Can’t go 24 hours without it

[jurte]

I have a big problem. 24 years old and I’ve been fighting this addiction since I was a teen. Longest I’ve ever gone was 60+ days and that was like five years ago. I’m single, my previous relationships finished because of my decision to do so. Can’t say that it wasn’t fault of my PMO addiction.

I can’t say how long I’ve been a member of this forum. Concept of NoFap felt amazing at first, but I got discouraged by the sheer fact of its existence. To me it’s not about a challenge, it’s about beating an addiction. It’s impossible in my opinion to do so when every single person treats it as normal. But I know it’s not. I feel horrible days after. Social anxiety, body dysmorphia, sleep deprivation, low sex drive, sense of inferiority and horrible physical appearance are proofs of that.

I’m an avid enjoyer of physical workout. I used to go to the gym and I plan to go back to it in July. I try to do my push-ups everyday. I was always a skinny guy. I built my body and it’s noticeable that I’m athletic (at least) and have some muscles even though I’m still super skinny. After a workout and during I feel like a God. Then I take a shower and I hate my body again. I feel small, not developed. My daily dose of physical exercise are 1000 push-ups. I know, no one believes me. Of course it’s not always about the form in my case and sometimes I feel that I’m doing it wrong, but I love the pump.

On the other hand I’m addicted to validation. When I have my PMO sessions I post my nudes on various subreddits and show my body to camgirls. So it’s a circle. I workout, I have the pump and then I want to show it to e-girls and I release my load. Of course, all gains go to hell after you get rid of testosterone.

Since I’m not in a relationship I don’t have a source of release. This is a perfect scenario to build up semen and testosterone. But no I goon all the time.

I’m 24 years old. Still don’t have driver’s license and still living with my parents. Only thing I’m proud of is that I’m getting m masters degree soon. I also am in the process of quitting my job by the end of the June and I have to look for a new one. Adult life without college scares me.

I need help. I’m so lost I don’t know what to do. So tired and helpless that I have no strength anymore. I miss my ex. Everyday I think about her and how foolish of me was to break up with her. I look for her in the streets in our conversations and etc. She found a new guy. He’s jacked and handsome. Something I’ll never be. And that kills me cause I know he’s a normal guy who doesn’t have this problem. I feel inferior and weak. Please guys, I need to get back on this horse. So sorry for venting, but I do not know who to talk to about this stuff. I need to go at least one week without it

 

[Deleted Account]

When I was reading your vent, I felt like I was you for a minute but the difference was that I am a virgin and that you are 24, I am 20. Both of us are skinny but we like to workout (if it makes you feel better I am about 60kg, 6'2, and I am underweight on the scale of BMI, I feel like a twig whenever I go out and that takes a lot of my focus, I'm so insecure but learning to let go recently), what I don't do is show my body or ever visit cam models. I agree that sometimes nofap is assumed like just a challenge but it's more than that, it is the freedom to decide what you want to do with your life without porn and not being enslaved by it like a demon having a tight grip on your soul not giving you a chance to escape. I also experienced that whenever I exercise, then the next day I release and my philosophy on that is that I lose my gains and start from scratch, which messes me up mentally cause I believe the lies I tell myself. What I do is journal now and meditate whenever I can (5 minutes is a start, just focus on slow breathing). Probably what I can tell ourselves right now as advice is that we should realize that we have value ourselves (why would you assume that the new guy she is with doesn't have this problem, maybe he does or maybe he doesn't, why does that matter, you are comparing yourself to others) in my case I had experience with being in a relationship but my problem was that I didn't find value in myself that time and I focused on her rather than myself. If you want to go for a week or more, reduce that, and try going for 2 days as your PR. Tips I have in mind is do not, for any reason or excuses, binge after you relapse once. Don't edge. Keep yourself busy. You might probably slip if you keep feeling sorry for yourself. Also, know that relapses are inevitable in the future but that is okay, don't give up.

 

[Keepitsimple1989]

I have a big problem. 24 years old and I’ve been fighting this addiction since I was a teen. Longest I’ve ever gone was 60+ days and that was like five years ago. I’m single, my previous relationships finished because of my decision to do so. Can’t say that it wasn’t fault of my PMO addiction.

I can’t say how long I’ve been a member of this forum. Concept of NoFap felt amazing at first, but I got discouraged by the sheer fact of its existence. To me it’s not about a challenge, it’s about beating an addiction. It’s impossible in my opinion to do so when every single person treats it as normal. But I know it’s not. I feel horrible days after. Social anxiety, body dysmorphia, sleep deprivation, low sex drive, sense of inferiority and horrible physical appearance are proofs of that.

I’m an avid enjoyer of physical workout. I used to go to the gym and I plan to go back to it in July. I try to do my push-ups everyday. I was always a skinny guy. I built my body and it’s noticeable that I’m athletic (at least) and have some muscles even though I’m still super skinny. After a workout and during I feel like a God. Then I take a shower and I hate my body again. I feel small, not developed. My daily dose of physical exercise are 1000 push-ups. I know, no one believes me. Of course it’s not always about the form in my case and sometimes I feel that I’m doing it wrong, but I love the pump.

On the other hand I’m addicted to validation. When I have my PMO sessions I post my nudes on various subreddits and show my body to camgirls. So it’s a circle. I workout, I have the pump and then I want to show it to e-girls and I release my load. Of course, all gains go to hell after you get rid of testosterone.

Since I’m not in a relationship I don’t have a source of release. This is a perfect scenario to build up semen and testosterone. But no I goon all the time.

I’m 24 years old. Still don’t have driver’s license and still living with my parents. Only thing I’m proud of is that I’m getting m masters degree soon. I also am in the process of quitting my job by the end of the June and I have to look for a new one. Adult life without college scares me.

I need help. I’m so lost I don’t know what to do. So tired and helpless that I have no strength anymore. I miss my ex. Everyday I think about her and how foolish of me was to break up with her. I look for her in the streets in our conversations and etc. She found a new guy. He’s jacked and handsome. Something I’ll never be. And that kills me cause I know he’s a normal guy who doesn’t have this problem. I feel inferior and weak. Please guys, I need to get back on this horse. So sorry for venting, but I do not know who to talk to about this stuff. I need to go at least one week without it

hey brother,

thought I would comment an a few points you made.

ill start with the comment you made “gains leave when testosterone leaves”, I can elaborate on this. I use to do natural competitive bodybuilding competitions (won both competitions I entered) and even though I don’t compete anymore, I still train 6 days a week and have a bodybuilders physique. I can tell you what you stated is a myth, sperm leaving you body doesn’t decrease testosterone and holding onto your sperm doesn’t increase testosterone. I can elaborate more if you like, however I just wanted to let you know “sperm leaving your body” has no affect on your levels of testosterone.

just take it simple brother, don’t think of it as a goal, just make it a lifestyle change like I did. I decided to stop watching porn and masturbation. I never stopped orgasm (I have sex with women, no escorts). I will also add I suffered from PIED. Thankfully, I no longer suffer from this.

keep it simple, just make it a lifestyle change and stop watching porn and stop masturbating.

of you find a woman to have sex with, don’t be afraid of releasing sperm, and if you can’t get an erection during sec, that’s ok, it will get better as time goes on as long as you don’t watch porn and masturbate.

if you need any tips on training, muscle building and diet feel free to hit me up

 

[cleaningupmyact]

To me it’s not about a challenge, it’s about beating an addiction.

If that's the case, then I recommend checking out SAA. (Saa-recovery.org) has lots of free meetings everyday It's a 12-step recovery program to help with sex addiction. My journey got a Lot easier once I admitted I was a sex-addict who needs help.

So it’s a circle. I workout, I have the pump and then I want to show it to e-girls

sounds like you've fallen into the trap of using workout as a way to feed PMO with body image. I've been there, it's crappy. I suggest finding some hobbies and skills that don't feed your addiction this way - meditation, painting, board games...stuff that cannot be used to fuel the pornification of life.

Also umm why are you calling it "the pump." That is super weird. Just call it a healthy workout, or something like that, and focus on the good that comes from within.

all gains go to hell after you get rid of testosterone.

no....who told you that?

Youve got a lot of good things going for ya, and a lot of potential to beat this addiction back. But you are turning yourself into a e-boy cam whore, a commodified body like so many PMO actors. Time to honor and respect yourself and cut that out. Delete the reddit (it is poison) and join some local clubs and activities, get out into life and nature - and join a 12 step group!

You can do it man!

 

[jurte]

hey brother,

thought I would comment an a few points you made.

ill start with the comment you made “gains leave when testosterone leaves”, I can elaborate on this. I use to do natural competitive bodybuilding competitions (won both competitions I entered) and even though I don’t compete anymore, I still train 6 days a week and have a bodybuilders physique. I can tell you what you stated is a myth, sperm leaving you body doesn’t decrease testosterone and holding onto your sperm doesn’t increase testosterone. I can elaborate more if you like, however I just wanted to let you know “sperm leaving your body” has no affect on your levels of testosterone.

just take it simple brother, don’t think of it as a goal, just make it a lifestyle change like I did. I decided to stop watching porn and masturbation. I never stopped orgasm (I have sex with women, no escorts). I will also add I suffered from PIED. Thankfully, I no longer suffer from this.

keep it simple, just make it a lifestyle change and stop watching porn and stop masturbating.

of you find a woman to have sex with, don’t be afraid of releasing sperm, and if you can’t get an erection during sec, that’s ok, it will get better as time goes on as long as you don’t watch porn and masturbate.

if you need any tips on training, muscle building and diet feel free to hit me up

Thank you my brother! I appreciate that!

 

[jurte]

When I was reading your vent, I felt like I was you for a minute but the difference was that I am a virgin and that you are 24, I am 20. Both of us are skinny but we like to workout (if it makes you feel better I am about 60lbs, 6'2, and I am underweight on the scale of BMI, I feel like a twig whenever I go out and that takes a lot of my focus, I'm so insecure but learning to let go recently), what I don't do is show my body or ever visit cam models. I agree that sometimes nofap is assumed like just a challenge but it's more than that, it is the freedom to decide what you want to do with your life without porn and not being enslaved by it like a demon having a tight grip on your soul not giving you a chance to escape. I also experienced that whenever I exercise, then the next day I release and my philosophy on that is that I lose my gains and start from scratch, which messes me up mentally cause I believe the lies I tell myself. What I do is journal now and meditate whenever I can (5 minutes is a start, just focus on slow breathing). Probably what I can tell ourselves right now as advice is that we should realize that we have value ourselves (why would you assume that the new guy she is with doesn't have this problem, maybe he does or maybe he doesn't, why does that matter, you are comparing yourself to others) in my case I had experience with being in a relationship but my problem was that I didn't find value in myself that time and I focused on her rather than myself. If you want to go for a week or more, reduce that, and try going for 2 days as your PR. Tips I have in mind is do not, for any reason or excuses, binge after you relapse once. Don't edge. Keep yourself busy. You might probably slip if you keep feeling sorry for yourself. Also, know that relapses are inevitable in the future but that is okay, don't give up.

Thank you bro!

 

[Keepitsimple1989]

I guess you mean 60kg and not lbs, lol. You seem to be a hardgainer. Would be interested in what you eat!

Definitely seems to be a hard gainer.

I will say, most people struggle because they don’t really know what macro ratio their diet should consist of, and a lot of times they don’t have the right training program.

I won’t lie, a lot also has to do with genetics. Things like bone structure, muscle insertions and muscle bellies play a huge role. Some people aren’t genetically prone to add a lot of muscle and some don’t have the right genetics to create the illusion of having a lot of muscle.

that being said, you can always be a better version of yourself, you can’t change your genetics, but you can change to with the genetics that you have.

 

[Deleted Account]

I guess you mean 60kg and not lbs, lol. You seem to be a hardgainer. Would be interested in what you eat!

AHHAHAHHAHA definitely just realized that right now, imagine man!! Yeah, you are about right, I am an ectomorph, sometimes I have a mood where I eat a lot but I really need to eat A LOT. I try increasing my calories by 2500 to 3000 maybe even more. It is hard to gain muscle but after years of just doing calisthenics, I think I made some progress (30max pushups and 18-20max pullups depending on how fresh my body and form are), transitioning into weight lifting. I am currently following Jason Blaha's 5x5 program.

I make a protein shake so that it more easier to consume (liquid calories rather than chewing) Ingredients are oats, raw egg, milk, honey, and peanut butter, and if chocolate is available I add them. I mostly have rice every day, I cook fried rice to makes it easier to digest. Other than that, I eat almost anything but have a low appetite most of the time.

 

[Keepitsimple1989]

AHHAHAHHAHA definitely just realized that right now, imagine man!! Yeah, you are about right, I am an ectomorph, sometimes I have a mood where I eat a lot but I really need to eat A LOT. I try increasing my calories by 2500 to 3000 maybe even more. It is hard to gain muscle but after years of just doing calisthenics, I think I made some progress (30max pushups and 18-20max pullups depending on how fresh my body and form are), transitioning into weight lifting. I am currently following Jason Blaha's 5x5 program.

I make a protein shake so that it more easier to consume (liquid calories rather than chewing) Ingredients are oats, raw egg, milk, honey, and peanut butter, and if chocolate is available I add them. I mostly have rice every day, I cook fried rice to makes it easier to digest. Other than that, I eat almost anything but have a low appetite most of the time.

hey brother,

you should be proud of your accomplishments with your body transformation, any result is better than no result.

little tips

1. Don’t listen to Jason blaha, please. That man has no idea what he is talking about. If you want to gain muscle, the best is a push, pull, leg program and next best option would be 2 body parts per day with a 1 day rest throughout the week. I use to to compete in natural competitive bodybuilding, trust me on this.

2. what is your macro breakdown? A lot of times people aren’t consuming the right macro ratio so I would be curious to know what yours is like.

3. progressive overload. Train with progressive overload.

 

[Deleted Account]

hey brother,

you should be proud of your accomplishments with your body transformation, any result is better than no result.

little tips

1. Don’t listen to Jason blaha, please. That man has no idea what he is talking about. If you want to gain muscle, the best is a push, pull, leg program and next best option would be 2 body parts per day with a 1 day rest throughout the week. I use to to compete in natural competitive bodybuilding, trust me on this.

2. what is your macro breakdown? A lot of times people aren’t consuming the right macro ratio so I would be curious to know what yours is like.

3. progressive overload. Train with progressive overload.

I got introduced to him by Joe Fazer's videos because Joe also started as a skinny guy. I actually prefer PPL than other splits like bro split (it is not optimal to train one body part a day). I take Sunday as my rest day. If I feel like I am too busy I change it to 3 times a week (mon, wed, fri) but full body.

I don't know what macro breakdown is but I try one scoop of peanut butter for fats, then probably fish or chicken for protein, and just snacks throughout the day.

I track my progress and usually add 2.5lbs every session or train with intensity making the reps slower or increase the reps.

 

[loosingit]

You have got to whatever you can to help yourself and stop. Quitting will never be accomplished if you are not ready. That’s just how addiction works. Get porn blocking software, go to therapy, listen to podcasts, read/listen to books, go to SAA meetings, get more hobbies, get off social media, avoid sex and sexual images on television….the list goes on.

I feel your pain. I’ve lived it. I’m 43. The good thing is, you are recognizing you have a problem at a young age. Be happy about that. Take advantage of that. We only get one shot at this thing called life.
You can do this. I know it is not easy. You’re stronger than this addition.

 

[jurte]

If that's the case, then I recommend checking out SAA. (Saa-recovery.org) has lots of free meetings everyday It's a 12-step recovery program to help with sex addiction. My journey got a Lot easier once I admitted I was a sex-addict who needs help.



sounds like you've fallen into the trap of using workout as a way to feed PMO with body image. I've been there, it's crappy. I suggest finding some hobbies and skills that don't feed your addiction this way - meditation, painting, board games...stuff that cannot be used to fuel the pornification of life.

Also umm why are you calling it "the pump." That is super weird. Just call it a healthy workout, or something like that, and focus on the good that comes from within.



no....who told you that?

Youve got a lot of good things going for ya, and a lot of potential to beat this addiction back. But you are turning yourself into a e-boy cam whore, a commodified body like so many PMO actors. Time to honor and respect yourself and cut that out. Delete the reddit (it is poison) and join some local clubs and activities, get out into life and nature - and join a 12 step group!

You can do it man!

Thanks for your message. Sometimes I need to hear the truth which assesses my life perfectly. I’ve been feeling like whore. By the pump I meant this moment when muscles are warmed up. Maybe wrong choice of words, English is not my first language. Thank you for kind and true words.

 

[jurte]

You have got to whatever you can to help yourself and stop. Quitting will never be accomplished if you are not ready. That’s just how addiction works. Get porn blocking software, go to therapy, listen to podcasts, read/listen to books, go to SAA meetings, get more hobbies, get off social media, avoid sex and sexual images on television….the list goes on.

I feel your pain. I’ve lived it. I’m 43. The good thing is, you are recognizing you have a problem at a young age. Be happy about that. Take advantage of that. We only get one shot at this thing called life.
You can do this. I know it is not easy. You’re stronger than this addition.

I’ll do my best. Being on this forum helps a lot. It’s incredible how so many young and intelligent guys are miserable because of this addiction. Thank you for the input sir!

 

[Keepitsimple1989]

I got introduced to him by Joe Fazer's videos because Joe also started as a skinny guy. I actually prefer PPL than other splits like bro split (it is not optimal to train one body part a day). I take Sunday as my rest day. If I feel like I am too busy I change it to 3 times a week (mon, wed, fri) but full body.

I don't know what macro breakdown is but I try one scoop of peanut butter for fats, then probably fish or chicken for protein, and just snacks throughout the day.

I track my progress and usually add 2.5lbs every session or train with intensity making the reps slower or increase the reps.

hey brother,

this is something that a lot of people don’t like saying or accepting because it can be demotivating, however when it comes to how much muscle someone can add and how it looks on their frame, it really comes down to genetics.

my brothers trained like I did and ate like I did, yet I was able to not only add much more muscle, I also had more appealing muscle due to my muscle bellies and insertions. I could lie and say “hard work is what garnished these results” however the truth is I did work hard at it, but without the genetics I could never have gotten those results. Having said that, everyone can work on the genetics they were born with and can always be a better version of themselves if they apply themselves.

Definitely do not do a bro split, worst way to train.

as for the way you eat, it’s really hard to get an idea if you are in a caloric surplus or not based on how you are eating. I would highly suggest you monitor how you eat, not as in to count every macro, but to at least know if you are in a surplus.

also be sure to get in 1g of protein per pound of bodyweight. I believe in a high carb diet as carbs replenish glycogen which gives you energy.


Stick to it brother but don’t worry if someone has done from skinny to muscle, or doesn’t mean their advise is always the best.