Cake; after the crisis

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by 0111zerozero11, Jan 23, 2019.

  1. Porn is destroying marriages. That is for sure.
  2. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    There are far more wives on here that are trying to make their marriage work instead of divorce & this really skewed my idea of the impact it truly does have.

    It was the 1st time I've been face to face with someone that has walked in my shoes & I nearly broke down. So hurt, these women... I can still feel their pain. I was looking at myself about 3 months ago & it was sobering.
  3. You can be such a wonderful source of support and comfort and care for these other women.

    I was just thinking last night about my own wife...and how she could help other women in similar circumstances. (I think that she/we need to be a little more progressed in our current situation.)

    At CR last was testimony night -- and a woman talked about her own lifelong battle with marriage of 33 years and how that somehow survived (and is now thriving) -- those two started a halfway house for recovering alcoholics and other addictions.

    Anyway, that gave me the idea of survivors likr my wife .. like you .. helping others.
  4. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    I've got something stirring in my head regarding this...

    My purpose, you know?

    Maybe one day I'll be able to work with all of the survivors ;)
  5. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    How did you see into the future by writing this, Ram?

    The death of Cake's soul took a decade to happen. Time measured by meaningful moments grew so very slow. I became a character in The Neverending Story dying in the swamp of sadness.

    It was only when signs I could not ignore appeared that I realized, unless I did something my time here on Earth would be spent failing to resist conformity & power. I would become a human version of The Nothing. I would have no meaningful moments that give our souls what they need to thrive. The death of a soul doesn't last forever; eventually, it really does die & then what? I didn't want to find out that answer.

    My time here is going to mean something. My soul has been reborn & I've been taking really good care of it.

    Cake has a new lease on life & I'm guarding this soul with everything in me. Nothing is going to hurt me or my new & improved soul ever again.

    Thank you for reminding me I made the right choice.
  6. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Dear man I married,

    Read the post above.

    With your big eyes
    And your big lies
    With your big eyes
    And your big lies
    I saw you creeping around the garden What are you hiding?
    I beg your pardon don't tell me "nothing"
    I used to think that I could trust you
    I was your woman
    You were my knight and shining companion
    To my surprise my loves demise was his own greed and lullaby
    With your big eyes, and your big lies
    With your big eyes, and your big lies
    I noticed you got hot in summer you had no comfort
    Your shirt was cotton your face was sunburned
    You paced around like you'd been waiting Waiting for something
    Your world was burning and I stood watching
    As I looked on the flames grew high you watched me frown
    I said "goodbye"
    With your big eyes, and your big lies
    With your big eyes, and your big lies
    Is it me was I wrong to have trusted you
    Did I see what I wanted, what wasn't true? Was I wrong to go on like a little fool?
    It's amazing what women in love will do With your big eyes
    And your big lies
    With your big eyes
    And your big lies
  7. That's a great lyric. Very country. In a good way.
    0111zerozero11 likes this.
  8. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Just sitting here thinking about my deposition from a little over a month ago. My feisty attorney, God love him, asks the x why he wrote such great things about me on here & in texts if he thought I was the anti-Christ. Response; I was just saying what she wanted to hear.

    Good times.

    Driving today I noticed something. The most beautiful white buds growing out of the limbs of sullen, bare, winterized trees.

    Cake! Look at that shit! Your favorite season is coming; the season of rebirth for all things in nature. The season of unexpected atmospheric changes that give you the same feeling as porn gave your husband. Good God, Cake. You made it. You made it through a season of grey. A season a lot of humans cripple under due to it being cold, crappy, cabin fever, dead, everything is dead, no changing just constant cold & grey. Cake, you amaze me.

    The waterworks turned on when I saw those white buds. Such an ordinary thing to be grateful for & I am so very grateful.

    Getting the camera prepped for springtime tornado clicks. Gives me life, those twisters.

  9. Cool song. Spring is coming. Gardening is coming. You did it.
  10. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    You supplied the soundtrack.

    That helped me do it.

    Okra all day every day :)
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. mcgrim

    mcgrim Fapstronaut

    It not only destroys marriages, it destroys people.
    fadedfidelity and Susannah like this.
  12. Cake. I am worried about you and I am certain other people here are as well. Are you ok?
    Hros, kropo82, Atomicflea and 3 others like this.
  13. DesperateHousewife7

    DesperateHousewife7 Fapstronaut

    At this point, I think I am fully aware and have accepted that he isn’t going to change. I know he is still using and I know that this will be my life forever. An endless cycle of betrayal and false hope. But this has been my life for such a long time, my entire adult life. It’s all I’ve known in a relationship. I don’t know HOW to end it, function without it, and I’m fully convinced that every man I end up with will find me disappointing, disgusting and annoying. The thought of going through the whole process of ending this and then being back out there in the big world without a partner terrifies me more than it terrifies me to be stuck in this hell forever. I feel so trapped. I want out of this situation but I don’t know how.
    hope4healing and fadedfidelity like this.

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