Can 90 days work for a 35 year old that has been masturbating since 12?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by TurboMike, Feb 11, 2017.

  1. TurboMike

    TurboMike Fapstronaut

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    Can rebooting for 90 days work for me? I've been watching porn unfortunately since I was 12 years old. When I didn't have porn I was watching regular TV finding bikini's, skirts and barely clothed women.

    I have calculated that I've masturbated at least 8400 times. That's once a day for 23 years. Sometimes to the point of hurting myself... meaning I would rub skin off my penis.

    I need help and definitely want to stop, but something tells me I will need more than 90 days.
     
  2. Mateo89

    Mateo89 Fapstronaut

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    TurboMike,

    This rebooting in 90 days is a popular misconception here on NoFap. It does serve as a motivational tool to keep you goal oriented on 90 days, but in no way shape or form will you receive a full reboot by 90. Hit 89, then set a further goal, with the momentum you develop. For myself, I've been addicted 10 years, since 17, and I can expect 6-12 months before any return in my libido. For yourself, perhaps longer.
    Check out my post
    https://www.NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/month-to-month-plan-for-NoFap-success.89595/

    It gives you a structured plan of action in beginning your NoFap journey.

    I hope it can be of use to you,

    I wish you a successful recovery,
    Mateo
     
  3. Awakening123

    Awakening123 Fapstronaut

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    90 days is just a number but it is a good scale to start off with. Most of us who have been addicts for many years will need longer. Having said that if you can go 90 days clean, you can remain pmo free for your entire life. Many people have been relapsing after going for 90 days because they tend to relax and think they are cured and this is when their mind tricks them back into the addictive cycle. I am sure I have seen many older people here 30+, 40+ etc who have stayed clean for months or even years after being addicts for decades; so it's definitely possible.


    There is a forum here on this site for 30+ members who might be in similar situation as yours. To answer your question of how long will it take?, only you can tell. It could take 6 months or even 1-2 years but this shouldn't discourage you. Once you have gone a few months clean, it gets easier and you can and will enjoy benefits that comes with recovery. Good luck!
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2017
    Mateo89 likes this.
  4. tbird

    tbird Fapstronaut

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    You have to get to the point where you are no longer automatically thinking about porn whenever you are alone, bored, or stressed. It could take 90 days, it could take 190 days. Just do it. The alternative is to stay addicted, and it never gets any better by itself. I can say that from my own experience at age 55.
     
  5. It depends. If the PMO addiction hasn't been going on for too long and you're relatively young, 30 days can be enough. On average, 90 days will be enough to fix most of the addiction, and it's your safest bet to quitting PMO. But honestly speaking, whether or not 90 days is enough for you shouldn't matter because it should be like a habit or lifestyle, nobody said that porn can be a good thing. Not saying you should go celibate, but you should seek for other ways of releasing that energy (such as actual sex) because masturbation alone can lead you back to where you started once you continue to seek for more pleasure.
     
  6. TurboMike

    TurboMike Fapstronaut

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    Oh man, thanks for the reply everyone. I won't lie, hearing this is pretty discouraging. I grew up thinking I wasn't addicted to anything and I don't have an addictive personality and I used to always "look down" on addicts because I never really could understand why someone can get addicted to something. Little did I know at the time I was addicted and lived in denial.

    Sucks, and this won't be easy. I'm gonna shoot for 90 days and move the goal at 89 like Mateo suggested.

    This all kind of hit me last year and I've failed every attempt to stop. This is my attempt to get serious at it. I really hope I can succeed.
     
  7. TurboMike

    TurboMike Fapstronaut

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    Makes sense, just seems so daunting lol. I'll definitely work towards it. As mentioned in another thread of mine, I am using Vyagra and it's working for me, but I get headaches galore, my vision is wonky and it's hard to breath through my nose lol.

    I hate it to say the least, but it kind of enables me to stay addicted to porn. It's like a bandaid for a cut that I keep making. It's not healing anything, just hiding the truth from myself.
     
  8. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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    It's gonna take us awhile.
     
  9. Daggett62891

    Daggett62891 New Fapstronaut

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    Hey Turbomike,

    What has helped me (yes, I set a 90 day goal) is I think of it as a life style change. It's a new way of life!
    I have a clear vision of the type of man I see myself becoming and FAPPING is one of the MANY things I don't see in my vision.
    I have two goals with NoFap, and they are: 1) to develop an even greater level of self- discipline and 2) to become highly efficient with my time because time is precious I am working towards making the most of it.

    Good Luck and hopefully this helps,

    Daggett62891
     
  10. RawMoon

    RawMoon Fapstronaut

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    you will be ok turbo mike. it is daunting and who knows if 90 days will be enough. i think that the arbitrary number needs to stop being thrown around constantly, but it could be good short-term goal. good luck.
     
  11. tbird

    tbird Fapstronaut

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    @TurboMike Start a journal under the Reboot Logs, if you haven't already. Keep updating it with your progress, as well as setbacks. Sometimes it's very helpful to look back and actually see the changes taking place.
     
  12. Resolved Oregonian

    Resolved Oregonian Fapstronaut

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    @TurboMike , wow, thank you for your vulnerability with your struggle. Transparency is an incredibly important part of our journey in achieving porn abstinence. I can definitely empathize with your long time struggle with porn. I am 33, and my first porn experience was around 8 years old. I too have had many attempts at quitting porn, and have met with failure.

    I am new to the NoFap community, and am going through my first reboot. Honestly, when considered in light of how far I have to go, and how many times I have failed in the past, it seems incredibly daunting at times. There are many times when I wonder if sexual wholeness is even possible. I wonder if habits practiced over years can ever be changed. What's I have found to be a profound difference with this reboot experience is how much more empowered.

    I feel being connected to a community of like minded people here at NoFap. I have never had an experience like this before. And as has been mentioned before, I find it helpful to view this experience as being a lifestyle change, and not the more crude and limited ( 30, or 90 day goal).

    I think a goal of a set number of days is an important tool for recovery, but if I view what I am doing as a lifestyle change, then I can view what I am doing in a more 1 day at a time context. I live everyday abstaining from porn, because that is what a lifestyle involves. One day at a time. Godspeed with your lifestyle change Mike, you will do it successfully.
     
  13. IGY

    IGY Guest

    This is an error that echoes throughout this thread (and this site). :oops: Rebooting has very little to do with the overall length of time a person has been masturbating to porn. o_O The key factor is: "at what age did the person start using high-speed internet porn?" The developing brain is susceptible to damage from this type of porn during childhood and adolescence. So, those that used high-speed internet porn during their brain's formative years have to heal from significant damage. :oops:
     
    Awakening123 likes this.
  14. Mateo89

    Mateo89 Fapstronaut

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    Very true. The younger you are, the more malleable and sensitive your brain is. I would say length does play a factor however and they are intertwined. I'm kind of motivated to making some kind of mathematical formula for this.

    Mateo
     
  15. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Why not aim for 90 days and then see how you feel? I got to the end of my 90 Day rebbot and despite my expectations I had found that giving up masturbation definitely helped me resist porn. But I wasn't sure if the effect felt permanent so I've lengthened my reboot goal to 180 days (this is day 127). But this is your experiment. Give 90 days a shot (it's not easy) and after that review how you feel, your goals, and whether you think you are through the reboot.
     

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