Calling all cybersex / phonesex / chat folk

Hi all,

As a long long time cybersex chat fiend I wanted to start a thread or a good resource for folk to discuss the issues that they have had using chat apps to engage in cybersex and other activities.

In nearly all my adult life I have used cybersex as a conduit to get off under the illusion that I wasn't cheating on my partner and that because I wasn't having 'hookups' or meeting people in person I wasn't being dishonest (even though I was sending nudes and getting off etc). Now fast forward 10ish years and hear I am married understanding that it is terrible behaviour. That part I said about no hookups wasn't exactly true either...as I progressed in my poor behaviour online I started normalising visiting massage rub n tug palours amd after fuck knows how many visits I had a mental breakdown (anxiety) and sought help. Thankfully I haven't been back to the palours but I still engage online occassionally. I love the interaction of chat so I have also used Skype or any number of apps to engage in cam style sex or even phonesex.

It is all the same shit whether you are PMO'ing or chatting and sexting. All addictive and destructive behaviour. My therapist told me chat apps are like playing the pokies / slot machine. Your brain puts enough coins through the machines (tries to hookup) and eventually if it plays long enough (and I have played a lot) you will get a jackpot reward which is dopamine when you have an interaction. This shit is no good for us.

In any event we are all here in this forum with a common goal to leave this behind and for me at 35ish days I am making good inroads. I'd just love to hear your experiences and any sucess stories to motivate us all on our road to health.

Thanks all

 

You're doing well!
I am quite early on in this process but am having positive effects with women being nicer to me, me objectifting them less, and also things like noticing beautiful views more. I'm hoping that after reaching a few months there will be still more benefits..

 

I'm taking time off everything that has attractive women, even if it isn't necessarily sexual.
We have been saturated with images of women for out whole lives, so why not take time off?

 

I'm not saying to stay away from dating sites. I am saying though that if you use chat apps to engage in cybersex, sexting or nudes etc then it can become every bit as addictive as PMO.

 

An unusual approach, but you know that. You are trying..

 

Sounds like you are addressing your issues using a number of techniques which is awesome. I know that the chat rooms have been no good for me in terms of sexting etc and I always thought that even in a relationship that it wasn't morally wrong cos I wasn't meeting up. This is where you get to with porn / chat / cyber etc. Your mind goes to shit and your values are screwed up.

I now realise it is a terrible thing to do to your SO and you treat the person you are chatting to like shit for your gratification.

There is so much in my life i'd love to make amends for and do better and now as I approach 40 days sober I feel like I might get tgat opportunity to reflect on my behaviour and help others out of the gutyer and onto a better path.

I am still not out of the woods but I am trying

 

I like that you are trying to get the nofap message out there but if it was me personally I would be staying the fuck outta the chat rooms and apps to avoid any temptations.

 

Unfortunately sectioning shit off in my life became an issue for me. If you make decisions based off your values you wouldn't watch porn or chat. But because that isn't the real us or we don't perceive it as an issue we don't acknowledge the harm it causes us or others. Glad i'm moving away ftom it all. Approaching 40 days

 

I know you have good intentions in trying to beat this but I can't help but feel that getting blocked shouldn't be your objective. It should be staying out of them. It is a slippery slope and I know that if I was in a chat room looking to spread the word of nofap i'd likely be asking for nudes in no time no matter what my intentions