. Because it's been on my mind I totally crowbarred it into the gif conversation.

    So yeah...umm....glad I got all that off my chest. :D
     
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  10. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

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    Who in their right mind would have been looking for behavior like this? It's crazy by any set of standards.
     
  11. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    I'll be waiting for my nickle ;)
     
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  12. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    My book is gonna be lit
     
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  13. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

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    nb2.jpg
     
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  14. Max Fisher

    Max Fisher Fapstronaut

    0111zerozero11 likes this.
  15. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    You should get banned for this

    Nightmares.

    *totally kidding on the ban until I get replacement therapist* ;)
     
  16. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Stahhhhhhp :emoji_sob::emoji_joy::emoji_sweat_smile:
     
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  17. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    My journaling has clearly taken a nosedive & it's obvious this is directly correlated with the quicksand I can't get out of.
    So.
    Cake is going to stop staying all inside her head. I'm going to get back to putting my thoughts in writings; long ones for a book, mr. used car sales lawyer.

    Divorce is devastating to any normal human. When divorce happens because you were forced into it, it's not only devastating, it is isolating. You suddenly become the enemy. Nevermind that you are literally just trying to save your sanity & hold on to that tiny sound in the background that's been saying You are so much better than this & deserve so much better. Please Cake, find the girl you were 10 years ago.

    Man versus self; protagonist versus antagonist. This is my struggle & everytime something of extreme significance is brought to light, I revert back to timid, in my head, Cake. Never locking eyes with a stranger, being hyper alert, hopeless in my journey.

    The correlation I'm finding, is when these unknown/buried things are found, they overtake the rational, strong, defiant woman that I've worked really hard on. It's like the path to my growth & healing just retreats into black & I'm that lost person again; sobbing at night, alone, blaming myself. Hopeless & seeing 45 reflections in the mirror.

    I've learned enough to know that the universe likes things joined on all frequencies & when you doubt or don't have understanding about things, you get really scared. This fear sends me backwards & the more out if touch I get with my inner being, the more I freak the hell out.

    Here's why I think my journaling is such a catalyst to centering myself; it let's me spill my conscious thoughts out to human beings who kind of "get it" & these human beings have a great capacity to help me acknowledge what my inner being really is when it's free.

    Full circle.

     
  18. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    This week has been worse than the one when I filed. I didn't think it could get worse. I never think it can get worse. It always gets worse. I just want peace; I just want to not live in fear anymore. I am a fucking human being. With rights. Tight rope.

     
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  19. mcgrim

    mcgrim Fapstronaut

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    There are always good times and bad times but you will make it through this. No matter how dark things look find your weapon of choice and keep moving forward.

     
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  20. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Climbing out of grief, I think. 24 hours of being alone was what the doctor ordered & my God, what this has done for me. I needed that recharge; I was simply exhausted in mind & body. Nothing good comes from an overly exhausted Cake & wars.

    I'm ready for the next battle.

     

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